http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/11/30/national/main2217850.shtml

Gator Attacks Naked Man On Crack


A 45-year-old man was hospitalized after four sheriff's deputies rescued him from the jaws of a nearly 12-foot alligator Wednesday, while he was naked and high on crack cocaine.

The Polk County deputies were responding to multiple calls about a man yelling for help at about 4 a.m. They could not shoot the animal because it was too dark and they might have hit the victim or one another, the sheriff's office said.

Adrian J. Apgar was taken to the hospital in critical condition with an apparent broken right arm, leg injuries and his left arm hanging by a tendon. Hospital officials did not immediately release information about his condition.

"It is an incredibly bacteria-filled environment that he was exposed to," Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said.

It was not clear why Apgar was in the lake. Judd said Apgar was naked and told deputies he had been smoking crack.

The deputies — Michael Parker, Billy Osborne, David Clements and Sgt. Andrew Williams — carried Apgar about 40 feet, up a steep incline and to an ambulance ashore. None of the four was injured in the gator-infested waters.

"I remember him saying, 'I'm over here, get here quick, he's still got me, he's going to kill me, my arms are broken,"' Parker said.

The deputies' boots sunk in mud with each step they took, and the water lapped chest-high on some. It took several efforts to get the 6-foot-1, 250-pound man out of the water even after the gator let loose because they were exhausted. They had to find the man by sound, through thick brush and cattails in the middle of the night.

How'd you spend your weekend?

Man getting attacked by Gator doesn't cut it.

Man on crack getting attacked by Gator doesn't cut it.

But...

NAKED man on crack getting attacked by Gator is fucking perfect.

I think that in Florida there are some interesting ways to attract chicks.
One is to cry to get your team into a bowl game, and the other is to show them the alligator teeth marks on your dong.

Any word whether Meyer told the Gator to attack this guy?

Punch the gator in the nose?!

http://www.tampabays10.com/news/specials/popular/article.aspx?s=popular&storyid=44840


Lakeland, Florida - It was about 4 o'clock in the morning when a neighbor on United Drive heard someone calling for help. That's when Carlos Mayid dialed 911,”"There's a guy screaming bloody murder here in front of the Moose Lodge. He's screaming, help, help, help, help.”

As Carlos walked closer to the screams he realized what was happening, "A gator's got him, a gator's got him. Oh Crap."

The victim was 45-year-old Adrian Apgar, he told authorities he was naked and smoking crack when he was attacked by a gator in Lake Parker, "Help's on the way, help's on the way. Hang on a minute".

The nearly 12-foot long gator was more than 500 pounds, "What's it got your leg? Your arm? Your arm. Got his arm."

The dispatcher tried giving Carlos and the victim advice.

(Dispatcher) "If you punch him in the nose it may let him go."

(Mayid) "Hey try to punch him in the nose, it may let you go."

(Apgar) "Too big."

(Mayid) "Too big."

(Mayid) He says he needs a gun.

Help finally arrives, "All right they're here."

Neighbors like Kevin Piper say there haven't been as many people to the park since the attack, but they're not worried about the gators, ”You're just careful that's their home, going into their territory so you just want to be careful.”

Now Carlos didn't dare go into the water because it was so dark, so he let deputies handle the situation. Meanwhile the gator was later trapped and destroyed.

Apgar was transported to the hospital in critical condition with an apparent broken right arm, partially amputated left arm and major trauma to his left upper leg.

I never really understand why they kill the animal after these things. It wasn't like the gator figured out how to escape wherever it was and was a threat to normal society (and in those cases, why don't they just move the animal). If anything, kill the idots that can't figure out how not to be attacked by gators. Clearly there's a flaw in their genes that needs to be weeded out.

Any time people and wild animals cross paths it's probably going to end badly for one or both. After an attack a lot of animals that naturally fear humans will lose that fear and become more likely to have future run-ins with people so it's generally for the best to put the animal down.

Of course the misguided "animal lovers" who feed wild animals and people who don't secure their garbage are just as bad as naked crackheads (just can't type that phrase without giggling) when it comes to setting up bad human-animal encounters that lead to a death sentence for the animal.

Yeah, I guess my feeling is just that the animal's fear of humans isn't really the crux of our being safe from it.

I can understand how putting it down is the easiest way to deal with it, is the most precautious as to future incidents, and in some ways might be more humane than moving the animal to an unfamiliar location (and avoiding all the problems that introducing an animal to a foreign habitat might lead to).

Just sucks for the beast that was just doing its thing.