Does anyone else here ever get our of control with eating. I swear to GOD everyday I tell myself tomorrow I will start my diet and the next day I never do. Whats even more funny is that when I say I am going to start my diet the next day I eat more because I feel like I need to savor my last bites of great food. Man I wish we could eat whatever we want and not gain weight. I just would like to know anyones eating strategies as far as how they watch what they eat.

I got the same problem as you

Im a lazy motherfucker and would like to get in shape. Im not necessarily overweight but not skinny

I liked how you defined our problem. There should be some sort of word to describe our condition followed with your definition.

SUCH AS

Flazy- In a state of being a lazy motherfucker who would like to get in shape. Not necessarily overweight but not skinny just flazy.

Quit telling yourself that you'll start tomorrow. Start today.

Instead of going hungry, eat more often, but smaller meals. Eat breakfast, lunch, a snack, a small healthy dinner, and a small snack before bed, no more than 5-600 calories per meal.

Getting everything started is the hard part. But when you do it does get easier.

For me, I refuse to miss my workouts. Once you get started you just get into them, they're a part of your day and it feels good to work out and diet.

Work out with a friend. Join a gym if you have to, and make some buddies. Starting out is so much easier if you have somebody else to do it with. After a while, and once you start to see some results, it will be no problem to stick with.

Also, check around the area for stuff to do. Take a martial arts class, join a basketball league etc. Organized athletics are an excellent way to keep in shape and on schedule.

The funny thing about working out is how addictive it gets. It sucks starting out - but once you get in a routine and actually see results, you're hooked - guaranteed. It's actually harder to stop once you're hooked than it is to start. And the nice thing about getting in a tough routine and devoting an hour or two each day to working out is that you can eat whatever the hell you want.

In high school I would work out for basketball and baseball but not really all that intensely. When I got to college, the coaches put me on a much more difficult training routine, and although it sucked at first, after a month or so you feel weak if you don't work out. 5 years later, I'm still hooked.

Going in the morning is the best thing to do also - you will feel better for the whole day.

Find a hot chick that you like to hump constantly. Those extra calories you burn by screwing three or four times a day add up, and you will also be inspired to get in better shape to fend off all the tools that try to talk to her.
Either you want to get in shape to kick their asses, or you want to get in shape so that when you take your clothes off she doesn't barf.
Incidentally, while humping the hot chick, don't let her get on top; that means SHE'S working, and you're not burning the calories. Nope, you do the humping.
Doggie style is best, because you really work your legs. Add your arms in by spanking her. This can help eliminate flab on your triceps.
As for eating, change from drooping chocolate syrup all over her to strawberries, blueberries, and raisins. Less calories, and those things contain more anti oxidants. So, not only are you eating, but you are eating healthy.
A girlfriend on the side helps, because you'll be able to hump someone while your hot chick is on her "time of the month", plus all the extra things, like worrying about getting caught, and trying to balance TWO psychotic bitches will stress you out, making you eat less overall.
If you need anymore advice, just let me know.

I'm weird (but you probably already knew that).

At one point long ago, the girl I thought I was gonna marry dumped me, my metabolism slowed, and I promptly went from skinny to overweight. I lived two blocks walking distance from a gym that many hot women went to. I worked out an hour a day, 5-6 days/week or so, for over a year. I never got an endorphin rush or exercise high (though I did get a date). I never felt anything other than typical feelings of relief when I stopped exercising. And I never lost much weight beyond just water weight. The only thing that caused me to lose some weight was contracting mono, (no) thanks to another ex-gf.

I think I inherited my weirdness. My dad has my build and my issues, and he's said that exercise has never done squat for him as an adult. His weight gain came as he was working construction where he would've expected anything -but-. The only thing that caused him to lose a lot of weight just recently was a long illness (he's fine now).

I actually eat mostly-healthy foods -- not too terribly much junk food, and the closest thing I have to a sweet tooth is a weakness for Mountain Dew. I walk a couple miles a day 5-6 days/week. I need to lose some weight, but I have a job that fucks my time something fierce. I rarely have 20 minutes to get a standing heart rate up, and it's way way way too easy for me to sit at a tube and work 12+ hours straight.

Bleah.

I have the opposite problem, cant gain weight. Like at one point a few years ago I was 120 pounds even though I ate healthy, and Im a tad under 6 feet tall. Instead of low calories, I eat about 5,000 a day just to hold weight which is about 150 now but I havent been working out. But either way, the advice people have given you is correct. I have to do the same thing to keep my weight up, which is develop a workout routine and stick to it. luniz is right too about eating more frequent smaller meals. 5 meals a day is good, and muching on stuff throughout the day is alright if its healthy stuff. Maybe there are some fruits or veggies you like a lot for daytime snacking. I just saw something on TV that made an interesting point, people who eat the same breakfast every day keep weight off easier. So for some reason its bad to get your metabolism started with different food every day. My roommate lost 100 lbs by eating just bacon and pepperoni pizza for a year, I wouldnt recommend it but thats his diet when he wants to lose weight and he swears by it.

