http://img264.imageshack.us/img264/3039/morningconstitutionalloor9.jpgWTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

From the twisted mind of Zip Goshboots comes "The Morning Constitutional".

Zip will be sharing his innermost thoughts each weekday morning on the WTFDetroit.com home page.

Being a sensitive man, Zip really needs constant approval from the WTFers, so once you read his new column, stop back here and leave your comments (and ridicule).

http://WTFDetroit.com

Good stuff, Zip.

I look forward to checking this out every morning.

Just please refrain from including more shirtless pics of Jack Black.

Well, I can't make any promises about Jack Black, but what I'm really worried about is this "every morning" stuff. It's a *gulp* committment, and that really scares me.
Is it too early to have a file of "The Best of Zip Goshboots Morning Constitutional" in case I wake up tomorrow with an incredible hangover in a dumpster in Spokane?

i have long searched for quality reading while i am taking my morning dump. thank you, Zip. your writing is poop-worthy.

[smilie=queen.gif]

http://wtfdetroit.com/pics/vida.jpg

Dayum!

what I'm really worried about is this "every morning" stuff. It's a *gulp* committment, and that really scares me.

I would have thought that "staying regular" was right up your alley.

I am here for all who spend countless hours on the shitter wondering "Is this ALL there is? Can't there be something more meaningful while I'm waiting for my legs to go to sleep?"

I don't know how regualr I am, becaue everyone is always telling me I'm full of shit, no matter HOW much time I spend on the Throne.

ok, if this is a daily feature, we need to pace ourselves with the shitty puns.....

You could build up to shitty puns with fart jokes...

i feel it a lot

The Friday Constitutional has been posted.

http://WTFDetroit.com

Another new Constitutional from Zip will appear on Monday.

Check out Zip as he channels his "inner Larry King" in today's Morning Constitutional.

http://WTFDetroit.com

At this time, WTFDetroit.com would like to apologize, on behalf of Zip Goshboots, to the family of the late, great, Norman Fell.

We apologize for this unfortunate oversight and wish to pass on our condolences on Mr. Fell's tragic death back in 1998 to the family.

I'm not so sure Larry King didn't die in 1998 as well.

Zip weighs in on Don Imus.

http://WTFDetroit.com

Zip, this is awesome stuff. Keep up the good work.

Here's a little archive for anyone that has missed any of Zip's columns.

He's working on some really good ones right now too, especially Friday's.

April 26, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning42607)

April 27, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning42707)

April 30, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning43007)

May 1, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5107)

Thanks MoTown. Just remember not to read this shit until your food is completely digested.

The "late Morning" Constitutional has arrived.

Zip discusses Barry Melrose, mullets and more.

http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5207

Now this was a funny constitutional

Zip's Morning Constitutional for May 3rd

http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5307

Enjoy, suckas.

Global warming? Soft economy? That fucking pantload Bush? That Fucking Pantload Cheney? The war in Iraq? Will we EVER get thos fucking Repulsicans out of the fucking Blight House? Will MSU ever pull it's football head out of it's football fartbox? ......I got no time to think about that now. Time for my "morning constitution." Keep 'em coming Omaha......

Thanks, Hip and Darko!
Looking forward to working my way down my shitlist to many things you mentioned.
It might take time, I've got a long shit list, and it grows by the minute.

New MC coming shortly, and I think it's the best one yet.

Here's a great piece on Lloyd Carr and Michigan football:

http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5407

Great read on Carr, Zip.

Updated archive:


April 26, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning42607)

April 27, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning42707)

April 30, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning43007)

May 1, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5107)

May 2, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5207)

May 3, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5307)

May 4, 2007 (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5407)

I'm here to speak to the Michigan Football article. For toilet reading, it was appropriate. I'm not high on fair-weather fans, but at the same time, look at the Lions. What motivation do the Ford's have to make any changes when they have a sufficient fan following that sticks with them and buys tickets for such a horrible product.
However, that is a business. While college football is also a business for some, there's a difference between being Millen and being Carr. It's not like Carr is horrible. Yeah, I'm not happy with mediocrity, but the cat has made changes - just usually too late. When they had their worst season on his watch, he moved some coaches along and came back with an 11-0 season until it ended in old school fashion. When he lost world class instate recruits, he came back by nabbing the top recruit in the state right away, along with an instate 4-star shortly afterward.
Can he be blamed for Cali-Florida getting in heads about speed and preparing DB's for the next level? Not when the knock was on the entire Midwest, including Ohio State and Notre Dame.
So I get your discomfort with the program. I don't disagree. But if you stick with your claim in this bathroom read and go fair-weather, don't be surprised when some loyal fans piss on your shoes when you return someday.

