It is a true artform. In the office setting that I work in it can be tough, so you need to be creative. There is the obvious way that I am currently using as I write this, and that would be dickin' around on the internet. But what I'm lookin for is the more creative way to murder 10 to 20 minutes. I'll give examples of some of my favorites;

walking to the breakroom and walking back for no apparent reason

trying to name all 50 states (pen and paper required)

figuring out what winning percentage the Tigers need from here out on to make the playoffs

pinch a loaf

trying to name every major sport team (pen and paper required)

shredding random documents

walking from one end of the office to the other just to see if anyone will notice

There are a few others, but I was just curious what other people did to make the day go by.

Sometimes in the car I will think of a number and try and think up as many guys who wore that number as I can.

#6
Steve Garvey
Al Kaline
Dr. J
Terry Mills

You get the idea.

It is a true artform. In the office setting that I work in it can be tough, so you need to be creative. There is the obvious way that I am currently using as I write this, and that would be dickin' around on the internet. But what I'm lookin for is the more creative way to murder 10 to 20 minutes. I'll give examples of some of my favorites;

walking to the breakroom and walking back for no apparent reason

trying to name all 50 states (pen and paper required)

figuring out what winning percentage the Tigers need from here out on to make the playoffs

pinch a loaf

trying to name every major sport team (pen and paper required)

shredding random documents

walking from one end of the office to the other just to see if anyone will notice

There are a few others, but I was just curious what other people did to make the day go by.

I have done that many a time. Let me tell you, it's definitely not an easy thing. You have to remember just how many teams there are in each league, and then there will always be one or two that you can't remember... but once you figure them out you're furious you could forget that one.

You know what's a good time waster - pooping.

Make sure you have nice enough facilities for this act of procrastination.

www.isketch.net

(The following strategies are excerpted with permission from the upcoming "How To Work Less and Drink More: Surviving In the Modern Office Culture" by Vinny Marley. Mr. Marley culled this material from nearly three full years spent working in an office before he finally couldn't take it anymore and got a job in a bar. All rights remain reserved.)

The key to wasting office time is getting your ass out of the office -- that way you can do whatever the heck you want.

The easiest way is to take up smoking. Most offices, you can get away with up to 5 smoke breaks a day without anyone getting too upset about it -- maybe more, if your boss/supervisor smokes. If you're not prepared to take on some of the health risks (supposedly) associated with smoking, you can still take advantage. Just make friends with a couple of people who smoke, and head out with them every time they break. You can shoot the shit, look at the ladies, even just stare at the clouds -- it beats sitting at your desk, right?

Depending on what floor your office is on, an average smoke break takes about 15 minutes between elevator rides, waiting for stragglers, actual smoking, etc.. If you do 5 a day, that's 75 minutes a day, over 6 hours a week, and over 325 hours a year. You only get 2 weeks vacation you say? Take up smoking, you'll add over 8 40 hour weeks worth of time off to the tally.



Another convenient strategy is the good old-fashioned double lunch. Brilliant in it's simplicity, the double lunch can gain you up to an hour a day to do as you will with. The key is, you need a supervisor who goes out to lunch most every day. How does it work? Let's say your boss is going to lunch at high noon. You let it be known that you have some important stuff to finish, and you're not really sure when you'll be able to make it out. Then, you wait precisely 4 minutes (no less, and I can't emphasize this enough. You don't want to end up in the same elevator.) and head off to lunch yourself. When your supervisor comes back an hour later, they just assume you must have just left (you had that important work to finish, remember? For a nice touch, take some random work you may have done recently and leave it on their desk on you're way out. This will eliminate any suspicion altogether). When you come back an hour and 56 minutes later, you'll be refreshed and recharged, more than prepared to handle the 63 minutes until your next smoke break.



A third strategy is much more complicated to pull off, but can be essential to those younger folks who like to go out nights during the week. It takes careful planning, strict attention to detail and, most importantly, a partner you can trust. Many people shy away as soon as they hear the word "partner" but trust me, if you can pull it off, it's worth it.