UxKa, you're roomate is a fucking genius. Pizza and bacon could only be topped by pizza, bacon, and McDonalds.
It's further proof that it's probabl not what you eat, but how much, when, and whether or not you get any exercise. Also, some people just don't have good genetics.

One more piece of advice. Buy a MP3 player. Nothing like getting on the bike and jamming to your favorite tunes.

UxKA, you have a metabolism like my buddy. He can't keep weight on. I gained 5 pounds over the holidays, he lost 5 from not lifting. I've said I would love to have his metabolism but he hates it as much as I hate having to watch my weight gain.

I can agree with your friend about hating my metabolism, but I dont think I would want to switch. If I slack for a couple days with eating (its really hard to get 5k calories a day) I drop a couple pounds.

5,000 calories a day?
Have you considered eating your roommate?

Does anyone else here ever get our of control with eating. I swear to GOD everyday I tell myself tomorrow I will start my diet and the next day I never do. Whats even more funny is that when I say I am going to start my diet the next day I eat more because I feel like I need to savor my last bites of great food. Man I wish we could eat whatever we want and not gain weight. I just would like to know anyones eating strategies as far as how they watch what they eat.

LOL. My classic is to eat as much as humanly possible on Sunday and then start my diet on Monday. That went on for a few years. I actually started eating healthy on Jan 2nd and have lost 7 lbs so far in 13 days. I'm not obese. I'm at 175 lbs but would like to lose some weight and get in shape. Just stick to eating Turkey/Chicken sandwiches, peanuts, fruit, oatmeal and about 20 mins on a bike whenever you get a chance too. Also, only drink water. No coke or diet coke.

Don't sign up for a gym because chances are that you will never go. Go buy a $200 stationary bike at Sears and put in an extra room where their is a tv and watch/peddle for 20-30 mins.

Gusman I feel your pain, Wed is my target start date for getting in shape, I broke a few ribs and they are feeling a lot better, so it delayed my new years resolution. I have a full gym in my basement, and still can't get motivated. Plus I let little stuff get in the way or do too much and burn myself out.

I have told myself I will get in the best shape of my life. I hope it happens.

I agree on the bike, MikeMyers. Biking is the best way to burn calories, and you can do it while watching a movie. Just don't make it a slow, gentle pace. Make sure when you're finished, you're sweating... a lot. Like MM said, you can just buy a good bike and it will help a ton.

Lifting will also help lose weight, especially when combined with cardio. But take baby steps. Once you get a good biking routine going, look at a gym membership.

Don't sign up for a gym because chances are that you will never go. Go buy a $200 stationary bike at Sears and put in an extra room where their is a tv and watch/peddle for 20-30 mins.He's probably just as likely to fold up that bike and leave it in the basement after 2 weeks. If you're really serious about keeping in shape, then you're probably going to need to get yourself around some serious people. Just having a single workout buddy will keep you ridiculously motivated (and a gym is a prime place to get these, as well as some great help with nutrition from the pros there). It's just going to be tough for most people to keep up with something when all they do is sit in their spare room and ride their stationary. I think it's a big reason why I've stayed in shape for years and you've been on and off diets.

I'm not knocking the bike idea though, I have one and ride it here and there. They're fantastic but to expect a guy to give up everything but water and chicken, and regularly ride a bike in his house out of nowhere is tough. Tougher than it is for him to just drive his ass to the nearest gym 2 or 3 times a week.

If I were you, I'd look into martial arts, specifically grappling (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Sambo, and Judo to name a few). They're easier to get into, and generally easier on the body. 30 minutes of rolling in a BJJ class will make the calories you'd burn riding a bike look silly, and you'd work out a whole lot more than your lower body.

Smoke weed.

One thing that can help is to take up cooking. At home, you won't dump the kind of garbage that goes into processed foods and you'll probably find that you don't end up eating the monster-sized portions you normally get when eating out. It doesn't have to be "health food" either, no matter what you're into it will probably be better for you homemade.

In general, diets suck. Any time you put yourself on restriction it's going to hang over you and build up to the point where you rebel against it. I like the idea of coming at it from the angle of inclusion rather than restriction. That is, find new things that aren't so bad and start including them without making anything "forbidden." You're only going to eat so many meals a day, every time you include something good for you it's pushing something bad out by default without feeling like you're punishing yourself.