A fair weather fan, Jethro, is someone who bounces from team to team, or jumps up and down screaming in Gutz-LESS Gazu fashion for whoever wins whatever championship.
Any fan of any team has the right to tune out when things just appear to be fair to middling, and you can't belive it's going to get any better.
In fact, the WORST kind of fan is the kind of guy who WON'T do anything but sit in the stands and cheer and turn a deaf ear to any criticism of the team, and because he's all "Rah Rah! I support them no matter what" goes on and rips the fans who say, "you know what? This is a complete waste of time"
Carr isn't going anywhere near where he was in 1997. Anyone who thinks he will is probably permanently oxygen depleted, or entering the late stages of Alzheimer's.
Is Michigan on the level of, say, MSU? No. Are things terrible? No.
They should, though, probably challenge for the NC every 3-4 years, and win or share the Big 10 title at LEAST half the time.
Go ahead and piss on my shoes, but you'll have to catch me at the park or on a lake or out playing golf and enjoying life on Saturday to do it. After, of course, you pull yourself up off the floor after watching Lloyd drop 3-4 games per year for the rest of his career.

It's Monday, which means the spirit of Larry King has possessed Zip yet again.

http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5707

Because it's still morning (somewhere).

Zip on tattoos: http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5807

Pure bitterness. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5907)

haha, that line about the sailboat and grocery store cracked me up

Man, darko, I took fourteen hours to wirte that and you only remember ONE line?
I hope I'm earing my annual salary of 33 Ginkaldi*.
Ginkaldi is a rare currency only used on the planet Zxrtqrf, a dilithium crystal mining outpost in the Orion galaxy, a mere 33.8 grillion light years from Earth. It's a "rare" currency because even there they now use the Euro.

NASA should spend billions of dollars to go check that out.

Today's MC (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning51007) features Zip's unique take on the Iraq War.

Zip practices what he preaches. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning51107)

Congrats on the degree, Zip

Btw, Zip took today off.

The combination of his graduation and his birthday over the weekend must have really taken their toll.

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

May 16, 2007

The day after another Republican debate and the passing of Jerry Falwell, I thought I’d take a look at both the Republican party (and its growing religious faction) and share some thoughts about it with the great WTFDetroit posters.

Read the complete May 16, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning51607)

Zip's alter ego, Larry King, is back.

http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning51707

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

May 18, 2007

I’m considering calling WTF’s own Denny McLain and buying a Vespa.

For crying out loud, even for those of us who buy cheap clunkers because we don’t want car payments, and make sure they’re small cars that get good gas mileage, owning a car has become downright unaffordable. The problem is, there isn’t much you can do about it.

Read the complete May 18, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning51807)

Special afternoon edition!!

(okay, it's just late)


http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

May 21, 2007

Checking In With The King

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgI’m gonna quit smoking as soon as someone invents a breakfast that’s better than two cups of coffee and three Camels…I’m not a basketball purist, and I’m not a basketball junkie, but I do like the game. I’d like it even more if Manu Ginobili ran into a Karl Malone elbow and ended up never being able to play again…

Read the complete May 21, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning52107)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

May 25, 2007

Memorial Day

Well boys, it’s finally here! The unofficial kick off of summer is finally upon us. For most of us, it comes after a long, cold winter with a lot of snow shoveling and ice scraping. But it is always worth it when the leaves finally sprout, everything turns green, and the hum of lawnmowers resonates through the neighborhood.

Read the complete May 25, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning52507)

Uh, Zip.... What the hell are you talking about?

Zip, do you happen to live in a van down by the river?

Zip, do you happen to live in a van down by the river?

Actually, a van down by the river would be considered an upgrade.

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

May 29, 2007

I’ve always wanted to be King for a day.

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgI have finally figured out what makes me really hate women’s softball: most of the players don’t wear hats. A ballplayer should wear a hat, even if the ballplayer is a girl…Look at the NFL. Football is king, and the players wear hats…What’s up with Girls softball and the pitching mound being only twelve feet from home plate?…And it wouldn’t hurt the sport if some of those heffers lost a little weight…I can no longer watch sports with my wife. They yack and yack and yack. I had forgotten the joy of watching a game and hearing someone say, “Oh look, that player has the same name as you!” or “Look, he’s wearing number 24. Wow, you were twenty-four twenty years ago. Does that make him your favorite player?” Oh Jesus H. Christ, put a bullet in my head, and it’s not even halftime!...

Read the complete May 29, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning52907)

Oh man, Larry King is certifiably insane with his utterly random observations. "...call me crazy, but I think some ketchups are just better than others..."

It's as if he wanders his house with a voice recorder, thinking that people really want to hear all the bizarre shit that pops into his head.

Good impression Zip.

Good read Zip. I have to give my wife props though. She barely watches sports (at least on TV) and she keeps up with the who's who pretty well. Not so much on the rules, but she knows the players pretty well.

A little late (no fault of Zip's) but still a good read.


http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

May 30, 2007

Those of us who grew up watching television shows like “The Brady Bunch” or “Hawaii Five-O” like to reminisce about the “golden age” of television. We turn our noses up at all the reality shows and the schlock news shows with a loud “harrumph” and act as if we grew up in some gilded age when things were just “better”.