You and your partner set up a schedule and take turns about twice a week: One of you comes in 15 minutes early. Wait a minute, you say, how is this helping me kill time? Well, the payoff is that in exchange for that 15 minutes, you get 1, 2, even 3 hours when it's your partner's turn later in the week.

Let's say it's Thursday morning and it's your partner "Bob's" turn to come in early. Bob gets there 15 minutes early, before there are too many people around and proceeds directly to your desk. He opens a few important looking files, spreads a few papers around and sends out a few e-mails. If it's the winter months, he grabs an extra jacket that you guys leave there and throws it on the back of your chair and then goes and grabs a half a cup of coffee and leaves it on your desk to complete the illusion. Then, within reason, you can come in pretty much whenever you want -- perfect for sleeping off that nasty hangover.

You should start out slow until the kinks are all worked out, say no more than an hour for the first month, but once you get going, you'll be coming in at 1:00 before you know it. Hell, if you're creative enough, you can even go after my own personal record: When I had a real good partner pack in '99, I missed three consecutive entire Friday's without anyone being the wiser.

Wow, that would have made a great WTF Front Page article, lol.

(The following strategies are excerpted with permission from the upcoming "How To Work Less and Drink More: Surviving In the Modern Office Culture" by Vinny Marley. Mr. Marley culled this material from nearly three full years spent working in an office before he finally couldn't take it anymore and got a job in a bar. All rights remain reserved.)

The key to wasting office time is getting your ass out of the office -- that way you can do whatever the heck you want.

The easiest way is to take up smoking. Most offices, you can get away with up to 5 smoke breaks a day without anyone getting too upset about it -- maybe more, if your boss/supervisor smokes. If you're not prepared to take on some of the health risks (supposedly) associated with smoking, you can still take advantage. Just make friends with a couple of people who smoke, and head out with them every time they break. You can shoot the shit, look at the ladies, even just stare at the clouds -- it beats sitting at your desk, right?

Depending on what floor your office is on, an average smoke break takes about 15 minutes between elevator rides, waiting for stragglers, actual smoking, etc.. If you do 5 a day, that's 75 minutes a day, over 6 hours a week, and over 325 hours a year. You only get 2 weeks vacation you say? Take up smoking, you'll add over 8 40 hour weeks worth of time off to the tally.



Another convenient strategy is the good old-fashioned double lunch. Brilliant in it's simplicity, the double lunch can gain you up to an hour a day to do as you will with. The key is, you need a supervisor who goes out to lunch most every day. How does it work? Let's say your boss is going to lunch at high noon. You let it be known that you have some important stuff to finish, and you're not really sure when you'll be able to make it out. Then, you wait precisely 4 minutes (no less, and I can't emphasize this enough. You don't want to end up in the same elevator.) and head off to lunch yourself. When your supervisor comes back an hour later, they just assume you must have just left (you had that important work to finish, remember? For a nice touch, take some random work you may have done recently and leave it on their desk on you're way out. This will eliminate any suspicion altogether). When you come back an hour and 56 minutes later, you'll be refreshed and recharged, more than prepared to handle the 63 minutes until your next smoke break.



A third strategy is much more complicated to pull off, but can be essential to those younger folks who like to go out nights during the week. It takes careful planning, strict attention to detail and, most importantly, a partner you can trust. Many people shy away as soon as they hear the word "partner" but trust me, if you can pull it off, it's worth it.

You and your partner set up a schedule and take turns about twice a week: One of you comes in 15 minutes early. Wait a minute, you say, how is this helping me kill time? Well, the payoff is that in exchange for that 15 minutes, you get 1, 2, even 3 hours when it's your partner's turn later in the week.

Let's say it's Thursday morning and it's your partner "Bob's" turn to come in early. Bob gets there 15 minutes early, before there are too many people around and proceeds directly to your desk. He opens a few important looking files, spreads a few papers around and sends out a few e-mails. If it's the winter months, he grabs an extra jacket that you guys leave there and throws it on the back of your chair and then goes and grabs a half a cup of coffee and leaves it on your desk to complete the illusion. Then, within reason, you can come in pretty much whenever you want -- perfect for sleeping off that nasty hangover.

