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Timone
01-13-2012, 04:16 PM
The thing is, I work hard as hell everyday, don't really like my job but have pride in everything I do. Even if I cleaned toilets for a living, you better believe that I would try to be the best toilet cleaner in the world. I support a family on one income, and my wife will stay at home till the kid is at least 3. I sleep 6 hours a day, every day. I get up an hour earlier than I have to to make breakfast for my family. I know how to shake hands - look into a mans eyes and pump once with a firm grip. I don't show my teeth when I smile, it's a sign of weakness. I know how to apologize. I know how to look at a situation from another perspective. I am a son, a husband, and a father, therefore I respect women; deal with it. Memories don't haunt me, nor do I dwell on them - they can destroy you.

Timone
01-13-2012, 04:24 PM
Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

Vinny
01-13-2012, 04:34 PM
Still need that Bukdow forum.

Timone
01-14-2012, 06:42 PM
LITERALLY LAUGHING TO DEATH

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.

along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

Glenn
01-14-2012, 07:31 PM
That's the kind of thing that's pretty funny as it stands, but I can see network execs trying to turn it into a sitcom and ruining it.

See: Geico cavemen

Timone
01-14-2012, 08:13 PM
That's the kind of thing that's pretty funny as it stands, but I can see network execs trying to turn it into a sitcom and ruining it.

See: Geico cavemen

Bad feeling we'll be seeing an NBC show based off DadBoner soon.

Actually, that could be awesome.

DrRay11
01-15-2012, 11:32 AM
Bad feeling we'll be seeing an NBC show based off DadBoner soon.

Actually, that could be awesome.

As long as they get that Bruce guy who was the original.

Pharaoh
01-17-2012, 07:51 PM
LMAO @ The M&M story - I had tears! That's fucking gold! I'm going to email it to the boys.

Timone
01-18-2012, 07:41 PM
Today was a day that will forever be the climax of my life, at this point, nothing could get any better. That little cunt is going to get it, him and his fucking family. They are all going to die. ALL OF THEM, ESPECIALLY THE FUCKING CHILDREN.
You see, it started one day, and I was at the fresh young age of 12, the first day I ever saw him. He looked friendly at first, but little did I know that that exact day I had met the devil himself, just in a childish form. He asked for my name, and I said my name, which is Caleb. And almost as soon as he heard my name, he yelled out (let me tell you that this was inside of a school) "Hey, everybody! It's Caleb the Cunt-Sucker!" Everyone laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Even the teachers were laughing. It was degrading, it was down right.....damning. It continued thought the rest of my years in school, and I even went as far as almost committing suicide.
After I got out of school, I got a job at a local garage. It wasn't the cleanest, or well-paying of jobs, but it got me threw. I had to stay at home, I hardly had any money, let alone have money to pay for a house. One day, I was driving back home, and I saw him. And not only did he have a perfect house and a perfect car, he had a family. A picture-perfect family. I snapped that day, and when I got home, I started planning his downfall.
Now, today was the day, the day that I would for fill my dream of killing all of them. I will be back later to tell you the result. And I will finally tell the brutal death of those fucking maggots.

Glenn
01-18-2012, 07:43 PM
threw

Timone
01-18-2012, 07:48 PM
ESPECIALLY THE FUCKING CHILDREN

Timone
01-18-2012, 07:55 PM
My retarded ass gave myself genital herpes. I hate myself and think the world should take some time out and cap my sorry ass. Wanna know how I did it? I went out to a club. But before was sure to clear my lips of all outbreak. I got totally ****faced at the club and got home. I met no women, because I'm a straight loser so I decided to crank up the computer and look at some online porn. I also thought it'd be a good idea to throw some chewing tobacco in my mouth before hand. Well needless to say I didn't even think to wash my hands before self-indulgence. The next day I felt a burning sensation on my dick and looked at it later that night. Nothing, next day though I took another look I have five little tiny zits right where I place my index finger on penis when I whack it. Good thing I used my index finger to pull my lip out to throw a dip in. Now I'm just a total ****ing loser. Balding, with herpes and without a single friend. I am truly an island. I even know who I got herpes from...myself. I just wanna die. I've never had a real girlfriend and if I ever end up with one I'll be scraping the bottom of the barrel. I've thought about putting out a personals add. BALDING WITH HERPES SEEKS GIRL WITH PULSE. I wanna shrivel up into nothing in a world with no one, this plague has made me twenty times shier and than I already was. Please freeze me until a cure is here and I have enough money for some hair plugs. ****, its wasn't so bad when you could say looks don't count. Now I'm just a washed up piece of ****.

Timone
01-18-2012, 08:08 PM
Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait".

So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game.

A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny pokemon have less than a 1/1000 chance of appearing). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny pidgey, gone forever.

I start screaming every obscenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn't know she was behind me, and apparently I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears.

What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be responsible for ruining my best relationship ever.

Timone
01-18-2012, 08:22 PM
So we're in this nasty recession. Normal, everyday Americans are struggling to get by. People aren't making enough money to do the things they want.

HOW DO WE SOLVE THIS?

I believe the answer is simple: raise the minimum wage to $50/hour.

Now I know that some of you Neanderthalic, knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers might object to this. But if you do then you're either a flat-out MORON or a corporate shill. Look at the facts:

(1) People don't have a lot of money
(2) If the minimum wage is increased to $50/hour, these people will have more money

It's that fucking simple, fucking idiots. I can't believe I have to explain this shit to you fucking Jesus-loving, Fox-watching, racist, xenophobic, gun-toting jingoists. People who own and run businesses are rich assholes, and it's time we gave them a big "fuck you" for having money by taking it from their greedy hands and giving it to the people who need it.

Any conservatard that tries to argue with this is just upset that under this plan we'd be giving blacks and other minorities the money previously being hoarded by greedy white capitalist corporatist fucks. Racists.

Probably the last one. Having a hard time finding stuff worth posting.

I should have known it'd all be downhill after the M&M story.

Tahoe
01-18-2012, 08:39 PM
I like Chicken and Pasta better than Copy and Pasta.

Timone
01-18-2012, 08:41 PM
I like Pastamania, myself:
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/pastamania.jpg

Timone
03-28-2012, 06:54 AM
Must have been the work of Comrade:

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your little miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.”

Vinny
03-28-2012, 08:40 AM
Go Go Gorillas.

Timone
03-30-2012, 03:17 PM
you feel like punching me in the face? bring it on you ***got. I know multiple fighting styles, and I also carry a switchblade with me at all times. Something ****ing tells me that you'd be better off keeping your arms down at your sides. If you can't ****ing put "cause" and "effect" together in that pathetic brain of yours, I'll help you out here. You'll be standing face to face with me, and let me ****ing tell you, it'll already be too ****ing late to back down at that point. You might decide "well ****, I might as well stay true to my word and throw a ****ing punch". This is where you will go wrong. I hope you don't have a job that requires two ****ing hands, because you're going to be missing one after I'm done with you. I'll casually divert your fist off to the side, as you suddenly realize you may have gotten yourself into something you can't back up. You'll try to regroup and pull your arm back, but that wont be easy when I jab my spear-pointed Benchmade switchblade straight through the bone in your forearm, and proceed to rip your entire ****ing forearm and hand off in one quick pull. At this point, you'll probably spend 2 seconds in shock. I say 2 seconds, because thats the amount of time you'll have before I reverse the knife in my hand, and uppercut it straight through your throat. You'll spend your last few seconds gurgling blood, and wondering where you went wrong. After that, I'll be forced to take care of any witnesses who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing a few quick choke slams can't fix, followed by a nice gentle slice across the jugular with the Benchmade.
Now, mother****er, you sure you want to go through with that punch?

DE
03-30-2012, 04:01 PM
There are some bad motherfuckers out there on the Internet. Entertaining writing too.

Timone
03-30-2012, 04:04 PM
Good to know you also get a kick out of this shit.

I have to admit, reading some of this stuff brings tears to my eyes.

Timone
03-30-2012, 04:04 PM
Hey, see ya in the Wings OST later!

Timone
03-30-2012, 04:19 PM
An atheist, communist, ACLU lawyer professor was teaching a class on Karl Marx. “Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and accept that Marx was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, greater than Jesus Christ!” At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL stood up, holding a rock. “How old is this rock, professor?” The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.” “Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.” The professor was visibly shaken. He dropped his chalk and stormed out of the classroom. The students applauded and all registered Republican. An eagle flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. That flag waves until this day, despite the lack of wind in the classroom. Semper Fi.

Vinny
03-31-2012, 02:56 AM
SEMPER FI!!!

Timone
03-31-2012, 03:05 AM
ethugtxt.com

haha, I'm in Heaven!




I'm getting sick and tired of listening to your shit. You keep pushing me day in and day out, and eventually you'll push me past the point of no return. I don't give a **** who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain that it'll make jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island.I don't give a **** how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself.

I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. I'll turn your air conditioning on high and open all the windows. I'll turn your cable box on and order 20 pay per view channels at once, and I'll pick up your phone and dial a pay-per-minute sex line in Japan.

I'm going to run your utility bills up so fucking high that you can't pay them. You're going to start stressing the **** out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your fucking life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery.

And when you walk out the front door of that hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you.I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It's too fucking late to save yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either...I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitchfaced ****.

Welcome to hell, population: you.

Vinny
03-31-2012, 03:13 AM
The av is so amazing.

Vinny
03-31-2012, 03:13 AM
(OBSESSED)

Timone
03-31-2012, 03:24 AM
When I get back on Twitter, I'm going to tell Hogg I'm 15 and hugely inspired by his writing. Would he fall for it? I want him to take me "under his wing."

Timone
03-31-2012, 04:29 AM
First of all mother fucker, let me tell you something you little punk assed bitch. Don't fucking e-mail me and tell me how god damn cool you think Stone Cold is because you met him at Wal-Mart and then run your God Damn mouth about him in this public domain.

Second, I will forget more about wrestling today, then your faggot ass will ever fucking know. Period.

Third, you don't know shit about me, if you did, you would bend over and kiss my god damn ass, because I personally guarantee that I could make your punk ass.

You are in Austin, no fucking problem, I will personally drive down there and whip your little ass, and record it to post on this fucking site. You want some real shit mother fucker? I will be down there tomorrow if you fucking want it. I am sick of your little punk ass. If your'e still in San Antonio, no problem as well, my girlfriend has a trial in San Antonio and I will be driving there as well and have nothing to do on my days off while she is at trial (she's a paralegal, not that it is any of your fucking business).

Get a fucking clue you fucking son of a bitch. Damn sure don't write checks your fucking ass can't cash mother fucker. I am personally calling your fucking ass out. You want to fucking run your mouth? I'll give your fucking little faggot ass something to talk about. You come on here every god damn day running your mouth, and still have not said one fucking word worth listening to. Stupid ass piece of shit. I got nothing better to do on Monday or Tuesdays of any fucking week than to spend three hours driving down to Austin pissed off and shove my fist right the fuck down your throat. I'll tell you the same thing I will tell anyone, you want some of me, you name the time and the place mother fucker.....I'm ALWAYS ready.

Timone
04-12-2012, 09:49 PM
My Dearest Laquette
How are you and your family doing, fine I hope. I am in my Adv. Chemistry class writing you a letter, so that tell you how much I care for you. I decide to write you because I felt that I made you look pretty rotten after the last night. I want to tell you that I am sorry, and hope that you except my apologie. I know that you feelings was hurt whenever I loss my necklace or had it stolen.
I was really happy when you gave me my honest coin money that I won off the bet. I want to thank you for letting me hold your annual. I show it to everyone at school. Everyone think you are a very pretty young lady and I had to agree because it is very true. Please don't let this go to your head. (smile) I sorry to say that I can't go to the game on my birthday because my father is taking the whole basketball team out to eat on my birthday. Please don't be mad because I am trying get down there a week from Feb. 14. If I do get the chance to come please have some activity for us to do together.
I want you to know that my feeling for you has not change yet. ← (joke) I am finally getting use to going with a girl much smaller than I. I hope you my hint. Well I have spent my time very wisely by write to you. I hope you write back soon. Well I must go, the period is almost over. See you next time around, which I hope comes soon.
With my Best Love
Michael J. Jordan

Vinny
04-15-2012, 02:08 PM
I know this sounds really messed up, but if you're legitimately interested in taking up public masturbation then you really need to put some serious thought into it and be very careful.
There's the obvious dangers of getting caught and charged by the police, or getting pepper sprayed or whatever, but you really need to be careful about how good it feels. It's fucking addictive, man. If you're going to do it, you need to do it in moderation because eventually you won't be able to wank and cum unless you're in public. Trust me.
I started masturbating in public about five years ago in a movie theatre. I forget what was showing, but I was by myself and there was the most beautiful and sexy girl on screen which gave me the biggest stiffy I've ever had in my entire life. I had never been so turned on. I had a quick look over my shoulder and checked that there was nobody behind me ... then I sorta slouched down in my seat, whipped out my cock and started going at it. I only went for about a minute or so before violently cumming into my popcorn. It was like a tsunami of tiny, confused sperm. Without a doubt one of the best orgasms I've ever had.
After that I started to get the urge to wank in public more and more frequently. I started in discrete locations like change rooms at Target, or in quiet corners of the library, but soon enough the thrill wasn't high enough and I started to up my game. I've wanked at football stadiums, shopping malls, post offices, little league games, furniture stores, a wake once (that's a story for another time) and even in a hospital a couple of times.
The worst part about it is that you know how messed up it is. Like, you never thought you were going to be that bearded guy in a trench coat masturbating furiously during a showing of Tron: Legacy, but it kinda just escalates from a quick, one-time wank in a movie theatre right up to blowing your load on a crowded bus during peak hour.
Everything climaxed (ha) for me when I started to realize that I physically couldn't ejaculate at home or in private anymore. I would wank for hours to every form and genre of pornography that you can think of, but unless I was in a public venue with a chance of getting caught, I just couldn't cum. Nothing at all.
I eventually worked it all out by quitting cold turkey and going without masturbation for about three weeks. When I finally tried again, I did so at home and even though I wasn't really aroused (because there was no thrill), the fact that I hadn't cum in just over twenty days meant that I blew really quickly. From there I guess my brain began to make privacy feel "sexy" again and I've been fine ever since.
There were loads of times I almost got caught and I would definitely recommend having a solid game plan if you want to start wanking in public. Keep it moderate and don't overdo it.

Vinny
04-15-2012, 02:10 PM
Alright but hey keep it judgement free, okay? It's not one of my prouder moments and like I said in my first comment; I'm passed that phase of my life so I guess I can talk about how I used to be ... just keep in mind that I'm much more well adjusted nowadays.
I think one of the main contributors to the sort of "breakdown" that I had (that lead to the public masturbation phase and some other weird stuff) was the death of both of my grand parents. My grandpa was one of the best men I've ever had the honor of knowing, and his passing was really tough on me. He passed away a month or so before the cinema incident I described in my first comment, and the grief did some very strange things to me.
The worst part about grandpas passing was the fact that he left my grand mother behind. They were married for something like 58 years and so quite understandably she was devastated when he died. I don't know if you can actually die from heart ache, but she passed away shortly after grand dad (she had a stroke) and I've always thought of that as her sort of "giving up" and accepting death as an elderly person.
Anyway her death happened pretty much in the peak of my public wanking phase, which just made it worse as I was already not coping very well and losing her was another blow to my mental well being. Her funeral was a small one, maybe 30-40 people, and we all gathered at my mothers house afterward for the wake.
Everyone was standing around, nibbling on snacks and making small talk when all of a sudden my urges kicked in. I was incredibly aroused but at the same time disgusted with myself for even considering masturbating at my grandmothers wake. I kinda snapped myself out of it and continued on with my day.
Now this isn't something I'm proud of .... but of course with a wake being a wake there were loads of photos of my grandma and her life scattered around the place. Holiday photos, her wedding, stuff like that. What I hadn't realised before that day was that as a younger woman my grandma was really, really good looking. There were some photos of her in sort of pin-up (I think that's the term) outfits and poses. As horrible as it sounds, she looked incredibly sexy.
That was it for me. I had controlled my urges really well so far but that type of stimulus was the final push ... I couldn't help it. I was pretty much doubled over trying to hide the huge boner I had and every single second I stood there without relieving myself was absolute torture. I had a quick look over both shoulders to check that nobody was watching and when the coast was clear I grabbed a few of the best photos and headed to the (empty) kitchen. Pretty much as soon as the door closed behind me, my pants were unzipped and my dick was in my hand. I don't remember it taking very long, but I stared at those photos and jerked off and I ended up cumming incredibly, incredibly hard. One of those ones where every muscle in your body tenses up and your hands shake. Definitely in my top 5. As I finished up and I went into that post-masturbation state of clarity, I realised exactly what I had done and the euphoria of my orgasm was replaced with a tremendous amount of shame. Most of the load had actually covered the photos still in my hand... I was incredibly hateful of myself straight away: I was standing at a wake with my flaccid penis in one hand and the semen covered photographs of my recently deceased grandmother in the other. Even thinking about it makes me ashamed.
I ended up folding up the photos, putting them in my back pocket and disposing of them straight into the trash can later that evening. Luckily nobody saw me do anything but the entire experience will always stick with me as one of the most horrible things I've ever done.