Read the complete May 30, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning53007)

100% in agreement. I regard people who watch LOST with the same miserable pity I give to guys dating Catholic girls: yes, it seems promising, but it's never going to pay off.

LOST can never, ever tell you anything important. If they tell you anything worth knowing, you won't have a reason to watch anymore. So the show just gets increasingly nonsensical with every episode, while an army of coked-up writers are in a network-enforced lockdown, panicking and sweating like Meat Loaf in Miami, trying to find ways to make their show even weirder.

This just goes to show why Heroes is a superior show. They have smaller story arcs that take only a few episodes to tell, and they try to make something meaningful out of each of them.

Something that seems meaningless can be wondrous and brilliant if you just look below the surface. But if you've been looking under the surface for a while and it still seems meaningless, then it's probably just a fucking meaningless waste of time.

My wife is trying to get me to watch Heroes. I might give it a look. It will sure beat having her tell me about it.

The great thing about Heroes is that there are so many characters and plot lines, it doesn't really matter if you hate some of them.

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

May 31, 2007

Forget all that you’ve ever learned about dinosaurs, fossils, the bible, evolution, and just about anything else taught to you as a child. Forget it all, and step into something known as the Creation Museum.

Read the complete May 31, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning53107)

Why, it rather reminds me of this fascinating parable handed down to us from ancient sages. (http://www.jhuger.com/kisshank.php)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 1, 2007

Wal-Mart

Have you ever, even once, gone to Wal-Mart looking for a suit, or a cool tie, or a new shirt for that first date with the hot chick you met at the bar?

Read the complete June 1, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning6107)

My Dad is great. After twenty years of Rush Limbaugh indoctrination, he’s got the world broken down into two groups: Republicans and fags.

Awesome.

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 4, 2007

The Zip Goshboots/ Larry King Vulcan Mind Meld

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgI’ve reached the point of exhaustion with the Kobe Bryant soap opera. The one millionth time I heard some beat writer discuss who the Lakers might trade Kobe to seems to have been my breaking point. With all the drama that follows the Lakers, you’d think that Susan Lucci owned the team…

Read the complete June 4, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning6407)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 5, 2007

I’ve noticed that this site lacks something that is almost fundamental to daily readers of any website, newspaper, or cereal box, and today I am offering a remedy to that situation. I honestly don’t know how the regular visitors here have managed to get by without a horoscope. You may think that a morning coffee and smoke, and a quick glance to see if Dr. Tre has again posted something preposterous is all you need before you head out to work, but how do you know that the stars are aligned in such a way as to keep you from stepping on some burning bag of shit left on your porch by a mischievous kid in your neighborhood?

Without further adieu, we now present an even newer feature to the great WTFDetroit.com: The Occasional Horoscope as presented by Zip Goshboots.

Read the complete June 5, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning6507)

Make sure you guys read this one, it's funny.

(Not that the others aren't)

This is late, and it's my fault.


http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 6, 2007

The thing that sets us men apart from lower life forms like alligators, donkeys, and women is our refusal to grow up.

For instance, I can’t listen to a commercial for the “Hummer” without snickering and thinking I’ll go down to the local dealer and get a blow job; I can’t see, hear, or think about the word “Boner” without cracking up; and if I see the word “Shat”, you’ll think I just heard a good joke. I almost died laughing last week when my buddy Paul the Plumber said that “I almost shat myself when I saw the price of a Hummer, but the car was so cool it gave me a boner”. If he had either burped or farted (or both) at the end of that sentence, I wouldn’t be writing this, and my wife would be frantically digging through the insurance papers, planning a vacation to Jamaica, and telling her boyfriend he could move in after about a two week grace period.

Read the complete June 6, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning6607)

My brother-in-law loves the word "shat," and has since begun referring to his turds as William Shatner.

[http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 11, 2007

I’m Larry King, and Zip’s Not…

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgI thought the original “Manchurian Candidate” with Frank Sinatra was way better than the remake with Denzel Washington. Frank could act circles around Denzel. Everyone keeps giving all this credit to Denzel, and I just don’t get it. He even won an Oscar for a performance that I’ve been told he “cringed at, and nearly cut my package off in repentance for giving”. Besides, you want a great actor? Try Ricardo Montalban.

Read the complete June 11, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning61107)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 12, 2007

Do you know what we all want to be when we grow up? Inspector Gadget, that’s who.

Whether it’s cell phones, blackberries, I-Pods, MP3 players, or GPS satellites in our cars, we just can’t get enough little gadgets to play with. It’s as if modern technology causes a guy to trade in his dick for a laptop (computer).

Read the complete June 12, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning61207)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 13, 2007

Recently I went to the grocery store, and though it wasn’t my first time shopping, I decided it would be the first time I would pay attention to my surroundings while there, and not try to get in and out in my usual 33 seconds. I looked around and noticed a few different personality types, and this is what I found…

Read the complete June 13, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning61307)

great read this morning Zip. I hate the grociery store and you are dead on. You missed the one shopper I hate the most.