Another good tip is if you drink pop, reduce or ditch it. The stuff is liquid candy with no redeeming value at all--and it has as much or more calories than most beer. If that happens to be a regular thing for you, you'll be amazed how quickly some pounds fall off when you reduce/eliminate the pop habit.

^^^^

Cooking at home is a great idea, and that doesnt mean anything prepackaged or frozen. A while back I really got into label reading, and it pretty much disgusted me out of eating prepackaged food (except bagel bites, love those things). Sodium and fat calories are insanely high in those foods, as well as fast food. Its real easy to chop a couple veggies and some chicken and fry it all up, or throw something on the grill and bake a potato.

welp guys I have started my quest to become in better shape. I am back on the atkins full force and in the induction phase, this is my second go around with this diet. It worked last time, I was at 300 pounds and got down to 209. Right now I am at 245 so I am hoping to get to 225 by march 2 because I am going to florida for spring break. I bought a membership at the gym and ran for 10 minutes biked for 10 minutes today. I am going back to the doctor tomorrow to get my blood tested so I can go on accutane. My acne never seems to go completely away so I decided to try accutane.

Lifestyle change. Atkins is more of a fad plus eating bacon/beef etc... is not too healthy. Just reduce your calorie intake each day.

Yeah if you read more into Atkins its not the best. I have two points about it... First, its not healthy. It is specifically depriving your body of a need so it eats itself in other areas to provide energy and nutrients. Second, there was a study done on Atkins vs healthy/low fat diets, and Atkins gave the quicker weight loss but healthy eating and Atkins were even after six months. Atkins is also more likely to have the weight come back. Youre better off not aiming for a date (spring break), doing the body good, and allowing it to naturally lose the weight. In the long run (next years spring break) you will be better off.

Yeah, I have to agree with UxKa. Just start eating healthier, don't go on those diets that gain you weight back so you have to come back. On a healthy diet, you can keep eating the same without help and be healthier in the long run, as well.

Fuck it all. Drink plenty of beer, eat at McDonalds three times a day, and take up smoking. You'll probably outlive everyone who has a fucking heart attack while jogging.

I found that having a buddy that went to the gym with me actually hindered my going to the gym. If they cancelled I would just put it off, whereas when i worked out like crazy I would just go whenever I felt like it... because I had a 24 hour gym membership which is really nice because it gives you opportunity to go whenever. I know that it's hard to get to the gym sometimes with schedule and now with the cold well at least in MI, it's just easier to do it in your own home. So find something you kind of like and just go with it! I actually found that I gained weight eating a bunch of small meals regardless of calories and that my body reacted better to one big meal a day.. and if needed a small snack or two..

Smoke weed.

Should definately help weight gain.

one thing you might consider is working out with some sort of motivating factor besides just looking slimmer. i mean, something like sports or another physical activity.

i think it's easier to workout when you're trying to get back into basketball shape, or you're taking up rock climbing, or you want to run in an upcoming marathon, etc.

with regards to food, start with your grocery shopping and your fridge. go grocery shopping when you're NOT hungry and stock up with healthy snacks and sweet fruits. don't have too many temptations on hand.

also, most importantly IMO, don't go cold turkey on some guilty pleasures. if you absolutely love chocolate chip cookies......don't try to give them up forever. if you relapse and have a little binge (likely when you're giving up some guilt ridden snack), you'll get down on yourself and get discouraged. try rewarding yourself once a week with a few cookies if you keep up with good nutrition. go ahead and go to Mcdonalds once a month if you stick to your workout schedule for three weeks. i really don't think that those "bad" things will kill you or hurt you as long as you're resposible with them.

it's all about positive reinforcement and goals :D

i think drinking 10+ beers a day in college perma fucked my metabolism. i swim a mile day, try to eat healthy, and drink way less beer and pop than i used to, and i still cant get down to my ideal weight. although i'll admit i'll be good for a month, and then i'll get lazy, take it easy, and then pick it up again, so maybe it isnt just my metabolism's fault.

ps. any health experts here? i've heard nicotine and caffeine can boost your metabolism. im 90 % sure its actually the opposite, and i would never pick up cigarettes to drop 5 LBs, but i could definitly start pounding black coffee.

i'm no nutrition expert, but i've heard that cigarettes and coffee can suppress your appetite, which could lead to some kind of weight loss.

I smoke about two packs a day and eat like a pig, so I dunno about that. I did eat more (constantly) the last time I quit, but it was just the oral fixation thing.