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Timone
04-15-2012, 02:50 PM
HAhaha, fucking awesome.

mercury
04-16-2012, 12:19 AM
http://i851.photobucket.com/albums/ab76/aimhighdj/Kobesout.jpg

Timone
04-16-2012, 04:18 PM
I hate being a mother. If you don't have kids, think long and hard before you do. Those tv commericials are lying to you. It is not a fairy tale.

My kids are of toddler and preschool age. They fight, scream and demand all the time. I am so unhappy. Noone tells you how awful it is to be a mother. noone! Yes there are little sweet things that happen from time to time but over all it's terrible. I am so exhausted that I can't sleep at night. My nerves are shot from the kids constant yelling, fighting, and having to explain, soothe, or whatevery 24/7. I am tired! The amount of work that it takes to be a Mom and a housewife is inhuman. I never have a moment to just relax because when I am I am thinking about what work has to be done. It's fucked up. Yes I love my kids but I hate mothering them. Whatever happened to it takes a village to raise a child? For the most part, I am the sole caregiver. My husband works from early morning until they are almost ready to go to bed. He has social functions for work and in my opinion has it real good. I had to give up my career and my entire existence for my children. and do you think anyone appreciates it. It's just expected. I didn't even get a mother's day present last year. I fantasize about running away from it all. It's too much!!! If I had to do it all over, I wouldn't have any children.

Timone
04-16-2012, 04:22 PM
I was doing crack cocaine in my 20's. I dated 2 military men, and they all walked away. My mom never really liked me much. I think she didn't want to have me when she was pregnant. She is Norwegian so I heard women there don't like children as much as here in the U.S. Anyways, I hated my life. I don't see my way out. Some friends told me that if I had a baby, I will have a new purpose for life. I was like, yeah, that's it! I married this Japanese dude. He cheated on me non stop, but I thought having a baby can save our marriage too. I was wrong. He divorced me when my son was 2. He didn't even pay any child support. He disappeared. So I had to raise my son on my own. We stayed in the tiny room together until he was 18. Now he is also on Crack Cocaine. He brought girls back too. And if I was still there, he gets really mad. We got into fist fights because of small things. He hit me one day and I had to call the cops. But the cops put me in jail for a day. Because I also punched him. Hell, if I knew having a child is not going to save my life, I would have go back to school, or go to a trade school to learn something. now I am in my 60's, and I am still hooking!

Vinny
04-16-2012, 05:07 PM
Lol, where are you getting these?

mercury
04-16-2012, 07:17 PM
60 year old hooker?... We accept AARP Senior discounts

Timone
05-01-2012, 05:29 PM
I have to keep a full bush up front, I feel very uncomfortable fully shaved.

I have large-ish labia which peek out when I am standing up with my legs together, I always feel like it looks a bit x-rated when you go to the gym to be swanning around showing like that. A bush is a nice modesty covering, as well as reducing friction and acting like a nice cushion during intercourse. Plus, I'm a true redhead and a red bush is a rarity so I'm proud of it :-)

I never get all the stuff men say about it getting in the way during oral sex - erm, last time I checked, the bits I wanted given attention to were all between my labia and completely hair-free by nature! All you have to do is part the lips and it is easy from there on!

I do wax underneath about every two or three months before letting it grow back nearly completely. I like to vary it - sometimes I like it smooth underneath, and sometimes hairy. My boyfriend likes both. Sometimes he likes to bite my bush - he really loves it, and really what is a pube or two between lovers? He gets them wrapped around the head of his penis often enough under the skin and I just think it is funny.

DrRay11
05-01-2012, 07:24 PM
ick.

Glenn
05-01-2012, 07:47 PM
The Diceman approves.

Timone
05-03-2012, 05:16 PM
i hate being a mother of two I had to give up my career. it sucks my husband gos off to work smiling while im stuck in the house with a 2 year old and a one month old who keeps me up all night. I have lost weight because i dont have time to eat. i look at my friends facebook pages they look good having fun they have kids. My husband says it will get better but fuck when will it get better. i know when it will get better as soon as i go back to work im leaving and paying child support im getting my life back. Until someone walks in my shoes they dont know shit. I went to the doctor and got the morena but since my husband made me have this second baby and i told him we were better off with one he will never taste this kitty cat again. im so done with sex i dont care if he go off and have sex with some one else. iim so bored being married to him we dont do shit its so many guys who hit me up on face book asking to take me out . crazy thing about it i would be like no before but this time im going why not cheat aleast i would have fun. plus i can move on

Timone
05-26-2012, 02:31 AM
you just bullied me. bullied me. the greatest hypocracy i have ever seen. i thought this was a caring community that had concern for its own people. you're all bullies. REMEMBER THAT! cowards who can't see beyond a book some other f**** wrote that you could've written. you bitches have no confidence to look with your own eyes so you let doctors point your eyes to your shoes. bitchboys and cowardy c**** hiding behind your keyboards acting like you're all better than me because i dont talk or think like you. my great great grandpa was offered to be king twice and he refused out of morality because being king means people die. my family is better than all of you genetic rejects and i dont get cheeky or brag. this is the love that i come from. this is the standard i was raised on, to care and to love. and i come into a world with no standards and no heart and i feel hate for being cheated each and every time i showed my love in this cold and unloving retentive society and i come for consolidation and you spit on me with your pathetic internet egos. f**k you all i hope you all die miserable and lonely you socially deprived bitter losers f**k aspies and autistic people you need to get shat on more if you got a problem go out there and do something rather than taking it out on your own kind you f***ing bitches i hate you pieces of sh** marketing your website like you care about people. you're just living the live you wish you could live in person on the internet because none of you would speak your minds in person i know autistic people they're all ****. f**k you all all you have is cheek and brainless wit you're all c**** go f**k yourselves. im going to bully every autistic person i meet now. ya you heard me. ive never bullied anyone in my whole life. now im going to bully autistic people because you're all ****. f**k you.


A College Professor stood on his chair and said, "If GOD really exists, knock me off my chair." Nothing happened. The class was quiet. He said "See? I'll give it a couple more minutes". A 82nd ABN Vet stood up, punched him in the face knocking him out and off the chair, then sat back down. As the Professor came to he looked at his student and said, "WHY'D YOU DO THAT?" He said, "GOD was busy protecting my buddies still fighting for your right to say and do stupid stuff like this, so HE SENT ME".

Timone
06-17-2012, 08:07 PM
I'm hoping someone can help. I'm having a very difficult time with my dressing. In the past couple of weeks I discovered I had done some dressing "for fun" with my cousins back in the mid 1970s. I had completely suppressed this from my memory but something triggered my past. I remember dressing as a girl and doing things indoors with my cousins like playing games, watching TV, and etc. One cousin was male (who desired to be female) and one was female. I wore most everything to appear as a girl except make-up, wig or bra. I've worn dresses, skirts, pantyhose, as well as shorts, t-shirts (you could tell they were girly) and high heels. I had a breakdown in front of my wife and confessed everything that I had remembered. She was ok. She asked the usual are you gay, bi or do you want to be a girl questions and my answer was a truthful no. She asked what I wanted from this. I didn't and still don't know. I'm happy being a guy and do not wish to present as a girl, but wearing panties, camisoles under guy clothes along with girl jeans satisfied me over this past weekend. I have had strong desires to do so again, but have not had an opportunity to do so. I have figured out I can't do without at least panties (I wear 24/7) but need to feel more girlish without presenting as a girl. I feel this is right for me and as far as I want to go (except for pajamas but that's another story) I so badly want to feel like a girl and not be a girl. I guess I just need someone to tell me that is ok.
Sorry for the long post, but I needed to provide some backgound.

Timone
07-24-2012, 03:05 PM
You have a quite a mouth.

I have mastered the Divine Fist of the North Star and have won the Kumate tournament 3 years in a row. I am currently ranked as the World's Second Deadliest Man, right below Count Dante himself. What's that? Do I even lift? Why yes, I can bench press 2,561 pounds American, and that's just warming up. You claim you will use guns on an unarmed fighter? Typical of your breed. **** waffle, I possess Blademaster training and can katana your bullets outta thin air like the fucking Matrix.

Normally, I have a peaceful, meditative spirit, and a quiet veneration for all life. However, you sir, YOU, are a psychopathic clown, an unbelievable pile of scum and brainless muscle. You terrorize the good citizens of /sp/, who desire only to discuss sports and Power Rank various things.
When our mods banned you, you hacked their IP to come back. After I reported to you to the proper authorities, you broke out of jail and spammed 4Chan anew. Truly, you are the lowest form of life on God's Earth. Excuse me baka? You called me a **** again?
As a world class martial artist and legendary ninja, I can only act in self defense. So please Mister Internet Gangster, come at me bro.

Tre?

The only reason you could not picture yourself behind the wheel of a corvette is because your some pencil neck little puke, and that is the truth. This car is not for faggots or p*****s its for muscle bound guys who bang hot chicks. If you want to complain go home and talk to your cat about how sporty your 3 series is.

F*****g joke people calling the corvette down, get a life. Oh i heard there is a new bmw z4 out, you and your **** friends better run and check it out. HAHAHAHAHA

Timone
08-01-2012, 10:40 PM
Awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation. Call me.

Vinny
08-03-2012, 09:10 PM
Yow.

Timone
08-06-2012, 02:52 AM
When I was 12, I thought it would be funny to sh!t into a Pringles can...so I did. The log nearly filled the entire can. Then I got the brilliant idea to fill the rest of the can with water and leave it out in my backyard. It was winter at the time so I imagined it would freeze as a cylinder of ice with a log of sh!t in the middle. The next night, my drunk older brother (who was 16) and his buddies came stumbling through the backyard. One of them saw the can and decided to kick it. Instead of freezing, the can had turned into a chilled tube of diarrhea. It sprayed all over the guy who kicked its foot and his buddy's Philly Eagles jacket. I laughed my ass off as they washed my sh!t off their shoes and coat. One of them had a mustache (at 16) so I didn't give a phuck. They knew it was sh!t, but they never knew its origins.

Timone
08-07-2012, 12:45 AM
Attention, fact: Life was funny when we were all 12 living in the suburbs listening to linkin park watching dragonball z drinking pepsi while playing halo co-op on the easiest setting during which we consumed doritos and looked at paintball guns on ebay in internet explorer connected through aol on a 56k modem before hopping into our balding fathers' latest midlife-crisis-impulse-sponsored japanese-built suv to head to the mall and get more skateboarding shoes and third-rate irregular levis and mountain bike parts before heading home, voting democrat and masturbating to the latest sears catalog while huffing paint in your garage before talking to pedophiles on aim pretending to be whatever camwhore they're ranting about on myspace with a matrix quote/anime character name/triple six-asterisk-parentheses-surrounded screenname before heading to your supposed "good school" in the morning to buy more pot to smoke during your counter-strike lan party with jimmy and the rest of his friends taking ritalin and adderall and prozac eight times a day before taking a casual pass at local, state or national governmential figures, legislature, or structure to appear edgy and intelligent in front of your budweiser-sneaking, limp-wristed, near-to-columbine sociopathic "deep" friends who play the victim when they start losing arguements six days before their botched suicide attempt simply because school tramp number twelve wouldn't go under the bleachers with them to let them get to second base before their thirteenth birthday.

Timone
08-17-2012, 11:48 PM
Got some questions for you, I know a lot about sex and stuff thanks to friends from my University but I'm not very knowledgeable .

When I was 13, I had a girl as deskmate and I had feelings for her. And appearantly she had feelings for me. So we started touching us during lessons under the desks. We started spending time together. Soon, I found out she was cheating on me. I never talked to her about it. Summer came and we didn't talk for months. The next year , we were in different classes and we stopped talking with each other but I couldn't forget her. So I went up to her asked her out and she refused. After that I became stalker, I followed her everywhere and talked to her about the whole issue. I bet her up once, she cried. School's counselor learned of it and invited over to her room. She wanted me to stop stalking or I would have to change my school. I agreed to stop , I did ok for the remaining time. I didn't go to graduation prom , she was going with another guy.

After that year I kinda got fucked up. Using the biology, I learned what girls generally like, I started using girls for sex. Life is about reproduction so girls want things that guarantee their children's safety and well-being. Money,you having a healthy body and trustworthyness. I told them lies all the time and dumped them after I had what I wanted. I became a sex addict, had sex or masturbated 7-8 times a day. Too much sex made my body very fit. Didn't have to do sports. I only felt sorry for some Russian girl that I lied to. I shouldn't have lied to her about my age, I met her in a hotel, she was in the entertainment squad, she took care of little children, danced in mini disco for them at nights. I used my brother reach her. We started spending time and one day she invited me to her room. We made love. I kept us secret from my family but soon they learned and they interfered and she learned of my lie. I wanted talk to her about it but she said she won't talk to me again. I came back home broken hearted. I attempted suicide after that. Her name was Natheliena. I had fallen in love with her but I never saw her again. She left me nothing no pic,no msn,no way to reach her. Whatever so it's the same thing for more than 3 years, I'm still a sex-addict and I do petty theft and stuff. I am a communist so I have the means to justfiy the ends, I admire Stalin. I kinda want to take revenge from women and the world tbh. I hate sex and love it at the same time, I want to stop being a sex addict and become a decent person but living like a bandit is all I know. I don't know how to do it.

Timone
09-11-2012, 11:07 PM
I hate those prisons. I truly hate them. I'm really sorry you had to go through what I went... I guess I'll share my story, and hopefuly I'll make some people realize that these camps are... more than evil. As a kid I really denied any form of authority. I often harrased teachers, and the idea of a great man in the sky ruling over me was not only ridicoulous to me, but also hazardous... I came out to my (extremist) parents at the age of 14. They cried, threatened me, did everything they could to turn me back into a robot... About 1 month after I came out, 3 men came into my house at night, and told me to stay quiet and walk with them. I tought it was a kidnapping, as most people who experience this... I walked into the van, and they explained themselelves. I was shocked and filled with hate, but I knew I shouldn't do anything, the van was small and I couldn't defend myself. My first day at that prison was horrible... everything I did was supervised, and also controlled. The only time I got some "privacy" was at night, 10 o'clock. After 1 week I just couldn't take the authority, and I was put in isolation. Two months. Two. ****ing. Months. After the first month I began hearing voices in my head, and after another week, the voices formed into a big, strong voice... I only had one conversation with it.
Voice : "Escape." Me : "How?" Voice : "Strong. Then Kill."
After the last sentence I never heard it again. But it was enough. I knew my goal. At the time I had about 100 lbs... I was skinny, I didn't have force... I was helpless. Every time I got out of isolation, I said "**** God.". All I did in isolation was exercise. I was so full of hate I didn't care about time... In there there was no natural light, just a little crack... I had no clock, so I would just look at the crack while exercising.. Everytime light started to get through the crack, meaning it was day, it was a great achievment. I felt.. great. Small things where all I had, so it was incredible... I exercised in there for 8 months... breaks of 20 minutes, exercises for 1 and a half. And repeat. Repeat. Repeat... After 8 months, I finnaly got out... everyone was so surprised I didn't shout "**** God.". For about 4 days I was heavily looked at by all the guards... that was the day I began the brainwashing. They thought the isolation broke me down. It only made me stronger. Everytime I entered the brainwashing room I would see a broken window. The room was on the first floor, so I could get out without too much damage. But I was... nowhere. Nowhere meaning a forest. I could run, of course, but how long would the forest last? I didn't know. Forest was freedom. Freedom is good. So I got to get in the forest. One day, instead of the 5 athletic guys that went with me to the room, there were only 2 janitors. I was so surprised... yet calm. I knew that was my day. As I was approaching the window, I felt some adrenaline going up my spine... I quickly headlocked one guy while kicking the other with one foot, and managed to pull a neck break on the headlocked guy.. I got ready, then jumped off the window. I fell, rolled, and managed to don't get hurt bad... I was running, running, running... I could hear some sounds, but I was so thrilled I didn't pay attention.. after about 4km running I finnaly stopped. I could feel freedom. It was... beautiful. I heard a "*! Watch how you're driving, man!". My instinct moved me, and I approaced a yellow car... "Please.. just.. let me come." The guy looked at me surprised, then told me to get in. After about half an hour, when I recovered, he asked me my story, but I was still afraid. What if he would get me to the cops? What if he was one of them? I didn't know. I just said "No time to explain. Where are you going?". He said Florida. I arrived in Florida at the age of 15. I'm 19 now, and I never spoke with my parents again, and will never do it. I truly hate them. But the experience made me realize how important free will is. .. aaaaand I grew *ing awesome muscles. Thanks for reading so far ! I means a lot to me that I can share my story... it hurts even now, after 4 years.

Timone
11-12-2012, 07:51 PM
There are numerous things I love about my first Fleshlight (Vibro Touch), then there's the issue of battery life. I ordered my Fleshlight a bit before the New Year and learned the bullets were on backorder, so I had to wait a couple extra weeks. It's been a blast, but after about 60 minutes of use (not all at once!) the vibrations grew weaker and finally quit. Customer Service tells me that's typical, that's why they sell replacement batteries. I grabbed new batteries and 20 minutes later one of the bullets completely drained three brand new batteries. Anyone else having this issue? Is this actually normal?