The ones who wander around aimlessley up and down the aisle looking for something, or just stand there unable to make up their mind, while their cart blocks the entire aisle. They drive their carts like a pair of 90 year old's on a Sunday afternoon with no place to be.

One observation I have made at grociery stores is that the cashier is the most important factor in getting out of that wretched place. You can pick the smallest line and stand there forever because the stupid cashier is dirt slow. That brings me to another shopper...the one who can't read sale signs and questions every price when the item is rung up.

Nice read.

There is also the "lady in the cereal aisle reading all of the cereal names back to the entire family at home on her cell phone".

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 14, 2007

I hope we’ve all read the article on what is or isn’t over rated by the esteemed Jethro (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=jethro6707). I have a feeling he’s going to be really esteamed after he reads this (and yes, he does read the Constitutional. In fact, I have an email from someone in Guam who reads it).

You know what is REALLY over rated? The Ten Commandments.

Read the complete June 14, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning61407)

http://wtfdetroit.com/pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 15, 2007

It used to be you went to the store for about ten things: Smokes, gas, beer, tools, Penthouse, TV dinners, and to check out babes. Not anymore.

Read the complete June 15 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning61507)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 19, 2007

Anyone who watched the US Open this past weekend saw a great event. It was played on a beautiful course, in great weather, and up to the final shot, it was very tense. Appropriately, it was broadcast on NBC, the home of the slogan “Must see TV”.

Read the complete June 19, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning61907)

On Sunday, all the fitness freaks got a big “Fuck You” from all of us out of shape, ugly, bowlers and golfers who get better when we drink. Chalk one up for the Tuesday night Plumbers Softball League as well. Bring a carton of smokes, a keg of beer, and a box of Ding Dongs to your next practice boys, because exercise and having a lean, muscular body just had another nail driven into their coffins.

ROFLMAO!!

I know that you all have been wondering, but I think Zip is on a bender.

He'll be back soon.

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 22, 2007

Family Vacation

It’s summer now, the time of year
When the phrase will soon appear
Two words spoken, with much elation-
Cause in the end, much aggravation

In winter months the thought brings joy
You are the captain, the sole envoy
You’ll lead them into lands unknown
Smiles directed at you alone

April, May, June crawl by
And finally it is July
You’re Overheard saying, “he can kiss my ass”
But Boss knows what’s coming, you’ll get a pass

He’s seen many come, and many go
He just smiles as one who knows
Though you think he’s really a jerk
He thinks “He’ll be glad to get back to work”

The calendar’s cleared, the desk is clean
On the other side, the grass really is green!
You and your wife made reservations
It’s time for the Family Vacation!

Read the complete June 22, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning62207)

That was the first MC that I would consider "cute".

Not an insult at all.

No disrespect.

http://www.theticket.com/images/BillParcells-125.jpg

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 25, 2007

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgHey gang! It’s been awhile, I’m still recuperating from a wild US Open celebration down there in Argentina with Angel Cabrera and his posse. Man, when a guy is big in another country, he’s B. I. G. Cabrera has a spread like you wouldn’t believe, and there were so many women down there to just pick and choose from. That guy just doesn’t party on the golf course, he gets it done at home, baby. Now, if only someone from Brazil would win it. Partying with Vida Guerra might kill me, but it would be worth it…Tiger Woods just had a kid: Let me tell you, with Tiger and the Swedish Human Chlorox Drip for parents, that kid is gonna have one mean set of teeth and nipples…I know Tiger is calling for drug testing in golf, but with the way he looked, he better hold off on that talk until he has his “Bitch Tits” removed. Man, I thought Phil Mickelson had some nice boobs. Golf is big on promoting itself as some sort of gentlemanly sport with all kinds of etiquette and magical, mystical qualities, but the big talk these days is tits and smokes. It’s like NASCAR with bad clothes…

Read the complete June 25, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning62507)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 26, 2007

Recently, I read an article on MSN.Com called “8 Signs You’re Headed for Financial Disaster”, and though interesting, it was a bit too heady. I’ve decided to make it simpler, and as this goes on I may add or subtract some signs of impending financial doom, and I may also, as usual, completely contradict myself twenty or thirty times during the discussion, so we’ll call this one:

Zip Goshboots’ Several Tips That You’re Soon Going to be Living in a Cardboard Box.

Read the complete June 26, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning62607)

Someone's bitter about marriage.

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

June 29, 2007

The following report was sent to me by my dear friend Snooky Fupdaigle some years ago via ESP. I forgot about it, finding it hard to decipher (Snooky sent it in Portuguese), and somehow it just got lost in the complete mess that is otherwise known as my mind. Recently, it came back to me, and I was able to find a Portuguese mind reader who translated it for me (and all of you). This may be more poignant now then it was seven years ago when I first received it. Here it is, in its entirety, and my thanks go to Juanita Robespierre Cunha for her outstanding work in translating it.