You can solve the problem by eating your cigarettes.

ps. any health experts here? i've heard nicotine and caffeine can boost your metabolism. im 90 % sure its actually the opposite, and i would never pick up cigarettes to drop 5 LBs, but i could definitly start pounding black coffee.
I'm emphatically -not- a health expert. So, take FWIW:

Caffeine makes you -feel- less tired (though it doesn't actually do anything about most fatigue poisons that accumulate in your body). The way in which it makes you feel less tired largely involves suppressing adenosine, a drug that does lots of things like trigger sleep, repair tissue, etc. The lack of adenosine leads to your body producing extra dopamine, a stimulant that makes you feel good when you get the gold star on your forehead for having done something right. Caffeine fakes your brain into producing the stimulating effect. It's not so much a "stimulant" as a "depressant-suppressor", though there's not much of a difference in practical terms. What happens over time is, due to the lack of adenosine owing to caffeine, you become more sensitive to it when it does crop up and the stimulant effect is reduced. Depending on your specific tolerances and the timings since you last consumed caffeine, it could either be perceived as boosting or crashing your metabolism.

one thing that happens is you *think* you're only eating so many calories but if you look at it accurately you're not. logging your food in fitday.com can help with this tremendously. in fact besides ditching the daily mountain dews and 3 times a week #6 meals at wendy's tracking everything i ate for 2 months on fitday was the main reason i was able to go from 220lbs to 155lbs in under a year. since then i've added about 15lbs of muscle and gradually lowered my bodyfat to around 13%.

i find i had to go to the gym to exercise. there are simply too many distractions at home. once going to the gym becomes routine you will be unhappy if you miss it.

and if all you ever do for fat loss is cardio, you are hurting yourself. studies prove that long bouts of steady state low intensity cardio eat away at your lean body mass, which reduces your base metabolism and leads to "skinny-fat syndrome". whereas lifting moderately heavy weights in compound exercises (squat, deadlift, bench, pullups, etc) will up your metabolism for something like 24 hours. to get even more benefit, keep your rest periods between sets to 60 seconds or less. and if you don't keep making your workouts more difficult; either by adding weight, reps, doing them faster or changing the exercises, you will gain nothing. your body will adapt to what you do and you must constantly challenge it in order to force it to change.

How many calories can I burn by laying on my couch and farting?

How many calories can I burn by laying on my couch and farting?

stick a lighter by your crack and you'll be burning more than calories......

Hey! Good idea! Maybe douse my asshole with gasoline first?

How many calories can I burn by laying on my couch and farting?
http://ca.askmen.com/sports/foodcourt_100/143_eating_well.html?RSS

I heard that farting burns off as many as 67 calories per fart. The one with the stronger odors burn off more, because you can actually feel the heat as the calories burn. You also lose as many as 140 calories when you defacate. I enjoy doing both, and I am really thin because of simply engaging in these two activities that I intenseley enjoy. I also have a tape worm that helps me stay thin. Some times he peeks his tiny head out of my rectum to say, hello, but I push him back in to do his job. I can eat more and stay extremely thin because of my tape worm, whom enjoys most of the food I ingest as much as I do. He takes up at least 60% of the calories I take in, and I highly reccommend getting your own tape worm to help you maintain or lose stubborn weight.

Fuck John Basedow!
I want "Fitness With Moxy"--I hope you don't mind the insertion of the "O" in there for marketing purposes.
I can see it now: The video starts off with you eating some raw pork, ingesting some sewer water, and sitting back to let the "Secret Moxy Weightloss Plan" kick in.
It TRULY is the first ever "No exercise, eat all you want, fart like hell, and stay thin" diet ever!
I'm calling Oprah as soon as I get off the shitter.

I did the same thing luniz. I made a spreadsheet with the nutritional label info for all the foods I eat and used that to see what I was eating. I made it so I could just put a number next to each food item for a day and it added everything at the top, then gave the remainder of each thing I needed. It really does help you to see where you are at on a given day, and even to plan out a day if you feel inclined to do so. I got so bored with it after a while I even put in different kinds of beer and liquer to see if a few beers would get me where I need to be lol

does anyone here think that there will be a pill that actually makes you lose weight safely that will come out within the next 40 years? and if there was such a pill could they release it?

Its called Viagra haha

does anyone here think that there will be a pill that actually makes you lose weight safely that will come out within the next 40 years? and if there was such a pill could they release it?
Yes. No.

just wanted to share that i ate a half a small tub of Ben and Jerry's Vermonty Python ice cream. coffee ice cream with cookies and chocolate pieces. freaking delicious and so bad for me, lol. man, i love food too much to starve myself.

http://www.icecreamsource.com/images/MicroDaries/B&J/Ice%20Cream/Vermonty%20Python.gif

I'm about to eat some good ol' fashioned vanilla ice cream with a huge piece of choclolate fudge cake. Then I'm going to bed.