Vinny
11-19-2012, 06:50 PM
Awesome.



The first two days Sam and I were on the run we were far from our house. I felt helpless, especially given the fact that so many of our friends and workers were being arrested. I realized that unless I knew, moment by moment, what was happening, my chances of coming out of this intact, both emotionally and physically, were slim. I needed to be close to area where the events occurred and needed to watch, and hear, the actions of the authorities. I also needed to do my own investigation, since the police only seemed to be investigating my whereabouts. My safety is contingent on the truth being discovered. I today announced on NBC Television that I am offering a $25,000 reward for the capture of the person or persons responsible for Mr. Faul’s murder.
After two days we returned to the house, in disguise, and I began my watch.
The first day I colored my full beard and my hair light grey- almost white. I darkened the skin of my face, neck and hands carefully with shoe polish and put on an LA Saints baseball cap with the brim facing backwards and tufts of the front of my hair sticking out unkempt through the band. I stuffed my cheeks with chewed bubble gum stuck to the outside of my upper and lower molars – making my face appear much fatter. I darkened and browned my front teeth. I stuffed a shaved down tampon deep into my right nostril and died the tip dark brown – giving my nose an awkward, lopsided, disgusting appearance. I put on a pair of ragged brown pants with holes patched and darned. I wore an old, ragged long sleeve shirt. I donned an old Guatemalan style sarape and toted a bag containing a variety of Guatemalan woven goods. I adjusted my posture so that I appeared a good six inches shorter than my actual height and slowly walked up and down the beach with a pronounced limp, pushing an old single speed bicycle and peddling my wares to tourists and reporters using a broken English with a heavy Spanish accent. On my second day, while peddling small wooden carvings, I nearly sold a dolphin carving to an Associated Press reporter standing at the edge of my dock. He was pulled away from my enticement by an urgent phone call.
Among the people I spoke with that day was the caretaker at Mr. Faul’s house. The police had stated that Mr. Faul’s housekeeper discovered the body. His caretaker told me that Faul did not have a housekeeper. He himself discovered the body he said. I found this interesting and filed it away as a piece of data that might help at some point. Why would the police lie about this? Lies always have a reason.
Then I watched the police dig up my four dogs that had been poisoned and buried. They cut off the heads and re-buried the bodies. I found this curious. The dogs had been dead too long for an effective autopsy, considering it would be performed in a Third World country with limited access to laboratory resources. What was this all about?
I watched the police search my residence 7 times. At one point I got too close and was angrily ordered to go away. I did so while muttering “Pendejos!” loud enough for the officers to hear. Every search was allegedly performed in order to find me. On two occasions, however, the police carried large duffle type bags into the premises and left with the bags appearing nearly empty. Perhaps the bags contained their lunch and they ate while searching. Perhaps not.
On subsequent days using different disguises, I did the same general thing, one day selling tamales and burritos that I had purchased wholesale from a real vendor, on another pretending to be a drunk German tourist with a partially bandaged face and wearing speedo swimming trunks and a distasteful, oversized Hawaiian shirt and yelling loudly at anyone who would listen – “Leck mich um ausch!”. At 67 years of age it was quite a spectacle.
What I discovered is that the police are more concerned with finding me than catching Mr. Faul’s killer. Rumors are rife. The most enduring and frequently passed rumor is that the killing was punishment for a soured real estate transaction. I did not know, until I heard the rumor that Mr. Faul was working for a local real estate company. No-one seems to know the true details of the transaction or the parties involved, but the police could easily discover the details if they were so inclined.
I also was able to observe the machinations of the press. They stayed mostly on my long boat dock and behaved themselves, but occasionally they would nab one by passer or another and ask questions. Mostly they waited for me to be caught on camera. Yesterday I got to watch Amy bring NBC to film the police illegally (again) search my property. NBC used my boat service (Coastal Express) so I would like to thank them for the business. They also sat for a while just offshore doing God knows what. I watched perplexed and eventually they went back to town.
I will continue my investigations, since the police seem to have defaulted on this obligation. I have offered a reward. If anyone has any information, please give it directly to me. I will publish it here on this blog first, and then provide it to the police. That way it cannot just conveniently disappear if it is evidence that the Government finds distasteful.
I want to again beg the International community to apply whatever pressure it can to win the release of my friends and employees who have been arrested:
Eddie Ancona
William Mulligan
Mr. Mulligan’s Wife
Cassian Chavarria
Pease do what you can. Write your congressman to ask for sanctions against Belize. Write the Prime Minister and shame him. Just speak out. When enough people join a clamor for justice, the world changes.
P.S. No-one at the house, including the staff, know that I am nearby. If the police are reading this, do not randomly round up everyone for harboring a fugitive. Please.


http://www.whoismcafee.com/

Timone
11-20-2012, 02:47 PM
That pasta is delicious, and yes, I read the whole thing!

Timone
11-22-2012, 07:58 PM
Back when I was a kid, my family would all meet up at my great aunt's house, as she lived on a giant piece of property that ranged from around two hundred to two hundred and fifty acres. When you first go through the giant, wrought iron gates, you drove about two miles through dense, redwood forest until you drove into the drive way of a glorious mansion.

The mansion was four stories and had plenty of room for everyone. Thanksgiving was a time our entire family loved and cherished. It was the only time all of us got together under one roof and mingled. Like most families, the kids played with the kids, the teens, hung out with the teens, and the adults mingled with the adults. Except for me.

In their eyes I was the black sheep, the third wheel, the great, family embarrassment. Being how they were all devout Catholics, they didn't agree with my ways of life. First of all, I played guitar, loved Heavy Metal, and worshiped Satan. The latter was in rebellion to my parents. (A decision I soon regretted) All of the above explains why my family shunned me in embarrassment. In their eyes, I was the flaw of their nearly perfect gem, but in my eyes, I was the cream of the crop.

I should've known that they were planning something awful when they asked me to join them somewhere, usually they left me to my own devices in the mansion when they went places. I was naive then, so I went with them. They drove me to the very corner of the ranch. "What the fuck are we doing back here," I asked.

My only reply was, "Shut up you blaspheming fool." At last we got to the destination. Sitting there, was my father, mother, and sister, all standing around, wearing clothes that if you saw them on the street you'd think that they were returning from a funeral. In the middle of their little semicircle of sorrow, was a shallow grave.

"What's that hole for?" I asked dumbly.

"Take a guess you satanic fucker!" Was the reply from my father. The next thing I felt was a thud in the back of my head. I hit the ground with a loud, "thlap" like noise. Somehow I was able to turn around in spite of the excruciating pain. I turned around to see my uncle wielding a shovel. With blood on the spade, my blood. I touched the back of my head to reveal my fingers covered in blood. I suddenly grew light headed and passed out. When I woke up I inhaled dirt. Luckily for me my family didn't know how to properly bury someone so I was able to dig myself out. I sat there and threw up for about fifteen minutes. From that point on I had nothing but revenge stuck in my head.

By the time I got back to the mansion, it was Thanksgiving night. Peering into the window I could see all of my family, sitting there, saying grace like the sheeple they were. Seeing them in prayer made my hatred for them, and all Catholics, grow. It went from a smouldering, muddled anger, to a flaming, outrageous hatred. The worst part of it is, I welcomed it into what was left of my heart.

I ran into the garage and quickly found my great uncle's shotgun, sitting there, waiting for me it seemed, beckoning, saying, "Go ahead, make these fuckers pay for what they did, or tried to do."

At first I decided against it, but then my lust for revenge got the better of me. I grabbed hold of the shotgun, found the ammunition in a drawer directly underneath it. Using the door connecting the kitchen to the garage, I snuck into the house, my family, completely oblivious, shouted a pathetic "amen" into the air and started eating.

My last rational thought was "ARE YOU INSANE?!? PUT THE GUN DOWN AND JUST RUN AWAY! JOIN A BAND, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

That was my last rational thought. I slowly crept into the dining room, where they were all sitting, in one long table. The adults were closest to me, my mother, in particular. I casually walked into that god forsaken dining room.

"Hi Mom!" I shouted as I pulled the trigger, I started laughing uncontrollably as I continued firing in the immediate direction of my family until I was empty. My little four year old cousin was crouched in front of my aunt, holding her head while crying, I pulled the shotgun up like a baseball player getting ready to slug one out of the park, and decapitated her with one, giant smack of the rifle butt.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" My father asked, wounded, he was shot in the gut.

"Wrong with me?" I asked calmly.

"What's wrong with you? You guys are the ones that tried to bury me alive, YOU guys are the ones who felt embarrassed by my very presence. You shall all pay."

With that I beat him with the butt of the gun until he stopped screaming, then I beat him some more. After my realization that my entire family was dead, I threw the gun away and dined. Not on Turkey, but on raw, Human flesh. It was the best Thanksgiving I ever had.

Vinny
11-23-2012, 02:14 PM
JOIN A BAND, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

Timone
12-17-2012, 08:57 AM
I decided to become celibate following a particularly traumatic gay casual sex encounter in December 2010; I'll leave the particulars to your imagination but I required hospital treatment and a month taking emergency anti-HIV drugs. But at least after a four month wait I found out that I thankfully remain HIV-!

My decision to become celibate wasn't so much to do what happened to me that night because it was far from the first time I have endured such an experience going back to when I was just 12-years old, but the realisation dawned on me that unless I made fundamental changes to my lifestyle I would be destined to perpetuate the cycle of the past 30-years by continually putting myself in damaging high risk sexually exploitative situations!

I now realise the rationale driving my 'need' to engage in high risk sexual activities had little to do with seeking sexual fulfilment, because invariably I did not enjoy the actual sex - in truth, I have rarely enjoyed sexual intimacy despite having sex with over 500 men! - and afterwards the emotional fallout has only served to compound deep-seated issues of negative self-image and self-worth.

Obviously the root cause is psychological and goes back to early childhood experiences when much of the damage was done to my psycho-sexuality, which was compounded by being sexually molested in a public toilet when I was 12 and the ensuing years of sexual exploitation by much older males during my adolescence; as I became drawn into a murky secretive gay underground scene of casual sexploitive encounters in public toilets and gay cruising grounds.

In some respects it is hardly surprising that my sexuality ended up highly dysfunctional and deviant in nature - not that I am seeking to avoid taking responsibility or justify my own sexual behaviour - causing me considerable emotional and psychological problems throughout my adult life because of the type of sexual encounters I was having. I have also had to deal with the consequences of my own sexually deviant behaviours which culminated in getting a criminal record for public indecency and all that involves!

I guess it would be fair to say that I manifested addictive behaviour towards sexual encounters despite a loathing of anyone sexually pleasuring myself, but as someone who is also diagnosed with a severe Borderline mental health disorder I have come to realise I was using my sex encounters as a method of self-harming (albeit by proxy) to reinforce negative self-image.

I do not believe any amount of psycho-therapy will ever bring me to the state where I can reconcile my sexuality to the point I can enjoy a normal sex life, so for now celibacy, for me, is an absolute necessity if I am to succeed on the road to recovery.

Celibacy does feel somewhat like wearing a straitjacket without the straps tied most of the time, as I still have to contend with full male sex hormones and a deviant sexuality, which is why ultimately I believe castrating my balls is the only way I can ever truly be sexually liberated!

Uncle Mxy
12-17-2012, 08:50 PM
Where did bukdow post the above?

Timone
12-30-2012, 10:46 PM
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts HB10s
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Vinny
12-30-2012, 11:04 PM
Ha! AMAZON ADDICT:::^^^^^

Tahoe
12-30-2012, 11:06 PM
I read somewhere "HB8.5s are gross" lol

Timone
02-11-2013, 12:12 AM
Hello,

I have a puzzling problem. I am a single male, 23, and have sexual aversion OCD. As such, I have never participated in masturbation or other sexual relations. I also do everything possible to prevent erections, and not have sexual thoughts; so ultimately I am very removed from everything sexual, as much as possible. I am so averse I won't touch or even look at my genitals; but that is another problem and not the point of this question.

At night, trying to go to sleep, I frequently have spasms in my penis. I don't know what causes it; the condition only happens when I am lying down, whether it is to watch a movie, try to sleep, take a nap, etc. Within a minute or two, the first one or two comes, and they keep repeating. They continue with greater frequency unless I stand up and walk around a little. Lying back down, I get a few more minutes of uninterrupted relaxation, and it begins again and I have to start walking around again as they would keep getting worse.

I don't know how to describe it. I think it is like the rhythm that I have noticed in wet dreams, only extraordinarily minor as there is no full ejaculation, although I can occasionally sense some dampness after this happens. It is very similar to that feeling, a pulsation feeling. I describe it like a miniature version of the wet dream while awake, only each day it happens.

Is there any medical cause behind it? Someone suggested it is because the muscle is too stressed and has the spasms. I do avoid erections as much as possible, and have this happen even if I haven't had any erections. It happens every night like clockwork and has for several years now.

I wonder if it is because I am so anxious and tense all day, even without erection, that when I finally relax to lie down, it comes.

Is there a name for this, or is this some totally crazy thing that is only affecting me? I wonder if it is because I have this OCD and try so hard to avoid it, that it is some sort of psychosomatic response. I have no sexual thoughts at all before or during it occurring, however.

Any information is helpful!

Thank you!

Timone
03-03-2013, 10:00 PM
I am a Celtic Viking. My ancestry is huge for me, as well as that ancestry's history. I am a living historian, who takes pride in bringing back and reviving the old ways of doing things for the coming generations. Working towards Self Sufficient living, and living/teaching wilderness survival and primitive skills, I am definitely not your run of the mill guy.

Eg er Heithinn!

Glenn
03-04-2013, 11:34 AM
bukdow?

Timone
03-06-2013, 03:40 AM
I've had an epiphany recently and I think it's only healthy to share it with others. I've come to realize that I can't stand women, they way they speak, move and act. Everything about them disgusts me, yet I'm still very attracted to them: I'm not gay as I'm not attracted to men at all, yet I despise most women.

I've realized that at an early age I became jaded, jaded to the standard appearance most women keep. When I was seven I would always play barbies with my younger sister. I loved the experience - dressing them up, creating all sorts of dramas that my little seven year old head could wrap around and countless other things. I'd always have so much fun with barbie and my sister, minutes would turn into hours and we'd never stop. We had the Barbie suitcase, the barbie hotel and house, the fucking barbie vans and cars; ALL of that shit. As I got older, it became socially unacceptable to continue playing with barbies but at this point I was hooked, I loved them, every single one of them.

Now the main issue beyond my jaded mentality, at about 12 years of age I started becoming sexually experimental. Touching myself, playing with my dick and running various things over my asshole. This experimental stage lead from one awkward thing to the next until eventually I was dressing up Barbie and it happened: In an act of blind aggression and lust, I ripped her clothing off, threw her down and put her arms above her head. I forced her plastic legs apart and began rubbing my dick all over her. This went on for such a long time, rubbing my dick along the plastic, wrapping her hair around my dick and jerking myself off until I'd fill her face and hair with semen.

I was hooked, after every session I'd just discard the dolls in my closet and take another barbie from my sisters barbie suitcase. I had all sorts of varieties - White barbie, black barbie, puerto-rican, princess barbie and etcetera. It was one of the happiest times of my life, eventually I grew up and had to discard these fine dolls. Yet every time I look at a woman, she just can't compare to the experience with and memories I have of Barbie.

Just remembering these things have given me goosebumps. I'm heading off to the store now, I'm going to buy my niece a Barbie for her birthday and keep it at my house..

Yes, specifically in my closet.

Uncle Mxy
03-07-2013, 10:50 AM
bukdow?

Glenn
03-10-2013, 10:35 PM
Look, I get that the whole situation is really unfortunate, and I know they still have to work out all the who did what and the how and why, and I'm sure his financial situation is less than ideal. But here we are, it's a lovely Sunday, Daylight Savings has begun, the sun is shining, the days are longer and warmer and the nights shorter and shorter, the birds are chirping. Crocuses are peeking up through the soil, early buds are on the trees, and I'm drinking a fizzy cocktail on a wooden chair 'neath a tall sycamore while my wife sweeps dry leaves away from the patio and hums a tune. I'm wearing neither shoes nor pants nor underpants, and my foot-long winter beard blows gently in a soft, cheerful breeze from the west. A curious white moth bobs along flirtatiously behind my seat - I shall eat him later with a squeeze of lemon and a glass of room temperature Chardonnay. All seems right in the world, and therefore must be so, and if Mr. Pistorius can't set aside this silly suicidal depression on such a day, well, I'm afraid I can offer very little sympathy.

Wait for it...

Timone
03-10-2013, 10:37 PM
lol'd hard

Deadspin?

Glenn
03-10-2013, 10:39 PM
Yep

Timone
03-10-2013, 10:40 PM
God, that's good.

Timone
03-11-2013, 10:19 AM
Read that again. Laughed. Made my morning.