Read the complete June 29, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning62907)

Zip, do we need to talk? Are you under a lot of stress lately?

Top Three viewed threads in this forum:

1. WTF Detroit Mock Draft: 1995
2. Mad Max Facts: 1517
3. Morning Constitutional With Zip Goshboots: 1238

I'm making a shameless plea for more people to at least look at the Constitutional to make it, one day, the most viewed thread in the WTF Front Page Forum.

Scoring update as of 10:14 Central Daylight Time, Sunday, July 1:

NBA Shit: 2001
Jason Maxiell crap: 1519
The Wisdom of Zip Goshboots: 1251

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

July 2, 2007

Everyone needs a little Lary King in their life, just ask any one of my eight (or is it nine) wives!!!

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpg And I really hate people who ask me if I’ve heard a certain song, and then when I say “No”, they feel compelled to sing it for me, as if that will jar my memory. I’m trapped between saying “OH Yeah! THAT song!” when they start singing, but usually that will make them say, “Well, how about this other one that Biggie Smalls did?” and then sing that one, or saying “NO, you stupid fuck, and you’re singing makes me want to hurl right in your stupid ass face”…Why, if the White Fro of the ‘70s has left us, can’t the mullet do the same? Must be the lesbians…


Read the complete July 2, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning7207)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

July 9, 2007

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgWell it’s nice to see the Tigers beat someone with a pulse. I was getting scared there for awhile, knowing that they have to play the Twins and Indians about 400 times this year…I can understand Tiger Woods not putting well right now. He’s got about five more weeks of not getting anywhere near ANY hole, if ya know what I mean. That’s one good thing about having a kid, that you won’t have to listen to your wife complain about a headache for awhile. I’ve always recommended breast feeding for babies. It’s really the best way to ensure that I’ll get a good night’s sleep until the little fucker can get his own milk in the middle of the night…


Read the complete July 9, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning7907)

New Scores are in!!!

NBA Garbage: 2032
Jason Maxiell Bullshit (no doubt fueled by the fact that he is looking fit and trim these days): 1552

The Wisdom of Zip: 1407

Sorry about the lack of material guys. I have been experiencing some "Writer's Block". And I've been low on beer for a couple weeks.

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

July 12, 2007

Part II of a Series
(note: if you missed Part I, you may want to read it here (”http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning62907”) first.)

At that, the whole place went quiet. I looked around, and everyone was staring at us. After a couple seconds, Arno emerged from the men’s bathroom with the brute he was dancing with, and ran up to the table. “Everything all right, Midge?” He asked, in a sharp tone, and gave me a stern look. “Yes, Arno, I just can’t get over it! After all these years, I still can’t believe Dickie dropped me like that! OH GOD! What the FUCK happened! How did I end up here?” she screamed. Arno was quick to act, having seen this a thousand times before, and he grabbed an empty whiskey bottle and broke it over her head. Then he held up the jagged end and yelled “DAMMITT WOMAN! Shut the hell up! Why do you do this to me? Why do you only care about yourself? Give me another drink Fuckhole”.

Read the complete July 12, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning71207)

Scoring Update:

WTF Draft: 2042
Jason Maxiell: 1566
Zip Goshboots: 1441

I think there is some "ballot box" stufing going on here. Jason Maxiell's trends indicate more views in these last two days than in the last month.

Sunday Evening Scoring Update:

WTF Daft Draft: 2046
Jason Maxiell (Rocking Adidas): 1582
Zip Goshboots (Found an almost new pair of Pro Keds at the Goodwill, and even though both were left feet shoes, and one was a size 12 and the other a size 14 (I wear size 6.5 Tripple E), I still bought 'em, and I'll still rock 'em): 1468

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

July 16, 2007

I can’t get enough of me…

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgEver wonder what Barry Bonds would have been without steroids? I used to, then one day it came to me: Ken Griffey Jr. Instead of growing his head and feet, Griffey plugged along, probably just hitting the weights and eating his spinach, and he’ll probably end up with about 650 home runs, instead of the nearly 800 Bonds will hit…I’d have taken steroids years ago if I didn’t notice that when a bodybuilder shows up in a Speedo, he’s got less of a bulge than your typical ‘70s “wolf shot” in Playboy. Seriously, though, you do have to give it up to Bonds, as it is not conceivable that many pitchers weren’t on steroids, and that everybody else was doing them, and he’s the only guy who has been able to do what he has. Bud Selig just needs to quit being so evasive, and be there when Bonds breaks Hammerin’ Hank’s record…

Read the complete July 16, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning71607)

SCORING ALERT***

NBA Draft: 2047
Jason Maxiell: 1584
Zip Goshboots: 1503

Wow, the Constitutional is gaining ground. Too bad I'm flat out of ideas since I'm studying for the PPST.
The Constitutional has gained significant ground in the last two days. Jason Maxiell seems to have flattened out a bit, and the mock draft, well, I assume it's been covered by all the major networks by now (except the Weather Channel), so we appear to be able to set our sights on that one shortly. BUT FIRST, Maxiell is in the crosshairs.