You should start out slow until the kinks are all worked out, say no more than an hour for the first month, but once you get going, you'll be coming in at 1:00 before you know it. Hell, if you're creative enough, you can even go after my own personal record: When I had a real good partner pack in '99, I missed three consecutive entire Friday's without anyone being the wiser.

WOW.

I can't wait to read the rest of the book. (Meaning post some more!)

pinch a loaf

[smilie=rofl.gif] This made me laugh my ass off for some reason


trying to name every major sport team (pen and paper required)

I would do this in my 4th hour class during senior year of high school.

I got the NBA & NFL and then some MLB and NHL. When you got a jackass talking to ya for an hour it's hard to think. :cool:

Me and a buddy used to pick a topic, Heisman winners, #1 overall draft picks, WS winners, for the day, and go back as far as we could...That killed time.

Sometimes I make a mental list (in priority order) of what female co-workers that I would like to see nekked.

Works best if you work with a lot of womens, and not in a place like a mechanics or Foot Locker.

Sometimes I make a mental list (in priority order) of what female co-workers that I would like to see nekked.

Works best if you work with a lot of womens, and not in a place like a mechanics or Foot Locker.

Forwarded to Glenn's wife at MrsGlennDanzig@internetsensation.net. Awaiting reply........[smilie=blaha.gif]

LOL

Just good clean fun. Killing time at work is something I could write a thesis on, as most people here with 1,000 posts or more probably can.

Vinny's got the best shit so far, no question.

Sometimes I make a mental list (in priority order) of what female co-workers that I would like to see nekked.

Works best if you work with a lot of womens, and not in a place like a mechanics or Foot Locker.

I can vouch for the good-lookingness of some of the women. Back when I remembered what your company's web site was, I almost applied as office pimp.

pinch a loaf

[smilie=rofl.gif] This made me laugh my ass off for some reason


Why is pooping so much fun? I actually look forward to it. Just grab the latest issue of The Wolverine and bomb the harbor. Great stuff.

Is anyone else like me where you won't read at any other time, but when you're "dropping a deuce" you'll sit on the throne for like 20 minutes? I love it.

.......[smilie=anxious.gif]




Anyways, you can watch this music video and have a Seizure
warning: bad rap music

http://grouper.com/video/./Preview.ashx?id=964588&ie=1&ap=1&t=1.wmv

Vinny's post was a classic.

Put that on the front page pronto.

Unfortunately I don't have any good answers. I work at work and post at home. I've got no time for lazy motherfuckers who are always watching the clock or going outside for a smoke.

I'm a smoker and you don't see me going outside every hour on the hour. Sit your punk ass down and finish your work. Smoke on your own time. You get 2 "short" breaks and lunch, smoke your ass off then - I do.

bump

I just spent the last half hour or so going around my office sniffing and saying, "smells like updog over here". Random co-worker replies "what's updog?". I then say, "not much what's up with you?"

it's funny in person, give it a try....good clean fun to get me through the day

Try renting movies from the Library and watching them with the volume down low (or with ear buds if you can)

Killing time at work:


wtfdetroit.com

walking from one end of the office to the other just to see if anyone will notice



I haven't worked in an office for years but when walking from one end of the building to the other, ALWAYS carry somthing that looks important. Sometimes 1 piece of paper can do if its some printed report. It works great if you run into a couple of higher-ups cause you can immediately look down at the paper as if you are studying/working while you walk. They'll leave you alone.

bump

just spent the last half hour touring Alaska on Google Earth

...just spent the last half hour reading posts like yours, waiting for the paint to dry.

http://img105.imageshack.us/img105/6228/wizzlesfault.jpg

dude, what the hell are you working on there?

Denny did a good job photoshopping out the gay porn on his monitor.

Denny did a good job photoshopping out the gay porn on his monitor.

LOL you fucker. Wizzle's posts are wordy and excessive... and thus offer complete coverage of gay pron.

It's a painting, but only about 25% complete (background + base colors).

Denny, whether it be building a house or painting a picture, we update our projects around here with pictures.

http://blog.kir.com/archives/images/gavel.JPG

AoW