Timone
03-16-2013, 08:35 PM
I say, what the devil did you just audaciously proclaim about my well-being, you trollop? I shall inform you that I have graduated top of my class at the Gentleman’s Academy of Sophisticated Persons, and have been involved in numerous endeavors with the Ruffians down the street from my abode; might I also add that I’ve accumulated over 300 pieces of antique furniture? I am educated in fine dining and high class catering and I’m the top Victorian era furniture appraiser in the entire high society. You are naught to me but a simple, uncouth brute. I shall embarrass the dickens out of you with class the likes of which has never been witnessed before on this humble planet, I solemnly promise. You assume you can disrespect my image on the internet? Think again, savage. As we speak I am contacting my diligent secretary to arrange a brunch together at the finest coffee shop in town, so you had better prepare a fetching enough outfit to compete with my immaculate attire, barbarian. The brunch that sends you packing back to the countryside. You are inevitably defeated, heathen. I can be booked at any appointment, any hour, and I can educate you in over seven hundred cultures, and that’s just with the literary selection in my guest lobby. Not only am I extensively fluent in in several languages, I have access to the entire Giorgio Armani fall collection and I will flaunt it’s finely tailored mastery to outshine your drab, common appearance off the face of humanity, you slob. If only you had foreseen the kind of comeuppance your inflammatory “insignificant” comment was bound to earn you, perhaps you would have tempered your words. But you insisted, and now I will teach you manners and grace and you will learn dignity and poise, yet. Consider yourself in etiquette school, peasant.

:sirdouche:

Timone
05-05-2013, 12:44 AM
I am completely heterosexual. I love women. Everything about women. I find many women attractive and some could say that my standards are low. I like to think of it as that I can find beauty that other tend to over look. Big women, skinny women, giant breasts, flat chested, any race, color or creed. Chances are I've spanked it thinking about them. All women are beautiful. But here's my problem. I've recently out of a very long relationship. All I want to do is get laid. To make matters worse, I'm currently sleeping on a friends couch until I find an apartment and there is no privacy. Basically I haven't masturbated or had sex in about 2 months. I'm going f***ing crazy. I just want to cum. That leads me to my dilemma. A friend of mine that I've known for years who also happens to be gay knows how hard up I am to bust a nut and keeps offering to suck my cock. At first I laughed at him. I mean, I'm completely not gay. Men don't turn me on. But for some reason I'm actually considering letting him do it. So my question is, should I? I mean a mouth is a mouth right? I'll be imagining women while he's doing it, so is it still gay? I just want to stick my d*** in something warm and wet. So peeps, what do you think. Is it still gay or am I just a f***ed up pervert. Why am I even considering this? Is it a good idea? Tell me what yall think. Maybe I should just take a walk and go masturbate in the woods, though to me that seems just as twisted. One thing is for sure, I got to get this baby batter out of me before I go f***ing crazy. Oh, and if you were thinking spank it in the bathroom, it's out of the question. Where I stay at there's like 7 people living here. Hard enough to get a shower or a sh*t in, and I don't feel comfortable beating off in the shower because there's kids that stay here to that have to take baths in the tub and that just trips me out and I don't want to shower spank. So...should I go fag for the weekend? Will I even be able to get it up with a dude? Fuck! I need some advice.

DrRay11
05-05-2013, 10:58 AM
Jesus christ, just go nut in the toilet. Fucking idiot.

Vinny
05-05-2013, 12:40 PM
Lol, he doesn't feel comfotable doing it in the shower so he's going to go in some dude's mouth instead. So gross. So zekyl.

Timone
05-05-2013, 03:17 PM
Fucked up that when I first read "peeps" I immediately thought Tahoe asked this?

Timone
05-29-2013, 06:07 PM
why not bring back webber???????? We are just going to lose to boston or cleveland anyways. just like the kenny chesney song we are going back to cleveland and losing, the best we can hope for is cleveland playing boston in the second round that way we can play boston in the ECF and say that we made it there again. can someone please explain to me how we are going to make to the nba finals, boston is 3x the media draw of the pistons, the pistons are the losing wrestler in the wwf we are the randy macho man savage of the world, i wish it were not this way but i cant see any differently atleast not lately, so in conclusion the only way that I see us beating boston is if we had made the trade for kobe earlier in the year and that way we would carry that celebrity status that david stern and the nba crave. I told the palace president last year that we were going to lose to LEBRon in the RCF and they kicked me out of the palace and made me write apology letters. screw it if we lose again this year and i think it is based on the nba fixing it to get the more popluar team in the finals i will never watch another piston game again. I love that we are winning these days but part of me missed the loser days of the 90's. I miss t mill and the teal jerseys, and grant hill otis throrpe joe d. when we were losers it was fun to go to games, jon barry would just get the crowd pumped, I cant remember the last time i went to a game were i thought th e crowd was really into it, the prices are redicoulouysy high and I will not stand for it any longer, this is my last year dealing with these sons a bitches and there over priced supply and demand prices, i want some god damn answeres and i want them now.

Glenn
05-29-2013, 07:23 PM
Okay, that's familiar.

Gusman?

Timone
05-29-2013, 07:24 PM
Yep. One of my favorites.

Timone
05-29-2013, 07:24 PM
If he knew anything about WWF he'd know that Macho Man was, like, a 2x WWF Champion though. SMH.

Uncle Mxy
05-30-2013, 07:16 AM
If he knew anything about WWF he'd know that Macho Man was, like, a 2x WWF Champion though. SMH.

mentioned WWF to someone recently and all they could come up with was Words With Friends

Timone
06-07-2013, 03:55 PM
So last night me n the crew r scanning the club, we run security on every door in town, ran the old pussies outta town, aint seem em since. had the usual drunk assed preppy f@gs from the local college, simple choke hold, knee, punch and they are down then we throw them into a dumpster ion the alleyway, one night we put 8 guys in it at once, squashed em in like tuna in a can.


im working the door, crowds are lovin it, seeing me, im a damn celebrity in this town, im like "chill the **** out" but these guys are shoving n **** trying to get a glimpse of my strong assed self especially since im rockin a fine italian suit, really shows off my frame,m

People r texting each other n ****, soon musta been 1000 outside the club taking pictures begging to get in, guys start shoving some girls and the crews like "**** this" and jump in, start nailing people upside the head, i break out the bats we keep behind the door, cracking skulls all over the ****ing place. women love this ****, im top dog and they cant get enough of me whoopin ass,, im givin them a glimpse of my strong ass face inbetween swings of the blood soaked bat, its like a damn photo shoot.

next thing i know some pussy draws a gun, little T makes a grab and gets hit, good thing the crew wear vests, i dont, i aint got time for that pussy ****, so i go for the guy with a "son, somebody about to get their **** messed up" look on my face i see a flash but dont feel **** since im jacked up with adrenaline, i tackle this guy and the crew goes to work on his skull while i kick his gun down a drain. crowds gone ****ing wild,

Crew locks down the club and calls a doc, girls r all over me crying n ****, im like "i aint got time to bleed" and sip some $1000 champagne with a **** eating grin opn my face, when the docs turn up they couldnt believe their ****ing eyes, turns out my jacked up muscle fibras stopped that 9 in its tracks, like organic body armor or some ****, a normal pussied ass guy woulda hit the bricks and died, a bullet aint **** to 220lbs of coiuled up fibras, you dont gotta be a scientist to know that.

when i say i'm built for this **** i mean it

Timone
06-07-2013, 05:21 PM
listen you cunt, i cant call you fat but i can definitely call you a cunt because you're being one.

you are a fucking pathetic little faggot bitch, and i want you to come to my house and spew the same bullshit you post in here to my face.

oh wait,i dont need to worry about you coming to my house because you would never do it. youll just continue to sit behind a fucking computer screen and act like fucking mike tyson to every guy you meet, when in reality you are a fat virgin neckbeard loser with cheeto dust in his beard and a pillow with a hole in it that you fuck every night

seriously, its so god damn pathetic to just watch people like you. like, i want to try to be angry at you, but honestly i just want to be your friend out of pity because i know you dont have any besides the friends on your wow account.

you should honestly just draft up a suicide note right now and continue adding to it every day little by little as the failures of your life pile up day after day and you wil finally have an entire book worth of your failures and can finally kill yourself and make your family and online friends happy.

of course, you would probably fuck it up and miss your brain stem so you have to shoot yourself in the head 2-3 times while in agony to go out like a wounded dog, or you will try to mix bleach and ammonia but the room will be a bit too ventilated so you weel literally feel the chlorine gas burning away the lining of your lungs and suffer in horrific, unfathomable agony for 5 minutes as you literally burn and melt from the inside out after you start vomiting up your own lungs and liquefied lung begins pouring out of your nose and you slowly suffocate to death.

fucking hate pretentious cunts.

Timone
06-07-2013, 05:23 PM
You are so visibly upset, that you need to create shitpost in my glorious thread in an attempt to raise your self worth.
Come at me you plebian. I am the fucking pinnacle of man, both body and mind. I attend an Ivy league university, completely payed off by scholarships, with the leftover money used to buy myself a RX-7FD and a vintage Fairlady S30 Z with a L28 engine combined with twin turbos. My grade point average is perfect point O. After I finish my dual bachelors I will be accepted straight away into the doctorate program. I will have two doctorate degree's by age twenty-five, owe zero debts, and make more money a year than you will in a lifetime. The funny thing is, this is the average tripfag. There are many who far surpass me.
I also reached God of the internet status recently so now I will be mythified to hell and back and future archaeologists will unearth the internet and will think I was some kind of powerful historical figure.
By the way, do you have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it.
If I ever meet you in real life I'll snap you in half like a chocolate-chip cookie.
Go ahead and reply, doing so only proves my point that you are a bleating fool, laughing behind your screen, flapping these adipous cheeks of yours while your wawa chocolate milk drips all overy your XXXL t-shirt. Do you have any idea of how long you have been there, sitting on this same chair that because of some unknown miracle managed to withstand your massive weight? You have been there for weeks, months, locked up in your room that smells like Doritos and Wawa milk.
You are less admirable than an ant. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You might as well just beg to suck my dick and eat my bodily waste, so that maybe an iota of my greatness could pass onto you.

Timone
06-13-2013, 10:20 PM
I have really bad (very very strong) armpit odor that I cannot get rid of. I've tried every deodorant known to man (crystal salt- solid and liquid, drysol, certain dri, secret, dove, men's deodorants, sports, lady's deodorants, clinical strength) as well as every other tactics known to combat underarm odor (baking soda, milk of magnesia, hydrogen peroxide, vinegar, alcohol, witch hazel, antibacterial soap, take zinc and magnesium, take charcoal tablets, probiotics...) but still can't get rid of it!!!!! None of them work at all! For the past few years and possibly longer, I've pretty much stunk everyday and it sucks. I can't hang out with anyone out of embarrassment and paranoia since, well, it sucks to be the stinky one in the group and I hate it when large groups of people start to act like they have nasal congestion when I am around. I can't concentrate on my school work and I turn down dates and friendship offers since I don't want to leave the house. I don't want to see my relatives either because of my b.o., it is very strong...probably similar to the smell of an overweight man in his 50's who's been stuck in the dessert for a while...or like a fifteen year old boy who just got home from a 6 hours sport practice in 100 degree temperature. The strange thing in all of this is that I am actually quite petite! Currently, I am at 114lbs and 5'3. I used to be 97 lbs, but even then I smelled bad so I know it's not because I gained weight.
I've also gone to a dermatologist who gave me an underarm antibiotic (erythromycin), the kind to rub on skin which didn't even help. I've also taken oral minocycline, which didn't get rid of the smell but gave me g.i. irritation. My family doc gave me a script for drysol, which made me dry but didn't help with odor at all. I am really desperate and need advise on how to get rid of this! I want my life to be normal and I want to be able to worry about my future, my hair, my weight etc (the normal stuff)...not my body odor :( please help. I've been told that I'm pretty hot and guys look at me and try to flirt with me all the time, but I always turn away since it's so embarrassing to be hot and stinky! I also hate people's comments on how I smell too; they hurt my feelings really bad, regardless of how long I've had to deal with this issue. I don't even hang out with my friends and avoid everyone. I hate being a recluse since I like being around people, but I am a pretty sensitive person and can't take comments about how to smell like a fat man...please help me!

BTW, I do notice that my odor is even worse after I eat too much or eat the wrong food (refined carb, junk food, chocolate, coffee...basically, really creamy and rich food). It's also worse when my digestive system acts up or out of sink and when that time of the month comes. I am also pretty active. I do kickboxing at least 3 days a week and I also like to run. I shower everyday, sometimes twice, but the odor is usually still there afterward (maybe it might be gone for about 5 minutes...maybe not, idk). I also shave my armpit but odor would still be there. One thing though, I do have a pretty abnormal diet since I tend to eat a lot of food in one sitting. I have a huge appetite and can/will eat pretty much anything when I eat which is not good since I sometimes get digestive upset but I really can't help my appetite. I also used to get really bad skin (acne) when my diet gets too bad, but it would usually start going away after I quit eating wheat, oat and grain products. I would also get dizzy and tired sometimes after eating, especially if I eat sugary things like chocolate or sweet peanut butter or too much fatty food, or even too much fruits but found out I could cure this with a few miles run on the treadmill so its not a bother to me. I've wondered about food allergies too but I've gotten a food allergies test from a endocrinologist and everything came back negative (I do think I am intolerant to wheat and such grains though since I get acne..ooo and not to mention really bad cramps, bloat and umm...un-lady like disturbances when I eat them). I don't tolerate dairy (mainly ice-cream and yogurt, I can eat some cheese and drink a small quantity of milk...although I don't drink milk much), soy milk nor some fatty foods (avocados, nuts, chocolate, nut butters...) very well either but I do eat them sometimes, with the exception of chocolate-which I love and eat by the gallons- and, my most recent craving-peanut butter with dark chocolate or just plain peanut butter (yum), I do eat those a lot...like probably half a jar a day on top of other foods. I also do eat a lot of meat, probably way more than I should, but I also eat a lot of veggies and fruits too. To make it short, I've always eaten a lot...do you think that might be why?

Timone
06-23-2013, 04:11 AM
Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin' for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don't want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don't even think this is a sex thing, it's all about manhood.

Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.

THIS IS NOT A SEX THING.

Gonna need some basic things/skills, I don't want to be slowed down by fools:

- must be in reasonable shape, if you get winded walking then stay home
- Ed Hardy camping gear, it's really good gear and it's awesome
- desire to be a man among men
- not afraid to wield a blade
- crystal, I'm not sharing mine
- must be able to make a fire
- gloves
- a knowledge of native vegetation (knowledge of psychotropic fungus a plus)
- knowledge of modern music
- protective/splash resistant eye wear
- 5 - 10 of those clip things that rock climbers use


We are gonna need a mobile music device, ipod or something. I'm bringing the music for the firequests and visionquests, Nickleback's The Long Road. I only have it on CD, so I'll have my discman as a last resort, an ipod would be nicer. Just sayin'.


Dont' want to see"

- bad attitudes
- gay/homoerotic behavior, this is a manhood thing. I AM NOT GAY.
- cock rings, can't keep it up w/o help, you aren't gonna make it on this quest
- firearms, there's gonna be enough guns going off and spent shells to pick up
- the nerds/dorks/lames/and anyone less than 100% into manhood.

If you are serious, then I promise you this will be the trip of your life. It will change the way you think. I'm serious, and I AM NOT GAY. To see a group of bros being men, a JO circle by a camp fire. The charge/energy in the air. Crystals get jacked, no lie. You will slip into a different frame of mind, you will feel electric.

Last outing, we had a group that was so charged we attracted bears. It was no deal, nature knew man was in the forest, the crystals gave us the confidence to own those bears. I saw it, I was there.

100% SERIOUS, NO FAKERS

Timone
06-23-2013, 04:18 AM
It's finally happening. This is the moment you have been waiting for your entire life. What's that, you ask? Peace in the Middle East? Well. no. Official word on the Arrested Development movie? I wish! An end to the seemingly insurmountable polarized political climate that has stymied any conceivable progress in our country? Ha!

It's none of these things. But here's what is happening--I am FINALLY getting rid of my entire collection of VHS tapes. Hear me out.

As a kid, I was a huge nerd (or nerdette, as the case may be). A nerd who was obsessed with TV. It's probably inconceivable these days, but there was a time when a kid like me didn't have access to every episode of Full House at my fingertips. Viewers were slaves to the TV lineup. You either saw that episode of Alf when it aired or you had to find out what happened from your classmates at school the next day (for shame!). Armed with my family's VCR, equipped with a state-of-the-art auto-program function, the world was my oyster. I could tape things! And tape I did.

Now you can enjoy such classics as Edward Scissorhands, Children of the Corn, Pretty Woman, and The Great Muppet Caper. But that's not all!! The real beauty of these tapes are the hidden gems that lie within. You may think that you are just watching an ordinary version of Ghostbusters taped off HBO, but stay tuned! After the movie you might be treated to an episode of Growing Pains, followed by a snippet of The Sting! The Sound of Music may be great in and of itself, but think how much improved it is when it's followed by part of Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards from the 1990s and a few choice episodes of The Real World: Season 1! You may pop in Flatliners, only to find out how touching the series finale of Dawson's Creek really is. (Spoiler alert: Jen dies!) These tapes are replete with random episodes of TV shows and snippets of movies. Are you in the market for a VHS tape full of nothing but Buffy, Will and Grace, and Beavis and Butthead? You found it!

Some of the tapes will baffle you with their randomness. Pop in an unlabeled tape and see what you find! It just might be a mish-mash of Behind the Music: Jessica Simpson, South Park, the Jon Stewart Show circa 2004, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and some strange VH1 show starring Pauly Shore.