*click* *click*



(that's the sound of people clicking on the other two threads to increase the lead)

***WTF Detroit Scoring Alert***

NBA Mock Fantasy Pretend Draft: 2049
Jason Maxiell Eaten Babies: 1590
Zip Goshboots New Converts to the Radical Left: 1530

Oh, it's more than a movement, It's a feeling!

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

July 19, 2007

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

Not many of us are old enough to remember Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio. About the most controversial thing he ever did was marry Marilyn Monroe. We’ve certainly come a long way from there, haven’t we?

It is a huge understatement to say that sports are not really about, well, sports anymore. It’s about the athlete’s personal life, his rap sheet, his contract, his outrageous comments, his personal collection of guns and ammunition, and his dog fighting ring.

Read the complete July 19, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning71907)

http://wtfdetroit.com/pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

July 23, 2007

Yikes! It’s almost football season…

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpg …I half expected the guy to say something like “Oh, they’re always after me lucky Claret Joog”. Honestly, can this guy BE any more of a caricature? He sounds like something you’d send two proofs of purchase and 50 cents in to get. “Pull me string, and watch me beat Sergio Garcia”. Wow, it’s over for Sergio. I know he’s only 27, but holy Greg Norman, he’s racking up quite a career as a finalist for the Heimlich Maneuver Award. But really, you’ve got to be glad Padraig Harrington won. That’s one more guy who we’ll never have to hear them say “Boy, when will he break through”.

Read the complete July 23, 2007 "Constitutional" (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning72307)

***WTF DETROIT SCORING ALERT***

NBA Mock Draft: 2064
Jason Maxiell: 1601
Zip Goshboots: 1592

It looks as if Maxiell is about to be pwned. I wonder if this will qualify as a significant victory. NBA Draft clearly in sight. It's just a matter of time.

Zip is back.


http://wtfdetroit.com/pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

August 8, 2007

It’s finally over. Barry Bonds finally hit THE home run, and now we can all get back to our normal daily routine of ignoring baseball (unless you’re a fan of one of the four teams who annually have a chance to win the World Series). But the question remains, and has been asked over 3 million times now, where do we go from here?

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning8807)

http://wtfdetroit.com/pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

August 14, 2007

I’m going for Jack Nicklaus’ record also…

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgWhat a weekend in golf, eh mates? Tiger cruises in, once again proving that there isn’t a golfer alive today who can touch him, not even Woody Austin, the 43 year old hack who still thinks he played better than Tiger on Friday, despite the fact that Tiger was seven strokes better than him on Friday. Wow, is this Austin for real? How the hell do you get on national television and scream to the world that you played better than the guy who won the tournament, or that you think you’re as good as him? And Woody, what’s with that scab on your lip all weekend? As they say, “thanks for playing, pick up your fabulous door prizes on the way out”, and we’ll never hear from this dork again…

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning81407)

http://wtfdetroit.com/pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

August 20, 2007

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgI’ve been taking a look at fashion trends lately, and a couple have caught my eye. First, how about what kids are wearing nowadays? Whether they are wearing their pants down around their ankles or my grandfather’s checkered shorts, they display absolutely no taste. We were dorky in my day, but we had no choice. There weren’t any Gap stores, or any good shows on TV to show us what was cool. Now, these kids look like shit, and they have no excuse. What we wore back then was just as ugly as it is now, but we knew it. There is an awesome irony in watching young people try to act cool while wearing clothes that even we made fun of each other in…

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning82007)

Zip's back, and not a single mention of Lloyd Carr.


http://wtfdetroit.com/pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

September 5, 2007

I’m still pissed that Sean Penn beat out Johnny Depp for the Oscar a few years back. Sean Penn’s acceptance speech reminded me of my least favorite thing in the world: A radio interview with an athlete. Even if I’m hooked up with my man Colin Cowherd, when I hear him say something like, “Hey, on the other side of the break, we’re gonna talk to Texas Rangers second baseman Floopie Quardyontz!” I’m running to the radio to flip over to something more interesting, like an interview with the guy who invented Formica on NPR. I’ve just had it with guys who don’t know how to say anything other than “We got to do what we got to do” or “We just have to step it up to the next level” or “I didn’t actually choke the bitch”. Just once, I’d like to hear an athlete do something interesting, like break into a chorus of “I’m every woman, it’s all in meeeeee”.

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning9507)

Zip's back......i've been backed up......now, i can be regular again.

http://wtfdetroit.com/pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

September 6, 2007

Well, the dust is starting to settle a little bit from the carnage that was left in the Big House on Saturday, and it’s time to analyze this situation for the 47 millionth time.

Boys, life is about choices. You make some good ones, you make some bad ones. Sometimes you even choose not to choose. Doesn’t matter, that’s still a choice. A little over a decade ago, Gary Moeller made a choice to get sloshed and have a fight with the police somewhere in Michigan, and the University of Michigan made a choice to can him over it. Michigan was then faced with a choice of whom to hire to replace Moeller as football coach.