Did I alienate you with the Pauly Shore reference? Please keep reading. I swear whatever that show was, I did not tape it on purpose. But you know what I did tape on purpose? Every single episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete. There, have I won back your trust and respect? Probably not.

Have I mentioned the news clips and commercials?? Sometimes they are better than the movies! We are talking references to the Clinton presidency (good times!) and the Unibomber while he was still at large!! If you have no idea who the Unibomber is, please stop reading. . .you do not deserve these tapes. The commercials for the "new" Honda Accord will make your own car seem like a friggin' DeLorean. (And yes, Back to the Future is on one of the tapes.)

There's also some personal history in there. If you are really diligent, you might find the news clip that features my sister's 4th grade class in the background in Newark, New Jersey's famous cherry blossom park! My sister was prominently featured, although I have taped over that particular portion with Beetlejuice. But you can still see some of her classmates at the tail end of the broadcast, after Beetlejuice ends.

Words cannot convey how much you need this collection. Hell, I'll even throw in my old VCR FOR FREE with the lot. I'm pretty sure it works and I might even be able to find the remote.

You may wonder why I am getting rid of these tapes. The truth is, at this point in my life they mostly just take up space and prove to be a hassle whenever I move. I need to spread the joy to others who can more fully appreciate them.

Here's the deal: you take these tapes off my hands. I'm giving them away. I do not want anything in return for this kindness. They are conveniently packed into cardboard boxes for easy transporting. But you have to take them ALL. This is an all-or-nothing, take-it-or-leave-it deal. I will throw in the VCR for free.

Timone
06-23-2013, 04:21 AM
Dear Neighbor in Warren -

I'm not gonna shovel out the walk, so you might as well call me in now.

I work 12-14 hour days. My wife left almost a year ago to go relive her college days (she's fucking the third or fourth in a line of grad students at the U of M, from what I hear) and saddled me with the mortgage and car payment. The dog now hates me because he's cooped up in one room all day long when he used to be home with the wife (too busy doing yoga to stay limber for the college studs to get a job when we were together) and could go outside or at least have run of the house all day.

Thanks for the dirty look when I saw you out walking YOUR unleashed shit-machine-on-four-legs this morning. Must be a bitch to be shins deep in the snow while your dog clamors into my yard to leave a steamer in the drift. Noticed you didn't have a bag with you and kind of caught the way you just kept on walking without picking up Rover's turds as I rolled up the hill towards another hourlong commute.

Hey, asshole. Guess what? I'm not an independent consultant or whatever the fuck it is you told me your job is when I was checking out your wife's ass at the neighborhood picnic this Summer. I'm a sales manager. I get up early, go to the office, slug it out listening to salespeople tell me that our customers won't buy our services in this economy (or as I call it, 'whining about shit that's really not my problem') until well after you've had your supper, and typically make it home about the time you're settling in to watch Real Housewives of Orange County or whatever closet cocksucker show you watch after you put little Peyton and Jacinda to bed.

I'm beat when I get home. I eat a sandwich, pet the dog a little, sort the mail, and wish my wife wasn't a cum guzzling whore for a Carlson School of Management's Spring '09 MBA candidates, each of whom is gonna finish fucking my wife, defend a dissertation, get offered a job without having to make a meaningful search, and earn six times more money at age 22 with no experience than I am at age 40 with a BS in marketing and 18 years never once having missed quota for base-plus-ten-percent.

The LAST thing on my mind in these moments of lamentation is putting on the Carhartts and shoveling out the sidewalk when it's -15�. I gotta get up in six hours and get back to the office. I work for a living, and to tell you the truth, when you called the City to complain earlier this year about snow on the sidewalk and I got the $30 WSB invoice from the City for them to come by with their brush-blower, I happily paid it. It was worth the $30 to not have to go out and stand in the wind for 30 minutes.

So this is your fair warning, oh neighbor of mine...might as well call me in now, because it ain't getting any warmer the rest of this week, my job ain't getting any less demanding, and as far as I know, my wife has every intention of continuing to let the next generation of useless MBAs keep screwing her spit-lubricated ass. Which means I have the perfect combination of prohibitive temperatures, discretionary income, and anger at humanity in general to keep paying the city to clear the sidewalk in from of my house well into Spring.

Timone
06-23-2013, 04:33 AM
Oh my god. Oh. My. God.
Grab a paper bag, breathe into it and calm your ass down. You're hyperventilating because you ain't never seen a deal like this before. Now collect yourself, then keep reading this incredible description that barely serves to do justice to my 2010 Felt Gridlock 3 speed fixed gear bike. Yes 3 SPEED FIXED GEAR. Also known as the greatest bike the city has ever had the privilege of existing around.

What makes this bike so much better than every other bike that has ever been pedaled? Glad you asked. It starts with the paint scheme. It looks like Iron Man if Iron Man were a bike. That's bold, son. Curb appeal. It's probably also why some piece of trash stole the front tire that originally came with this beauty. Why didn't he steal the whole bike? Because he knew he wasn't man enough. That's ok, I replaced it with something that looks even more boss. The next thing is the genuine leather seat. My taint has had a love/hate relationship with this particular bit of the machine. But it's got those swanky brass rivets so I can't stay mad that it smashed my prostate and has likely rendered fatherhood impossible. But let's face it, I'd rather have have a bike than a kid.

What else? Let's talk about that three speed in-the-hub, fixed-gear transmission for a second. It's as gnarly as it is exotic. Like the tropical, saw-toothed platypus. Which is a species that does't even exist. Fortunately this crazy ass hub does. It offers 3 speeds, as the name implies. It also offers a terrific chance to introduce that dome of yours to the asphalt if you sleep for one single second on this beotch. So don't trip. Ride safe. Get a helmet and if you've never ridden a fixed gear bike, maybe it's time to move along, young sir because this back tire doesn't flip flop and it doesn't offer any respite. What this bike does offer is a one-way ticket to legits-ville. Find a bowling ball. Then find another one. Your nuts must be at least that big to even consider making this whip the dreamiest object to ever take up too much space in your tiny ass apartment. But you'll be filled with joy once you throw a leg over this flawless piece of American-made* cycling excellence.

What else? Ryan, the paint's a little dinged up. Yeah, well, that's called real life. It comes at you fast, bro. Besides, you really want this glimmering, shimmering sex machine catching the eye of some small time thief? I already told you what happened to the tire. You really don't want to be living your own version of PeeWee's big adventure. Consider the lived-in feel a natural crime deterrent. If this bike were denim jeans, it'd be called "de-stressed" and you'd be paying extra for the privilege. I'm not gonna charge you extra for it, though. Cause I'm not trying to take advantage of you. But you should take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

But, aren't you sad about selling the greatest bike on earth? No. When you ride this bike once it permanently eliminates your ability to feel sad about anything ever again. Even for little puppies who are afraid to walk down the stairs, because the stairs...they're so big, and they're so little. Puppies who are young, but have already discovered the world to be a cold, unforgiving place. But you won't give a shit about it because you'll be on your awesome new bike living the dream.

Ryan, is that a toilet in the background? Yes. Why? Because this bike is the shit. And you've just learned something else about me. That's right, my name is Ryan. And your name is lucky sonofagun if you make the best choice of your life and pay me cold, hard cash for this ridiculous ride.


*Felt bikes are imported from Taiwan. Sorry to burst your bubble, homie, but globalization has been restructuring the way products get manufactured and sold since the 80's. Some believe it's eroding the American middle class. If you're the last to know, sorry for party rocking. Read "The World Is Flat." Form an opinion. Join the dialog. By the way, the book is like 12 years old so this shouldn't be news. Shit's fucked up, but we didn't start the fire. No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it. Now buy this bitchin' ass bike.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/3796206422-3.jpg

Timone
07-12-2013, 05:08 PM
Every time I use my Fleshlight I think how glad I am that I got it. I honestly felt a little weird about it at first, but now here I am writing about it on Yahoo. It's just so much better than your hand. I mean, believe it or not, it just feels really healthy because it's just so much more satisfying. When you're done, you feel like you've just done something really nice and good for yourself. I don't know, it's a whole different experience from using your hand. I mean, I don't think of it as a replacement for sex though, just think of it as much, much better solo time. Your brain and your body crave that engulfing feeling, that being-taken-in kind of feeling—and this will do it. Since it completely engulfs, you get complete contact and friction against your skin and thus more stimulation. I highly recommend the Wonder Wave model as a good first texture to try. ( That's just a link to the texture, don't skip the case, the case is actually important for creating the right amount of pressure.) It's not over-the-top intense, but it's much more interesting than the smooth. (I've owned both.) Personally, I'd steer you away from the original smooth because I think it's a little boring and the worst part is that without any texture, the lube will just flow out easily and you'll risk a friction burn. A lot of guys say it's the closest to the feeling of real sex. I disagree, simply because only sex feels like sex to me, but the Wonder Wave Fleshlight feels really, really, really good. And, it can definitely be used on you by a partner if you're too tired for full sex or looking to spice up handjobs, etc., so it will serve you well beyond just your personal time. So yes, I'd say it is definitely worth it. I don't think you'll regret the purchase and if you follow their instructions on the care, it will last practically forever. You'll feel weird about spending the money on what you spent it on at first, but once you have a couple of good sessions with it, you'll wonder how got by without it. Just be aware that it might take a couple of times using it to get used to it and get the technique down—just like anything else. For the Wonder Wave, especially, I'd say it's best for going real slow and taking your time. (Be sure to try twisting it. That's a crazy feeling also.)

Although I don't have any personal experience with the prostate stimulators, from what I've read I would think that the Bad-Boy ( ) would be the best choice because the indented portions of the contour shape near the base would likely make it more comfortable when the sphincter closes around it. God, sphincter is such a weird word. I can't believe I just typed that. Anyway, that's what I know. Good luck.
Source(s):
I have the Wonder Wave texture ( ) and I think it's great. I actually have a great sex life and have sex two or three times per week, but my drive is over the top and the Fleshlght helps to keep me from being a total pest. And when we want to do something lazy, but still good, we bring out a toy for her and the Fleshlight for me.

Timone
07-27-2013, 11:16 PM
It was last Saturday and I was at the bar. My shitty boss made me work late Friday and then early Saturday morning. Then I was laid off at the end of the day. Needless to say I was pretty upset and in need of a good long night at the bar.

I got there straight from work at 6.30 and sat at the bar. You were a few stools down and there was a few people between us. About 11.30 there was only a few of us left and you moved down to the stool next to me and we casually chatted for the next hour before you started making advances at me. First off, I was very drunk at this point. That's important for you to understand.

Now, one of two things went horribly wrong here. Either I was so drunk that anything I said was impossible to understand or you were too drunk to put two and two together. You see, when I kept saying things like "thank you but I'm not like that" and "I'm not gay" it's because I thought you were a man. So naturally when you(who I thought was a man) tried to kiss me I believed it was time to fight and I punched you. I admit I SHOULD NOT have tried any wwe moves after that but I'm not a very good fighter and I was in attack mode.

Enter the large biker type guys playing pool in the back. If I would have known they were your brothers, I would've made out with you even if I thought you were a dude. Long story short, I hope that my 3 broken ribs and my missing tooth(it's right in the front by the way) are enough to make us even. I would still like to be friends and hopefully we can look back on this and laugh one day. I don't want to date but we can drink beer and lift weights or fish or something. Hope to hear from you

Timone
07-27-2013, 11:18 PM
Dear porn shop/adult store/lingerie boutique customers, here are some fabulous tips on how to not completely irritate me, the poor employee just barely keeping her rage in check behind the counter, also some etiquitte on how to behave in case your mother didn't teach you.

1. For the loud obnoxious 18-25 year olds. Yes I will readily admit that when I see a herd of you coming straight for my door I roll my eyes and groan. First of all lose the fucking attitude when I ask to see your ID. No not your high school id/college id/birth certificate...I need a state issued ID, passports/military ID will also work fine. If you do not have proper identification on your sorry bitch ass, I will, with great pleasure, ask you to leave. Don't get snippy because you haven't been asked before, I AM asking you now, and if you look under the age of 40 I am required to.
Why is it that young kids think it makes them look cooler when they laugh REALLY loud and yell everything at one another. It makes you look pathetic and desperate for approval from your peers. Not to mention it scares away my legitimate customers who would have actually purchased something, had your dumbasses not shown up. Plus you rarely buy anything, probably for fear that daddy's princess will get caught with an illicit purchase on the credit card he no doubt pays for. So please, conduct yourselves as adults when you come in.

2. The fucktard mothers that want to bring their baby/toddler shopping. You bitches have got to be kidding me. IT'S AN ADULT STORE! There are penises everywhere. Do you really want your infant seeing that? Oh wait, ya you guys don't care because as long as you get to come shop for lingerie and dildos, you're happy as little clams. Fuck you. Your baby cannot come in. Don't have a tantrum when I tell you this either. Babysitters were created for a reason, use one!

3. Theifs...you douchebags truly are the bane of my existance. When you steal from me, I actually get bitched at by management. Regardless of the fact that I am alone, busy, and trying to get the store tidied up. Have you morons also failed to realize we have a surveillance system that could rival the pentagon? Seriously I see you put that shit up your shirt, and I'm locking you in and calling Spokane's Finest before you even are done attempting to conceal whatever lube/massage oil/vibrator you decided was worth going to jail for. Which is exactly where you will be going and the owner of my job really likes to press charges, not to mention has equipped his employees with tasers strong enough to take down a water buffalo. Don't fuck with me. That pair of crotchless panties isn't worth it I promise.

4. Don't be nervous about your purchase. Seriously I will not remember you 5 minutes after you walk out the door. You young guys don't need to stare at the pocket pussys for an hour before leaving empty handed. Just buy the thing. I don't give a fuck I promise. Older ladies who are too embarrassed to ask for help, dude chill out. Just tell me what you are looking for so we can both be done with this unpleasant experience. You are the one making this awkward.

5. My darling porn guys, you are great breed of customer for the most part. You come in quietly, find your dvd, and get the hell out. It works well for everyone involved. However there are a few of you that like to "browse" for 2 fucking hours. That is a bit much don't you think? Please just come into the store with a general idea of what you want to jerk it to...cause I have to wait for your fickle ass to leave before I can have a cigarette.

6. Stoners.
You are a wonderful group of customers. You are always pleasant, laugh at my jokes, and usually make a purchase. My only complaint is that at times your guys smell like you're carrying a dead skunk around with you. Roll down your car windows and febreeze friends! Good lord ya'll reek sometimes.

7. Ok this one is bound to piss off some people but IDGAF! At my adult store we try to carry things for the BBW shopper...aka Fatty Friendly store. However please be reasonable when shopping. Lingerie runs small k? I wear a size SM and 6/8 pant at normal stores, at my work I wear a large and usually cannot pull off the boxed lingerie. So no need to scream, cry, or freak out when I recommend that your 240lb ass may not fit into a size medium. Also NO, I do not feel like taking 30 minutes to try to squeeze all your rolls into a corset. Hun, it's not going to help, you will just look like a walrus in rubber bands. Please let me put you in shit that will fit. Your man doesn't care what the tag says, but he will care if you have more rolls than pillsbury coming out of lingerie that is too small.


Please note that for the most part I like my job. It is not my calling in life, but pays the bills while I sort out my 20's a bit. I really do like most of my customers, and enjoy helping others find ways to have a more fulfillng sex life. If you all come in and treat myself and my coworkers with kindness, respect, and are not terrified of us, we will do our best to make it the easiest shopping experience of your life. To the aforementioned groups of people I was ranting about, well you know who you are, fix your shit and come back and see me. I don't remember you anyway.

Timone
08-19-2013, 04:10 PM
Here is the thing man...

When you tell somebody you own a Lotus, even a brand new one. They say wow, cool.

When you say you own a brand new Corvette, jaws drop.

I've had this experience countless times. Why? Because it is America's Sportscar and the dream of every boy born in the good ole USA. You can compare specs, but you can't compare the legendary status and fun you'll have with the flags on the hood.

Tahoe
08-19-2013, 04:14 PM
Just 92...funny as fuck.

Timone
08-19-2013, 04:15 PM
I still lol at most of these. Favorite will always be the M&Ms one.

Tahoe
08-19-2013, 04:16 PM
92 funny cuz it seems like its prolly the truff.

Timone
08-26-2013, 01:43 AM
I can just be browsing the net, or looking through blogs in a mild state of mind, when suddenly I'll read about, or see someone's vacation photos from Hawaii, and then I'll be instantly placed into an aggressive, infuriated state of mind. I'll have the desire to inflict bodily harm upon the people in question, or I'll have the desire to see them suffer from cancer. Only after sometime of brooding will I fall into deep sadness because I can't hurt them without facing consequences, or that they're leading happy, misery free lives, and getting to go to Hawaii while I'm miserable and helpless being forced to witness the happiness of other people. It's like whenever I see other people getting to go to Hawaii it instantly dehumanizes them in my eyes and makes them the most evil wretches on the planet, and hurts me immensely, leaving me not wanting to live anymore. What is wrong with me? And why is paradise my hell?

I don't know if I'm depressed, or even mentally ill, but I often feel anger and sadness. Below is an assortment of things I've posted elsewhere at different times, in different moods, yet couldn't get any answers.

12 days ago

I'm 26, yet I feel as if I've never been alive. I can't recall any positive memories, just pain and drudgery. I feel trapped on the sidelines forced to watch the world go by, looking on with envious contempt of those having the ride of their lives. Every day that stretches on is another hazy gray at best, a real downer at worst. My reprieve comes not from happiness, but from the next chemical dampener. I'm not suicidal, just downtrodden and idle with seemingly no way up and on, just down and out. What is the point of life when it rewards so few, yet leaves most of us cold and blue.

8 days ago

I feel as though I'm constantly obsessed with what others are doing, or where they are going, and not really focusing on my own direction. I used to browse facebook until the constant bombardment of achievements and destinations visited by former classmates and family left me the envious, bitter, angry man I am now. While they left I remained inside my little box, comparing myself to their accomplishments because I had, and still have nothing of my own, but the resentment and inadequacy brought on by success that is not mine. My days are spent in perpetual self pity, and obsession over how I might follow their tail fumes by copying what they did, or going where they went, not because I wanted to, but because I thought if they did then I should be able to do it. As I type this, I have no real achievements; no ambition other than to prevent others from doing what they want, lest it hurt me; no feeling other than bitter envy, and deep sadness. My only hope is to someday one up them, and have something to rub in their faces. I'm empty, I don't exist, I'm defined by how others make me feel, and I have nothing of my own. How can I break this cycle, and find my own path?

15 hours ago

Do you ever find yourself flipping through channels, or browsing through forums, until you find something that levels you, as if being punched in the gut and descending from your previous mental state into a combination of rage/sadness/desperation instantly? This happens to me quite often, and it f***ing hurts. My trigger for these episodes is rather embarrassing, but it brings about the gloominess with much intensity. This trigger is a place, but it's the symbolism of this place that is the key. A symbol of paradise for people of means to escape from the world, and leave behind everyone else for their own joy seeking. When I stumble upon these triggers, and am forced to acknowledge the place and see those people experiencing it, I just want nothing more than to see them suffer for causing me pain. I want to see them get cancer, lose an offspring, develop a life ruining addiction, etc. I want them to live in misery for making me hurt by seeing them in that place living well. It's not about their richness of material that hurts, it's about their richness of life and experience that is agonizing. Does anyone else experience this?

What, if anything, is my problem?

I have an extreme aversion to a certain place with an area code that is 808. Just a mention of it can shift my mood to one of two states: sadness or fury. I have had this problem for over three years now, with no improvement.

Starting in 2009 I had decided to start using facebook, and discovered two old classmates had been deployed to 808 as a servicemember and dependent respectively. This didn't really effect me too severely, but what happened in spring 2010 left me in my current state. It was a cousin that went there, and for whatever reason it shattered my psyche. It was litterally as if something in my mind shattered. Upon seeing that, it was like the sound of glass fracturing into pieces in my head. I instantly left the computer in a state of shock that turned into drunken melancholy as the day progressed. It made me start drinking regularly and having terrible mood swings. I know not why this had such effect, but as a result every mention of 808 reminds me of this trauma, and hurts like the wound is still fresh.

I mentioned how this has made me prone to mood swings, and has given me the need drown out the pain with alcohol when it is unbearable, but it's even worse. When ever I accidentally happen upon images of people there it makes me think homicidal thoughts. Whether they be on tv, the internet, magazines, but just seeing these wretched, awful people enjoying themselves there hurts me considerably, and makes me want to seek revenge for the pain they cause me. This has really made my crappy life even worse.

I fear that this may end up costing me my freedom, or life. Just the absolute rage I feel towards anyone, be they rich celebrities, or your grand parents, that has been there makes me fear that if I came across someone like that I would lose control and hurt them, or worse. I guess fear and a small glimmer of false hope keep me from acting on my passions.

I post this in the hopes that there is someone who understands this, or has these same feelings, and managed to overcome them. I would seek help if it weren't for the fact that I'm poor and uninsured, plus mental healthcare sucks in this country.

Whenever doctors ask if I ever feel like hurting anyone I lie. What do they do if I admit that I constantly feel like hurting others, and that I feel like I'm never far away from just boiling over? I've heard that they get the police involved. I don't feel like a criminal, and don't deserve to be treated like a criminal. That would be like a betrayal, and may make me seek to harm the doctor as well. How exactly is one supposed be honest about what's inside his head when we live in a society that treats mental health as a joke, and uses violence to just lock it away? I seek help, not persecution!

Timone
10-18-2013, 07:23 PM
All of these people. .from the media to politicians get money from the. war mongers(Northrop- Grumman...etc) ....This government shut down was no coincidence. ..these are pre-paid wars...these things are calculated on Black Flag occurrences and they have nothing to do with lack of money...War is big business. ..I agree with Samantha...there is no romanticizing the issue...world domination has never been laid to rest...the "American dream" is just that...a dream...brainwashing...control.....Take for instance...one of the top members of the CDC was just arrested on charges of molestation and bestiality. ..a woman now....she also sits on the board that allots 1.6 billion dollars for terrorism preparedness.....Now.....due to us not bombing Syria...and pissing off alot of people with alot of money predetermined for war....where do you think the money should come from?? Now assume this woman said "No..we'll not have you coming in our coffers..."... So they put false charges on her...and how much money did the media say the shutdown was going to cost?? 1.6 billion dollars.....Hmmmmm??!!?? Now..the CDC as you know is the organization that makes sure everything you ingest..inject...breathe is safe....Syria was "chemical warfare"... now...I believe we are in the "hide under your desk" phase...mark my words this shutdown was a regrouping....a take the money and sit on it....These organizations...these politicians. ..these war mongers are planning a cull of the American people...there are truly too many of us...too many to control...."Black Flag tactics" you can bet there will be a chemical attack...some assault...some pandemic...and the gov, will no doubt blame it on some external source. ..some cause to shake their finger and say Told you so to the American people....I saw the presidential address...He says "We'll ask Congress...but if we do not act these countries will feel it ok to attack us" ....I knew right away.....Ach...the hole is deep folks...kiss your kids.....War is money...and people are waking up.....All of these people are given money in a manifest destiny..manifest tragedy.....It's so bad....

Timone
12-21-2013, 10:51 PM
https://24.media.tumblr.com/3fe7516e96477baaeb6f6d9f9f212134/tumblr_mwedduk21G1t1d5qgo1_1280.jpg

Gotta remember to use this.

Timone
12-21-2013, 10:55 PM
Strolling, rolling, bounding, bouncing across Europe, people often ask me what it means to be an American. I tell ‘em it’s triumph. Triumph. Triumph when we nuke our enemies. Triumph when when peer down from the moon and laugh heartily at Russia. Triumph when we depose one dictator after another. Triumph when we break into the homes of terrorist kingpins on the other side of Earth and shoot them in the face. Triumph when we use flying robots to bomb other terrorists in Afghanistan, and other nuclear robots to explore Mars. Triumph when we free Europe from Nazis. Triumph. Triumph. Triumph.

But it’s not just the the big things, see? It’s the way I can set up lawn chairs at my friends house on the Texas Rio Grande and share a toast to freedom while watching Mexicans charge into gunfire to enter my country. It’s the way an Italian cabbie sits up straight and floors the gas when he hears my accent. It’s seeing the wide eyes and bead of sweat running down the forehead of a German customs agent when he opens my passport. It’s the way a French waiter hangs his head when I refuse the wine and ask for Coke instead, in English knowing full well he understands me (and that they have it). The way an Aussie blushes and leans into the urinal next to me in the bathroom, or the scowl that meets my smirk when I tip an English waiter in US dollars covered with Washington’s face. The way small mobs of Canadian school children follow me from a distance to see what a free man looks like, or how heads timidly rise and women gather when my accent stops the music in the clubs of Amsterdam.

Triumph. Every bit of it, triumph. That’s what it means to be an American.

Vinny
12-21-2013, 11:09 PM
Strolling, rolling, bounding, bouncing across Europe, people often ask me what it means to be an American. I tell ‘em it’s triumph. Triumph. Triumph when we nuke our enemies. Triumph when when peer down from the moon and laugh heartily at Russia. Triumph when we depose one dictator after another. Triumph when we break into the homes of terrorist kingpins on the other side of Earth and shoot them in the face. Triumph when we use flying robots to bomb other terrorists in Afghanistan, and other nuclear robots to explore Mars. Triumph when we free Europe from Nazis. Triumph. Triumph. Triumph.

But it’s not just the the big things, see? It’s the way I can set up lawn chairs at my friends house on the Texas Rio Grande and share a toast to freedom while watching Mexicans charge into gunfire to enter my country. It’s the way an Italian cabbie sits up straight and floors the gas when he hears my accent. It’s seeing the wide eyes and bead of sweat running down the forehead of a German customs agent when he opens my passport. It’s the way a French waiter hangs his head when I refuse the wine and ask for Coke instead, in English knowing full well he understands me (and that they have it). The way an Aussie blushes and leans into the urinal next to me in the bathroom, or the scowl that meets my smirk when I tip an English waiter in US dollars covered with Washington’s face. The way small mobs of Canadian school children follow me from a distance to see what a free man looks like, or how heads timidly rise and women gather when my accent stops the music in the clubs of Amsterdam.

Triumph. Every bit of it, triumph. That’s what it means to be an American.

TRIUMPH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz26fcmq3S8

OH CANADA! Yes, I know.Suck it Glan.

Timone
04-22-2014, 10:45 PM
...I think.
The code could be better, but it could also be worse. It was written to be understandable, rather than terse - for that, see the writeup below. There you can see an interpreter done in 3 lines of obfuscated C. (Which is cool, but consider which one is easier to debug or maintain :-P) This would probably make for a good tournament of Perl Golf.
That said:

import java.io.InputStream;
import java.io.PrintStream;
import java.io.File;
import java.io.FileInputStream;
import java.io.IOException;
import java.util.ArrayList;
import java.util.Stack;
class Brainfuck {
InputStream input;
PrintStream output;
ArrayList infiniteTape;
int headPosition;
Brainfuck( InputStream in, PrintStream out ) {
input = in;
output = out;
infiniteTape = new ArrayList();
for( int i = 0; i != 50; i++ ) infiniteTape.add( new Byte( (byte)0x00 ) );
headPosition = 0;
}
void interpret( byte[] code ) throws IOException {
int instructionPointer = 0;
Stack nestedLoops = new Stack();
while( instructionPointer != code.length ) switch( code[instructionPointer] ) {
case '>' :
headPosition++;
if( headPosition >= infiniteTape.size() ) stretchTapeEnd();
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '<' :
headPosition--;
if( headPosition <= 0 ) stretchTapeStart();
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '+' :
setSymbol( (byte)(getSymbol() + 0x01) );
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '-' :
setSymbol( (byte)(getSymbol() - 0x01) );
instructionPointer++;
break;
case ',' :
setSymbol( (byte)input.read() );
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '.' :
output.print( (char)getSymbol() );
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '[' :
if( getSymbol() != 0x00 ) {
nestedLoops.push( new Integer( ++instructionPointer ) );
} else instructionPointer = skipLoop( code, instructionPointer );
break;
case ']' :
if( nestedLoops.size() == 0 )
throw new IOException ("mismatched ]");
if( getSymbol() != (byte)0x00 ) {
instructionPointer = ((Integer)nestedLoops.peek()).intValue();
} else {
nestedLoops.pop();
instructionPointer++;
}
break;
default : instructionPointer++; break;
}
}
byte getSymbol() {
Byte symbol = (Byte)infiniteTape.get( headPosition );
return symbol.byteValue();
}
void setSymbol( byte value ) {
Byte symbol = new Byte( value );
infiniteTape.set( headPosition, symbol );
}
void stretchTapeEnd() {
for( int i = 0; i != 20; i++ )
infiniteTape.add( new Byte( (byte)0x00 ) );
}
void stretchTapeStart() {
for( int i = 0; i != 20; i++ )
infiniteTape.add( 0, new Byte( (byte)0x00 ) );
headPosition += 20;
}
int skipLoop( byte[] code, int from ) {
int subLoops = 0;
do switch( code[++from] ) {
case '[' : subLoops++; break;
case ']' : subLoops--; break;
default : break;
} while( subLoops != -1 );
return ++from;
}
public static void main( String[] args ) throws IOException {
byte[] code;
if( args.length < 1 ) {
System.out.println( "Usage: java Brainfuck file.b" );
return;
}
File brainfuckFile = new File( args[0] );
if( !brainfuckFile.exists() ) {
System.out.println( args[0] + " does not exist" );
return;
}
code = new byte[(int)brainfuckFile.length()];
FileInputStream fileIn = new FileInputStream( brainfuckFile );
for( int i = 0; i != code.length; i++ ) code[i] = (byte)fileIn.read();
fileIn.close();
Brainfuck interpreter = new Brainfuck( System.in, System.out );
interpreter.interpret( code );
}

Uncle Mxy
04-28-2014, 07:11 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck

Timone
06-26-2014, 09:16 AM
the reason i am staying away from occults and satanists and worshippers of entities which represent evil is quite clear. i am a warrior of light. i have lost a relative to aleister crowley’s cult. he was so brainwashed he believed he had to sacrifice a family member for the cause of whatever it was that they believed in. he killed his grandfather, my father’s grandfather. then he killed himself. stay away from dark cults, kids. i say this from personal experience. open your eyes to the truth. stay alert, always beware. there is much evil in this world, even when it is sugarcoated in wisdom and beauty. question everything. i do not want anyone to go through the pain my family went through.

Timone
06-26-2014, 09:32 AM
Usually when people talk shit, I just brush it off, but now, it's gone a little to far. Assclown, you talk as you know me but in reality you don't know shit about me. I'm guessing you've never been in a situation involving a real live thug that was born and raised in the ghetto/hood(me). Yes i've turned my life to good, but i will throw all that out the window if you continue to talk shit about me. I've killed a few people back in my banging days and Just remember next time before you open your mouth, you better be praying that i'm in a good mood, or else you'll be in for a rude awakening when the thug in me unleashes.

Timone
06-26-2014, 09:33 AM
I saw you here after the Superbowl. You know I'm talking about Niner fans in general. Your entire fanbase is all mouth, and then once they lose the game, they're off hiding again, and bragging about their rings from the 1980's as if anyone other than Niner fans cares about that. It's like bragging about having all the New Kids on the Block albums on cassette.

As to Stevie Johnson... great trade for the 49ers. No doubt about it.

But the games are played during the season. And the 49ers haven't won anything. You all seem to forget who is the Reigning World Champions. Show some respect and save that little boy "yap yap" for the other puppies. This is Big Dog country right here. Y'all are nothin' but pups and you don't scare anyone in Seattle. We've watched the Niners yappin off at the gums for the last 3 years and do NOTHING. Your team isn't even man enough to admit when they get beat down. You haven't earned any respect, and your team is irrelevant to us. We own you. That is fact.

Acquiring a great WR doesn't put you in our league. Winning a championship NOW puts you even with us. Until then, you all keep licking our boots and acting tough. It's good for a laugh.

translation: "I really live in Ohio"

Timone
06-26-2014, 09:38 AM
English is your second language, isn't it? You don't have a first. Your post is an **** of stultifying cacophonous verbal depravity; an exercise in literary impotence, and an offense to all of good taste and decency.

It's just as well you can type, for if you had to speak your mind, you'd be speechless. If ignorance were a disability, you'd get the full pension. Anyway, who was talking to you or even taking you under consideration? As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

:sirdouche:

Uncle Mxy
06-26-2014, 01:24 PM
mercyclinton668

Timone
06-27-2014, 01:24 AM
Asking vegans to respect your decision to eat meat is on par with asking feminists to respect sexists and so on.. It is ludicrous to think that different opinions warrant mutual respect. Especially when the opposing opinion not only stands for everything you are against but appropriates suffering, defends oppression and encourages exploitation.

Timone
08-18-2014, 08:58 AM
It's the fault of most American women that adult American males are given the option of being total geeks or being alone. You see...all the qualities that would help America and lead to the American dream being achieved for so many millions...are considered nerdy. Physicists are looked down on in America. Physicists! Community volunteers are considered wimps. Kindness and modesty as well. Compromise. Peace. All that stuff is frowned upon. Thanks to American women. And thus, not only does nothing function properly whether it's mechanical or administrative or even judicial in this country, but absolutely nobody can bare to take responsibility for these failures when they cause them. We men here are pricks, that's for sure...but we just like to have respect and/or alot of sex. We don't have this biological predication to sink the world the way American womankind does. Oh they'll swear up and down that you don't know what you're talking about and how dare you if you ever point this out...which further assures the problem will only get worse. I'm not saying a woman doesn't have a right to get guys to compete over them...but keep in mind ladies that most guys are idiots, and given that they all want to impress you, you have to expect to see alot of idiotic and thoughtless actions on the part of stupid, greedy, heartless men. Essentially on your behalf.