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning9607)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

September 14, 2007

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgI really am going to kill the next person who says “Let’s do lunch” to me. I don’t mind the “I’ll have your people contact mine” part, because that helps me understand how important I am. But “do lunch” sounds like a soccer Mom trying to be hip, back in 1986…Sure, I’d like to sniff Barry Williams’ armpits…Don’t tell this reporter that things are going well in Iraq: my ratings are down 97% over there…Now, we already thought that Britney Spears was over, but after that MTV deal, she can be placed in the category of “forgotten”. Come on, slut, just enjoy your cash, keep doing the lesbo thing, give us a few beaver shots every now and then, but please, for the love of Mike, give up singing and dancing in public (but keep sending me those videos of you and Brian Urlacher)…I know it was the Chicago Bears offense, but seriously, if San Diego’s defense can remain that good, then that’s my prediction for this season’s Super Bowl champ…I prefer Kraft Macaroni and Cheese over just about any food for a quick hunger fix after sex…

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning91407)

That was ...

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/3171/cheesygood1tj3.jpg

And I agree Lunch is a noun, not a verb...damnit!

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

September 24, 2007

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgWell, a wild and woolly weekend finds me waking up on some beach nude and spooning Gabe Kaplan. Honestly, faithful readers, Gabe might have been cute back in the day while roaming a make believe classroom with the likes of John Travolta, but how in the world could there possibly have been THAT much liquor?...If I didn’t know better, I’d have swore that at some time in the past, Notre Dame kind of made the college football go ‘round. Now they are reduced to having Regis Philbin give pre-game pep talks. Regis, a proud graduate of that fine institution, is great when he’s swigging coffee with any number of foxy broads on morning brain dead fare (otherwise known as television), but if he is the guy you go to other than to cash a $ 1 million check for knowing that pepper was originally invented by the ancient Sumerians, you may be in need of a complete transfusion and a brain transplant…

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning92407)

Zippy's back!


http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

December 20, 2007

I feel the need to step back into the ring this fine holiday season to soothe some of the angst for my fellow Wolverine fans.

Like many of you, I put myself through hell during Michigan’s search for a new head football coach. I read all the blogs, forums, newspaper articles, and listened intently for the next Kirk Herbstreit scoop. I went through a bottle of rum every day, maybe a few drugs, some cheap whores (I think some of them were women. One may have been, well, not quite human. This IS farm country). I posted feverishly all of my ideas to every forum I visited. I may have solved the problem of cold fusion while posting on some “Lifetime Network” forum regarding what to do if your husband has left you to join the Cirque De Soleil. In short, I drove myself batty, along with the legions of Michigan fans who figured that this coaching search would take about as much time as it would for Bill Martin to call up Les Miles and say, “Howdy Les! Lloyd’s office is now yours. His shit’s in boxes down in storage, the place has been fumigated, and we’ll see ya tomorrow!” SCCCCRAAAAEEEEEECCCCH.

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning122007)

That put it all into perspective. Good show sir.

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

December 26, 2007

Now that the dust has settled, and most Michigan fans have been talked off the ledge after an excruciating coaching search, it’s time to analyze the hiring of Rich Rodriguez.

Can you say, “Outstanding”?

This was a huge opening in NCAA football. In fact, there were several huge openings this year. Nebraska, Texas A&M, Arkansas, Mississippi, UCLA, and Michigan, to name a few (at least those that I can remember after yet another night of revelry this holiday season). I can’t remember a year when so many “Big Name” schools were out there trying to poach the ranks of college football for a new warden; then again, this WAS a wacky year of upsets and other shenanigans, so why not cap it off with so many coaches being canned, resigning, or retiring?

Let’s forget about those other schools, though, because Michigan’s search dominated the news for three weeks. And let’s forget about those other schools because, well, who really gives a shit about Arkansas, Mississippi, and Nebraska?

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning122607)

^One of, if not the best, Consitutionals that Zip has done here.

Indeed, very good.

Very nice.

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

January 2, 2008

Yowza!

That was some game to watch. If there’s one thing you can say about Michigan Football, it’s that this program seems to always be involved in riveting games; games you just can’t walk away from (as I did in The Year of Infinite Pain, in 2005. Penn State had just scored to take the lead in Ann Arbor with about a minute to go. My two buddies wanted to leave, so finally I caved when PSU scored. We all know what happened next. It was quite the nervous drive back to Nebraska with the bodies of my two buddies in the trunk). This one was no different. Four Michigan turnovers kept breathing life into the Gators, and kept UM from blowing them out. But again, it’s Michigan Football, and success seems to really scare the Wolverines.

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning1208)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

January 8, 2008

Well, it’s finally over. Or should I say, “Wow! It’s over already?” Another football season is in the books for ol’ J. Zipperton Goshboots III, and now it’s time to talk about it. Pull up a chair; grab a beer, tell the kids not to talk to you for the next half hour, and LET’S DO THIS!!