Timone
08-29-2014, 07:21 PM
I myself have been granted a National Archives researchers card with the National Archives and the records and researchers administration in Washington DC. I personally met with someone who works for Edward Snowden's lawyer on a trip to DC to do research(I don't have both the library of Congress card and the national Archives card that he has, just the National Archives one)along with an author of a book about the Knights of the Golden Circle, I stayed at a relative's home who was the CEO of her own Corporation in DC for 17 years doing work with Skull and Bones and Rhodes Scholars, and I have become personally acquainted with a Rockefeller.

When it comes to conspiracies or conspiracy theories, I have virtually heard it all.
I've been doing serious research into geo-politics for years, and some of this has included
conspiracies and conspiracy theories. I think I've heard about 300 conspiracies overall,
and I have come to believe reasonably, logically, rationally, and factually, that about 50 of
them are true. Of that 50, about 20 of them are really big and sound like what skeptics would call "crazy", but the slightest bit of research (books and documents, not TV, not the internet, not youtube videos, not facebook, not cherry-picking, ect) would still authenticate them.


There exists ignorance on all sides of the spectrum. The people who preach that every celebrity death are an illuminati sacrafice and that celebrities are "members" of the illuminati are ignorant. Also, the people who describe those who believe in the existence of the illuminati, like myself, as "crazy conspiracy theorists" are also ignorant.

I know for a fact that the Illuminati are real. However, most of what people think about them is wrong. The illuminati, from what I can tell, are not so much a secret society with secret meetings (they only started that way in 1776), ect, but rather the illuminati are a social class, the elite social class. Another words, there exists an elite "aristocratic" international social class, that functions just like any elite social class have historically functioned for anyone studying sociology, but have been coined with a term called "Illuminati", which means "the enlightened ones", because of their principles and traditions. Now I say that they function the same way that most elite social classes have functioned, and I'm sure that a conspiri-tainment person will get upset at me, but, keep in mind, that most of the destructive actions and behaviors that are studied about the illuminati, are in fact,
actions and behaviors that elite social classes have engaged in for millenia. Another words, if you find evil actions with the illuminati, they do so because elite social classes themselves always engage in evil actions.

With that said, if you get your sources from youtube, the internet, and especially TV, then everything that you've heard about the Illuminati is misinformation. Atleast one problem is that the general public in the United States idolizes celebrities too much, feeling that they are more likelyto be MEMBERS of the Illuminati. I personally have not seen any evidence that any celebrity in entertainment is an actual MEMBER of the illuminati, not
every kid that paints a swastika on a locker is an actual member of the nazi party, however, that doesn't remedy the faultiness of their activity. However, unfortunately,
it has become fashonable for celebrities to pose as if they are a part of this, which is like posing as a Nazi, without actually being one, just for controversy and money,
which in my opinion, is still tasteless. With that said, not every "eye-cover" is some illuminati reference, and even if you do see references to the illuminti in music videos
and cartoons, it is fruitless to do all of your research by watching music videos and cartoons when you can get your hands on things with much more meat.

So, I understand the resentment but I don't understand the hate. I understand the resentment because the vast majority of the people who preach on the Illuminati have no idea how to do research, don't read books, don't read de-classified documents, don't use logic, ect. They can't even name the person who is said to have begun the modernization of the process or where it even took place.

I personally have met only a handful of people who have done atleast semi-serious research on this. Almost everyone else that I have met that claims knowledge on this usually turns out to be someone interested in "conspira-tainment". they are only interested in scary stories and the entertainment value to get their rocks off, then when they get bored, they stop,
and they have the audacity to go out there and speak on a topic with zeal jut because it impulsively feels right to them. Believe me, I understand the resentment. It's the reason why I see so much hate in this very thread, because of the misinformation.

But, I don't understand the hate, because people need to realize that it's bigotry to identify the irrational as representing the rational. There exists ignorance on all sides of the spectrum.

Timone
08-29-2014, 07:25 PM
I partially agree with you Chaz, and I partially disagree with you. On the parts that I disagree with you on, I think you are reiterating his point. Firstly, there are objective, and subjective opinions. One is epistemological, and one is not. "Chocolate is better than vanilla" is a subjective opinion: There is no right or wrong answer because the statement is left unfinished in order for it to be objective. "The Earth exists" is an objective opinion, it is either right or wrong, as the earth cannot both exists and not exist at the same time. Forgive me as I am not nit-picking, this is an important point.

Secondly, about Sandy Hook being a false flag, this is something specific: False Flag. A person can believe that there exists (or could exist) lies about the narrative without jumping to the conclusion of false flag (though you'll get a lot of black and white thinking from youtube). I personally don't think there's anything abnormal in the thinking of a well-read person who believes that the media only draws attention to tragedies that have political implications more so than even worse tragedies that have little political implications, where urban black children get shot and killed every day in Harlem NY and the Bronx without media attention, but suburban white school shootings get all the attention in the world (as if this were somehow more "precious"), complete with sick actions by the media, like taking pictures of the grieving children and their pain without giving them a hug.

Thirdly, the ldea of Sandy Hook being specifically a False Flag may be outrageously inaccurate, but the ldea that a legitimate tragedy itself can be used for a political agenda like gun control, is not inaccurate at all. I disagree with your lumping the two together.

Forth. I disagree with your assertion that being inaccurate makes you a "d*ck". A person can be wrong in their belief without having malicious intent.

Fifth. Even given the idea of False Flags (not assuming that Sandy Hook was such an event), I disagree with your equating the belief in false flags with evil government fan fiction. There is no doubt that evil government fan fiction exists on the internet. There is also no doubt that false flag terror exists as well. The two need not be equated with one another, it is an arrogant association to make which is what his point was all about. I myself do not believe that Sandy Hook was a false flag in any of the traditional senses, but I do believe there is an agenda with the media believing that suburban massacres are "newsworthy" because of political connotations first, and caring about human beings second, and the corporations who own the media using their dishonest culture for more social control.

Uncle Mxy
08-29-2014, 09:24 PM
8/29/2015

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Timone
09-09-2014, 05:53 AM
1993's "Son in Law" was not only a major milestone in the annals of filmmaking, but also in the study of the human condition itself. With beguiling plot turns, intricate character developments, an ending that is sure to make the most savvy and skeptical viewers astonished, all draped behind a kafkaesque story of the protagonist Crawl, "Son in Law" succeeds on many levels. While noticeably overlooked in the year's Academy Awards and Golden Globes presentations, to the chagrin of critics, fans, and lay people alike, "Son in Law" has proven itself to be a movie that can stand alone of its own merits, and is likely to stand the test of time as a classic for decades to come.

Uncle Mxy
09-09-2014, 06:31 AM
pamsdnnhi

Timone
11-10-2014, 07:50 AM
The year? 1972 ...
The place? Quang Tri, Vietnam, just off Route 9 ...

The sun doesn’t so much rise in Vietnam as it’s just there, in all of it’s splendid heat and yellow glory, commanding the temperature to rise to around 98 degrees at six in the morning. Cargo choppers were already straining under the weight of their sling loads, the noise could be deafening ... I ran both hands across the top of my head, through my newly short cropped hair, and sat on the edge of my rack staring at nothing ... till my boots came into view. I’d gotten one on, then found the other had a knot in the lace ... I fooled with the knot for about five minutes before throwing it against the wall, only to have the boot bounce right back in front of me. I pulled my knife from under my pillow and sliced the lace ... as I was putting in another, a new sound was pouring across the base from someone’s stereo ... I listened, not knowing it was Steely Dan’s “Dirty Work,” and “Kings” followed, with its blistering guitar solo as I pulled on my OD green tee shirt, half hearing, half feeling, but acutely aware of a new groove by the time “Midnite Cruiser” worked its way into my morning brain.

I slipped my 38 into my pocket and headed off in the direction of one the Quonset Hut’s that served as operating rooms and recovery centers, looking over my shoulder in the direction of this sweet new sound as I waked across dusty baked red clay. I pushed through the double doors like a gunslinger from a cowboy movie ... signed in, and asked the PFC on duty if he knew anything about the new album Steveo was playing. “Yeah,” he said! “It’s Steely Dan, aren’t they great?” “What do you think the chances are of getting him to make us a copy,” I asked. “O Man ... Captain, you know the guys ‘id do anything for you.” “Well, go see him and get yourself some breakfast on the way,” I smiled looking over the roster. “What are you staring at,” I asked? “Your hair cut. Has the Colonel seen that yet?” “No, but he doesn’t have to wear it either,” said I.

“Can’t By A Thrill” became my album, every song sounded as if it had been written just for me, just for this place on the other side of the world ... it was like nothing I had ever heard before ... there was an intelligence to it, a magnificent specter of colour and images. There were chord changes equal to anything those high class jazz snobs could hope for ... there was a sense of desperation, a sense of confusion and despair ... but it was all presented in a manner that left one with the notion that this insanity, both expressed in the music, and where I was, were only momentary ... that I would one day rise above all of this, and that this record was going to be part of my musical landscape for the rest of my life.

Seldom in our lives are there such personal works of music, that speak so intimately into our ears ... music that lays out lyrics with such openness and truth. I had left the States with the Psychedelic 60’s burning in my head, and here in Vietnam in 1972 ... I knew the world I'd be returning to, would be a much different place.

*** This is one of those albums where if you ain't listen' to in on vinyl, you ain't really listen' to it at all. And the album title? It's a direct lift from the Dylan song, "It Takes A Lot to Laugh ..."

Mr. Oobir
03-14-2015, 06:23 PM
Branden R.
2/21/2015 3:33:36 PM
Tech Level: Somewhat High
Ownership: 1 week to 1 month
Verified Owner


5 out of 5 eggs
U.S Tampering and LET Hacking

This review is from: CyberPower CP1500PFCLCD - PFC Sinewave UPS Systems - Pure Sine Wave | 100% Active PFC compatible

Pros: I will let you all know how this works in response to protecting your computer parts from the new NSA,FBI,U.S hacking and mass surveillance program. As of now all items in minority homes or internet users homes are being filtered by kb updates if you have microsoft OS. As recently release a firmware program is hardwired to allow a backdoor into the OS by giving untraceable access to OS. it is basically a non-gui function that allows the OS to be undermined by being installed on a plugged harddrive. The result is constant surveillance from either internet or from the new LET access or Shadow Copy Surveillance. This allows screen viewing and other types of access by having the computer plugged into a outlet. As shown in DEFCON all computers can be hacked and have remote veiwing access via AC/DC conversion on a utility line in addition to the internet now.

Im testing this out to see if the unit can reduce the deliberate surges and CPU damage received from the hacking both line attenuation and LET attenuation into the CPU from satellites or radio signals intelligence. So far the unit works great, seems to be doing its job.

Cons: The unit does not stop SGEMP attacks from the U.S, or LET attacks and oversurges from generalized field static they are using to attenuate high density signals into power boxes and power supplies. Anything with a idle setting and power storage features is prone to assault including any items in the home with a power box receiving AC/DC.

Other Thoughts: The world is becoming a pathetic place, they want to have you live naked and out in the open and eugenics and segregation is back in style again. Inappropriate comment but, you all have been warned, surveillance and voyeurism is out of control and obsessed nerds need to make a statement about their ability off of your life and property.

0 out of 10 people found this review helpful. Did you? Yes No

Timone
03-14-2015, 06:28 PM
"Branden"

Timone
03-19-2015, 11:43 PM
Ok, I'm getting emotional here. Because y'all are having this problem, too, and it's not just me. I was beginning to think this was something that I, alone, was having to deal with, and I didn't know who to turn to to ask if it's something others experience.So, what can I do about this? Like the OP said, the toilet paper never seems to come clean. I wipe and wipe and wipe. And, there's still something there. I'm spending so much time in the bathroom these days - I know my family is wondering why it takes me so long to go. But, it's because I'm having to wipe so much. It takes so long. And, I STILL am not totally clean when I finish.So, it really is yet another IBS thing? That's why it's happening?Give me ideas on what to do about it. At home, I'm using flushable wipes, but I don't always have those out and about. Wet toilet paper falls apart.Help!

Timone
05-01-2015, 04:35 AM
For all you under 18 guys lurking this blog-you know you are there, despite the NSFW tag-here is your lesson for the day. I got laid more in this car when I was 16-17 than in any other car I owned since. Looks crappy right? May be. So why was it that I couldn’t keep girls out of it, and they were always willing whenever the opportunity presented itself?

Here is the first secret: It was COMFORTABLE. Girls like being COMFORTABLE.

It had huge bench seats front and back. The front seat was a 60/40 split, the passenger had their own controls. The back seat was a cave-you could stack many, many bodies back there.
It had air conditioning. The air conditioning worked. This was a car made at a time when factory air was rarely seen. The A/C blew so cold that you could hang meat in there.
It rode nice. Look at it. It’s a boat. No matter how bad the roads were the ride was awesome; the engine and drive train were flawless. It was like being in a new Cadillac.

Here is the second secret: They ALWAYS got theirs too. I was a curious teen, and horny as fuck. I was not big on beating my meat, but I was fascinated by the female body and how it worked for years before I drove this car. Before there was an internet it was hard to study the sex organs of humans, so I ripped off playboy magazines, old porn rags, I read encyclopedias, dictionaries, and school texts. I knew what each part of a girl’s crotch did, where it was, and how they were connected. I was not afraid to stick my face in it either, and that was fair because they stuck their face in mine. I made sure that every time a girl got in that car she had a chance to have an orgasm, even if I did not. They liked that. A LOT.

Here is the third secret: I was always prepared. I always had condoms. Didn’t always use them. But they were in the car. That was always her choice. There was a roll of paper towels. Wet naps. Pillows. No female wants to have to walk around for hours with your slime rubbing all over her labia and panties. Young girls don’t want to risk their mother finding out when the laundry is being done. Always be ready and have clean up items.

Here is the last, and most important secret: I NEVER EVER TALKED ABOUT WHAT WE DID WITH ANYONE BUT THE GIRL INVOLVED AND ONLY WHEN SHE BROUGHT IT UP. To this day girls feel like they have a reputation to protect. They have Dads who will kill someone if they find out their daughter has been having sex. They have friends that aren’t friends who want mud to smear around. DON’T BE THE DOUCHE THAT BRAGS. Once the word is out that you talk you will not get laid again until after college.


Get it and you will get it, guaranteed.

Mr. Oobir
05-02-2015, 08:16 PM
Most helpful critical review

0 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3 stars
it's
By Rufeng linon September 12, 2014
it's okay

Timone
01-06-2016, 12:16 PM
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

Vinny
01-06-2016, 01:20 PM
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

Timone
01-09-2016, 06:50 PM
You think Aries is Aggressive I think they are Passionate

You think Taurus is Lazy I think they are Patient

You think Gemini is Annoying I think they are Knowledgeable

You think Cancer is Sensitive I think they are Intuitive

You think Leo is a Show Off I think they are Proud

You think Virgo is Bossy I think they are Leaders

You think Libra is Indecisive I think they are Thoughtful

You think Scorpio is Mean I think they are Honest

You think Sagittarius is Careless I think they are Adventures

You think Capricorn is Uptight I think they are Responsible

You think Aquarius is Reckless I think they are Vivacious

You think Pisces is Spacey I think they are Dreamy

Vinny
05-14-2016, 02:08 PM
I love how people are calling Kylo weak when he has demonstrated a stronger side as a Force user. No jedi could hold a blaster laser in mid air for that long while still communicating with others. Master Yoda could probably deflect it but not hold it midair.
Moreover,which other Sith or Jedi could force mind read and control like how Kylo did?

You see Chewy and Han Solo using the bow-like blaster and destroy people with it. Well Kylo took a hit and still manage to fight Finn and Rey.

He is imo the most interesting Villian yet.

Timone
05-14-2016, 03:40 PM
You know May the 4th was with that person.

Uncle Mxy
05-15-2016, 02:57 PM
http://www.annchristy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/ScambookInside-Edited.png

Timone
05-16-2016, 07:15 PM
I really hope you guys can un-fuck your party like the GOP has because if the establishment is allowed to exist on either side then we both lose in the end!

Like I said though, I firmly believe that Bernie would beat Trump and I'm saying that as a rabid Trump supporter. It's too bad the DNC can't see it or they'd be all over Bernie. It's like they want to lose. Sad!

Uncle Mxy
05-21-2016, 06:50 AM
From: Flora <first.date@hotlove.us>

Hello! How are you doing? Don't be amazed that you got this letter... Honestly
saying, I'm very tired of looking at happy couples. I want to be loved since I
have forgotten how is it to feel warmth and amorousness. I would like to fall
in love and go on dates with someone. I think it's wonderful to have a romantic
dinner or cook breakfast together. Unfortunately, I'm still in search of my
beloved. But I feel that you are my life partner. I will care for you and love
you. Just give me an opportunity. Please, don't leave me alone. I need you
extremely. If you also desire to have love affair, write to me without
hesitations. I will be really happy to receive an e-mail from you. I can send
you my photo. That's all, I must go. I couldn't wait. Best wishes, your life
partner. we are waiting for you

I suspect that last part is true.

Timone
05-30-2016, 11:19 AM
He (David Byrne)’s a genuine eccentric,” says Eno. “He’s always been exactly like that, and I’ve seen him remain like that in quite extreme situations. For instance, we were mugged together once in New York. It was quite frightening; we were mugged by 14 people. My enduring memory is of David being dragged off into the bushes, saying ‘Uh-oh!’ That’s absolutely true; it was like a cartoon scene.

lol'd

Timone
05-30-2016, 11:20 AM
Uh-oh!