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning1808)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

January 11, 2008

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2923/larryiq5.jpgHello America, Larry King here. I just want to say that I am not gay, never have been gay, and don’t want to be gay, but hot DAMN, if I have (another) drunken night like I did this past New Year’s Eve and Roger Federer is in the mood??? Well, this whole Golf Channel thing sure hasn’t gotten the legs it needs to. I wonder why there’s no outcry from Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson after the chick at that network said that to beat Tiger Woods, maybe the other golfers need to “lynch him in a back alley somewhere”. WHAT? First, it’s Fuzzy Zoeller and fried chicken and collared greens. Now this? What if one of the male commentators had said that? Funny that this keeps happening to, oh, the ONLY African-American golfer on the tour. Nah, golf isn’t an elitist, “White Males Only” club, why would anyone think that?

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning11108)

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

January 15, 2008

They say, you know, that “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Well, for my money, Vegas can keep the Blue Man Group.

I was channel surfing the other day, and came upon a show of theirs being broadcast on PBS. I sure hope it wasn’t “Pledge Week”, because I will never even think about opening my wallet for that network again if that’s the kind of shit they want me to watch, especially if they want me to give them money so they can air it.


Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning11508)

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With Zip Goshboots

January 17, 2008

When the Governor of a state gets involved with that state’s college football team, you know that state is ass backward. The job of a Governor should be, in part, to calm the masses, even if they are a bunch of black lunged, toothless, meth-laced whiny bitches who are, on the one hand, glad that they have just lost a football coach and replaced him with the lovechild of Howdy Doody and Opie Taylor, yet pissed off that the guy got the fuck out of the shit hole that is West Virginia. A Governor’s job here would be to say something like, “Hey, it’s just football. We (Insert state here) have more to worry about than the football team, and we are thankful the coach was here while he was here, and we wish him the best”. Now, every Governor in the world knows that that is total bullshit, but he still has to say it. And I’m not stretching things a bit here when I say that no political figure in this country has the right to pull out the “morality” card at any time, especially the Rockefellers, a family of insanely crooked politicians and businessmen.


Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning11708)

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With Zip Goshboots

January 19, 2008

Sometimes a man wakes up in the middle of the night, and just can’t get back to sleep. Sometimes a man daydreams for twenty minutes while driving, and instead of ending up at the drug store to purchase a box of tampons for his wife (and what IS it with them? They go through this thing every fucking month for twenty years, and every month it is the husband that must go out and buy tampons at 11:30 P.M. Fuck—I NEVER run out of beer!), he ends up in Traverse City. Sometimes a man is in a job interview, and just when the crucial question of “Why DO you want to work here, Thad?” comes up, he blurts out, “I just want to kill Mark Dantonio because he is trying to steal recruits from Michigan. Do you have a machete?”


Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning11908)

I'm a little dissapointed with the views. I think someone is fucking with the Constitutional. Someone from West Virginia.

I read it, that's for goddamn sure.

I'm a little dissapointed with the views. I think someone is fucking with the Constitutional. Someone from West Virginia.

West Vaginaians can't read.

I don't read it like I should but when I do I laugh my ass off.

The return.


http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

November 3, 2008

What up dickheads?

It’s been an interesting year, has it not? Speaking of Dan Quayle, when did he put on a dress and run for governor of Alaska? Seriously, the possibility, however remote, of a Palin Presidency (unless it’s Michael Palin) has me thinking about moving to Cuba…Anybody else think this is a chance to gauge where America stands with regard to race? Seriously, if there isn’t much difference between McCain and Obama in terms of ideology and which side you vote for, the choices at VP ought to send everyone but the 20 percenters scurrying to the voting booth to make sure Obama wins.


Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning11308)

nice!

http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincpanel/../../pics/toiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

May 6, 2009

Should the Big Ten add Another Team?

In a word: “YES!” In two other words: “Notre Dame!”

It is time for the Big Ten to grow up. The conference is being, nay, has been passed by the SEC, the Big Twelve, and the ACC is nipping at its heels. I speak of course, mostly in a football sense—and face it—football is King. Michigan State basketball just played for the national championship, but I guarantee you that they feel far better about beating Michigan in football for the first time in nearly a decade, and that one victory has given them a confidence in all of their programs, but most notably, a belief that they have passed Michigan up in football for good—and they are gloating all over the place.

College football is almost as big as the NFL, and the recruiting season in college football makes it almost as much of a 365-day sport as the draft, free agency, and coaching carousel makes the NFL. Think may people really care that the ACC is the best basketball conference? Not me. But EVERYBODY is vehemently on one side or the other of the SEC football argument.


Read this complete Morning Constitutional here. (http://www.wtfdetroit.com/index.php?page=morning5609)

Fuckin' A! zip goshboots is too much.

Writing from the heart. You touch me, man.

Writing from the heart. You touch me, man.

He's gonna be on that like stink on shit