Timone
05-31-2016, 11:41 AM
As a Former Active Duty US Marine and a Disabled Veteran, I want you to know that when I joined the Marines back in 95’ I did so under a strict Code of Ethics. Truth, Honor and Justice. This Code was inspired by Steve Rogers. I knew I could never be the person he was, I just wasn’t mentally built for it, but it gave me something to strive for. Yes, the Character of Stever Rogers AKA Captain America is a fictional one, but it is also one that emboydies what the Idea Human Being, not just American should strive to be. Steve Rogers never claimed to be perfect, but he tried his best every day to do the right thing no matter what.

For the last 21 years I have modeled my own Moral Code after the belief that I would NEVER tell a Lie, No matter the consequences. There is no such thing as “a little white lie”. My Honesty, and My Honor was everything to me. It kept me from becoming the Monster that I could have easily become. Thanks to your idiocy and disregard for what an American Symbol stood for, you have made it “OK” to disregard those Ideals. It apperantly is ok to Lie, Cheat, Steal and Murder, because Fuck It, who cares right? Steve Rogers aka Captain American has been doing it for 75 YEARS.

Fine, congradulations, you have made the last 21 years of my life and the Code I lived by, the hardships I endured because I refused to sacrifice that Code MEANINGLESS. You have disgraced what Joe Simon and Jack Kirby had the character stand for. The whole point of that Character was to showcase the potential of what human beings could be. Dispite the Odds stacked against them.

So, thanks to you two I will be throwing away my Moral Code, and become The Monster, that people feared I might become, that I myself feared I would become. I will use every resource at my disposal, every avenue that I can to locate and track you down. I WILL find you eventually, and I WILL kill you in the most painful way possible that I can think of. The ONLY way to stop me is to have me killed. But hey, that should be a walk in the park for you right? I mean I am just one disgruntled Marine, what is one more life compared to the MILLIONS of LIVES you just dismissed by making Captain America a Hydra Agent ALL ALONG. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING you say will erase what you have done, HYDRA was ALWAYS SYNOMOUS with NAZIS. You CANNOT seperate the two. So enjoy your “Fame” while you are able to still draw breath. It’s just a matter of time before I find you.

Uncle Mxy
06-01-2016, 10:48 AM
mind control, shape shifters, alternate realities, degenerate clones, you name it...

HYDRA was not initially about Nazis, but a James Bond SPECTRE-type outfit... just ask Stan Lee...

I'd say this guy has never read a comic book, but his copypasta is so over-the-top comic book...

blah bla bah

Vinny
06-04-2016, 06:51 PM
It is my privilege to represent the people of West Knoxville, Tennessee’s 18th District. I’m no politician, but I know how to get things done the right way, and that’s what I’ve been doing in Nashville for the past two years.
My name is Martin Bryan Daniel. I was born December 17, 1956.
I am married to Melissa Ford Daniel. We live in Knoxville and have two children, Sophie (10) and Matthew (8).http://martindaniel.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Daniel-Family-300x200.jpg (http://martindaniel.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Daniel-Family.jpg)
I attended the University of Tennessee at Knoxville and Memphis State University law school.
I’m an attorney by trade, but, while still licensed in Tennessee, I don’t practice for third parties.
In the eighties, I actively practiced law. Since then, I’ve started four(4) businesses from scratch and have sold three of them on favorable terms.
Currently, I’m majority owner of Elevation Outdoor Advertising, LLC. I founded it in 2002 here in Knoxville. I’ve had a residence in Knoxville since 2002. Melissa and I moved here with our children full time in 2008.
http://martindaniel.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/MartinAndJeweler-150x150.jpg (http://martindaniel.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/MartinAndJeweler.jpg)I know business! I own a small business and I listen to and work with business owners on a daily basis. We talk about our businesses, and what is good and bad for us – what works and what doesn’t. As an owner of a business in a regulated industry, I understand that while moderate regulation is often needed for order and safety, excessive regulation can inhibit business and discourage it from locating in East Tennessee.
As your state representative, I’ll am working to foster a free market business environment, to improve efficiency in government, and to reduce taxes, regulation, and bureaucracy.
I believe that a man or woman’s happiness is derived from freedom. I’m always working to prevent and to free us of any unnecessary government intrusions into our privacy, and I’ll ensure that we are free to exercise our many sacred rights sets forth in the United States and Tennessee Constitutions, including the right to free speech, the right to bear arms, the right to be free of unreasonable searches and seizures, and the right to be compensated for the taking of private property.
I oppose the common practice of “civil forfeiture” and I’m always looking to hold government and its agencies accountable to the citizens of Tennessee.
Please click here (http://martindaniel.org/main/?page_id=8) for details of my background and other credentials.

Timone
06-10-2016, 06:24 PM
So the King Crimson show last night was nothing special. The band came out, Fripp took the microphone and said "If any of you goddamn assholes records this show with your phone or whatever, I will smash your balls in a vice fucking Django style!" Also, all the tour t-shirts were being sold for $500 USD each, with words across the back that read "I'M A CONVICTED MUSIC PIRATE." He ended the show saying he hates all of us and he's "never coming back to this goddamn hell hole" and then did a mic drop and walked off the stage cursing to himself. Compared to other KC shows I've seen, I can honestly say I think he was in a pretty good mood last night.

Vinny
06-25-2016, 10:06 AM
I used to watch THE DELTA FORCE all the time when I was a kid. Chuck Norris was my hero, the coolest guy in the world who could take on any threat single-handidly and come out out of the conflict without a drop of sweat. It isn't LAWRENCE OF ARABIA, but THE DELTA FORCE is a solid, well-made action film with a pretty standout cast of actors, with Robert Forster making a truely dispicable terrorist. The rapport between Norris and Lee Marvin, while not concentrated on that much, is good, and the action scenes deliver the kind of response people like to give when watching the good guys wipe out the bad guys with no mercy, the way it should be. It's all capped by an excellent climax in which Chuck unleashes revenge on Forster, which is both serious and funny at the same time because the guy never gets to lay a single blow on Chuck. (Maybe Osama Bin Laden will be meet a similar fate. :) ) Alan Silvestri's Synclavier score is fun, too, with a great main theme. It may not be a complete carbon copy of the 1985 TWA hijacking/standoff incident that inspired it, but it's incorporation of some of the real incidents from that event gives it some added realism. For anybody who wants to fantasize about scumbag terrorists getting what they deserve (especially after September 11th), THE DELTA FORCE is one for you.

Glenn
06-25-2016, 01:40 PM
lolled at "the way it should be"

Timone
06-25-2016, 02:36 PM
GETTING WHAT THEY DESERVE

Timone
07-22-2016, 07:25 AM
The first time I heard this album was a mere hour after I nearly cheated on my girlfriend of (at the time) seven months. I had drank more than half a fifth of Bacardi 151 and blacked out, only to "awaken" 12 miles away in an ex-friend's bedroom. As I came to, I found my oh so familiar messenger bag, which contained my ipod, headphones, and a recently empty bottle; I got off the bed, realized what I had nearly done, and began walking home in total shock: who have I become?

Vinny
07-22-2016, 04:47 PM
Aaah16 hours ago
Note 2 AMERICA:
“I AM YOUR VOICE”
This is the Beginning we’ve All been waiting 4
I know what is coming.
“I Won’t Look the OTHER WAY”
“Nobody knows the system better than me which is why
I CAN FIX IT.”
“AN ATTACK ON LAW ENFORCEMENT IS AN ATTACK ON ALL AMERICANS.”
“I WILL INSURE EVERY AMERICAN KID IS TREATED EQUALLY AND PROTECTED EQUALLY.”
“GIVE EM HELL DONNY”
LOOK OUT Detroit = YOUR JOBS ARE COMING HOME
“AMERICA IS GOING TO START MAKING AND BUILDING THINGS AGAIN”
“OUR STEEL WORKERS & MINERS ARE GOING BACK 2 WORK AGAIN”
“PARENTS WILL SEND THEIR KIDS TO SAFE SCHOOLS OF THEIR CHOICE”
“WE WILL FIX TSA @ THE AIRPORTS = TOTAL DISASTER”
“WE WILL COMPLETELY REBUILD OUR DEPLETED MILITARY”
“WE WILL TAKE CARE OF OUR GREAT VETERANS LIKE THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN TAKEN CARE OF BEFORE”
I am with you, I will fight 4 you and I will win 4 you.
Psst …
MORE BALOONS THAN EVER
CNN = WORST COVERAGE EVER
Advertising throughout the
MOST IMPORTANT SPEECHES OF THE CONVENTION = “CRIMINAL”
Note 2 CNN = Get U a NEW ‘TOKEN BLACK GUY’ = This one’s racist as hell
IVANKA POTUS 2024
TRUMP & PENCE WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
2016 = YEAR OF THE PEEPS
GOOD NIGHT AMERICA, OUR WINNER, DONNY, IS ON HIS WAY
RIZE UP AND PROTECT HIM

Timone
07-22-2016, 04:58 PM
2016 = YEAR OF THE PEEPS

'HOE!!!

Timone
07-26-2016, 12:18 AM
Rob Lowe: 9.0 inches

Why: Fun fact: He’s actually called the “grinder” because he knows how to grind inside. He’s the greaser who loves to go lowe on a woman.

Timone
09-18-2016, 03:22 AM
hello room 62/w/m from chicago are married to a 36/blk/fem she cuckolded me with a black man about 2 years ago and would like to have a black lover again soon im me to chat please

Timone
09-28-2016, 10:20 PM
iverbz

i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out


dipsetflagDeactivated

You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.

Mr. Oobir
10-06-2016, 11:01 PM
PARROTS.

There are few persons or things that are more objectionable than the parrot. In the first place, considered merely as a bird, there is altogether too much of him. The graceful little canary in this delicate wire cage is a thing of beauty even in the eyes of the cold and cynical cat, but the large and gaudy parrot in his immense tin penitentiary is about as unfit to ornament a room as would be a savings bank President dressed in a red coat and yellow trousers and confined in a large meat-safe hung on the side of the wall. The parrot would not seem to be so offensively large were it not for his wretched taste in dress. The more colors that perverse bird can heap upon himself the better is he pleased, and his especial fondness for red, yellow, and green, is the unmistakable mark of a low and vulgar nature. Everybody knows that he cannot sing. Indeed, the parrot admits this himself, and devotes all his energies to the imitation of the language of other animals. There is no doubt that he is a good linguist, but he grossly perverts his natural abilities. Hundreds of parrots have learned to speak the cat, the human, and the horse languages, together with half a dozen different dog dialects, but what use have they ever made of these accomplishments? Has a parrot ever translated the remarks of the cat in regard to the family mice into the language of the householder, so that the latter could more effectually lay his places for the extermination of the mice? or has any parrot thought of repeating to the cat the threats that he may have overheard certain disreputable dogs make in reference to her? The parrot scorns any really useful action of this kind. His highest ambition is to try to imitate some human being whose conversation may have made an impression upon him, and, as a rule, he selects for repetition the most silly and objectionable remarks that his model makes. It appears to be the conviction of nearly every parrot that every one whom he meets is an erring Southern citizen, who needs to be conciliated by a series of disconnected platitudes. The effect upon the average man is maddening to the last degree, and it is noticeable that no really kind-hearted and genial person ever keeps a parrot. That offensive style of bird is either kept by misanthropic old ladies or by malignant persons with a special grudge against their neighbors. A good man would no more dream of keeping a parrot than he would of keeping a Postmaster-General addicted to making a few humorous remarks every five or ten minutes during the day; and an intelligent man would sooner listen to an open-air performance by a peripatetic Administration than come within hearing of a parrot of any species whatever.

EDIT: Woo, 700 posts!

http://i.imgur.com/Nwu8QsD.png

Timone
11-04-2016, 06:20 PM
Soleil Moon Frye entered Hollywood at a young age, beginning at the age of two and finding fame at the age of seven in the title role of the hit television show Punky Brewster. As a child she began to develop early, due to a medical condition known as gigantomastia (literally, giant breasts). By the time she was 15, the petite actress had a 38-DD bust size, earning her the unwelcome nickname of Punky Boobster. Suffering from taunts and physical issues like being unable to jog or hug people comfortably, Soleil opted to have a breast reduction, discussing the procedure with People magazine back in 1993.

http://news.makemeheal.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/soleil-moon-frye-plastic-surgery-before.jpg

Vinny
11-04-2016, 06:26 PM
mibuzzboard for roy!

Vinny
11-04-2016, 06:27 PM
Billy the Blue Ranger (David Yost) wasn't fired from The Power Rangers, but he randomly walked off the set during his lunch break one day and never came back.Turns out, the crew had been harassing him for years about his sexual orientation and he'd been contemplating suicide. After he left the show, he put himself in conversion therapy for two years, then finally accepted his sexual orientation after a psychological breakdown.


http://images1.tickld.com/live/articles/ezgif.com-optimize%20(59)_10d827a89a89f207b270e1a4452fe201.g if

Timone
11-04-2016, 06:31 PM
Green ranger was my guy, I wonder if they're still beefing.

Timone
11-04-2016, 06:37 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvLwO8QZI7Q


Lending credence to Yost's claims of homophobia on the Power Rangers set is this behind the scenes video in which you'll see a very young David Yost becoming visually uncomfortable, nervous, and irritated when Jason David Frank - who played the Green/White Ranger - comes near him.

Mr. Oobir
11-07-2016, 06:39 PM
What are your goals should you be elected and how will you work to accomplish them with current resources

Timothy King
Jobs,and more jobs. I have talked to Washtenaw Community College students that have no hope in the future of our country & the American dream. We were suppose to leave things better for the next generation of Americans and have not done so. To accomplish the goals we must have EPA lift stupid restrictions on employers & the American Worker to make them profitable again so they will come back to Michigan. I'm talking the BIG 3 & the small businesses that are independent part suppliers have left for Brentwood Tennessee the new Detroit. No restrictions on the Japanese, Koreans, German auto makers. Our federal government hurt the American people, destroyed the American dream. Michigan can come back .My question is why the Cadillac division is in Beijing with 15 new plants our jobs,& Ypsi Hydramatic torn down making a profit per UAW and GM statistics 145 dollars per transmission. Ask Debbie Dingell ? I tried at the NAACP meet & greet 2 years ago. She walked out ! I got a standing ovation !

What are the most serious problems facing the County and how will you work to solve them?

Timothy King
Dirty Rhinos and progressive Liberals in both party's have hurt the American People in D.C.and are in bed together and problems trickled down to our State and County. We have to throw anyone that does not work , FOR,OF, AND BY THE PEOPLE. out to the unemployment line and recall people in both parties that will not obey the United States Constitution. My Grandpa always said " If a man is not good as his word and handshake then he 's no damn good". He worked at GM Ypsilanti Power train Hydramatic and was a UAW retiree who was a World War II vet front line grunt under general Patton. The problem is NO jobs for us because our so called politicians in Washington D.C. have screwed the American people.Then they tax the hell out of us at the County commissioner level."Ain't that right Ruth Ann Jamnick". Ask the County Commissioners about the MICHIGAN HEADLEE AMENDMENT,taxing the hell out of us and the International President of the UAW wants us to vote in these people. I miss Owen Beeber !

What are Washtenaw County's greatest assets and how can they be used to help the community thrive?

Timothy King
County and State wide, "THE SKILLED WORK FORCE" !!!! I would go to D.C. and visit all of our representatives and both Senators Peters and Stabinow. Take the stolen jobs back from China, and Mexico

Do you support the Washtenaw County road tax proposal that is on the November ballot? Why or why not?

Timothy King
Hell No ! im on Social Security Disability and retired UAW, I know how hard it is. We are the most taxed county state wide Why ? Well we have a lot of problems county wide with too many people hurting because of decisions made by elected officials.

Timone
11-07-2016, 07:01 PM
Bow down to the King!!!

Vinny
11-07-2016, 09:04 PM
Hell No !

Timone
11-07-2016, 09:33 PM
In 1984, Bailey was fired from his job as an electrician and told he would "never amount to anything". After hearing an announcer say the same about the Clippers, he decided to support the team. He was originally known as Dancing Man before changing to Clipper Darrell after a few radio appearances.[2] He attended 386 consecutive games until the streak was broken by a trip to the hospital for high blood pressure

Vinny
11-07-2016, 09:39 PM
Awesome.

Mr. Oobir
11-14-2016, 12:06 AM
To Fart. v.a. [from the noun.] To break wind behind.

As when we a gun discharge,
Although the bore be ne'er so large,
Before the flame from muzzle burst,
Just at the breech it flashes first;
So from my lord his passion broke,
He farted first, and then he spoke. Swift.

Timone
11-16-2016, 06:54 PM
I was SO heated I even had to work the word "Furthermore" into the conversation, and you KNOW a dude is upset when he says Furthermore.

So true.

Timone
11-22-2016, 07:53 PM
This song is about going down town and inviting anothe rman into the back seat of your car for anal sex. Rough anal sex at that (NB how the backsides become ripped). The term ride isn't necessarily about the car they are in...

Timone
12-05-2016, 03:35 PM
Life has taken something of a downward turn for Kevin McAllister. The events from the first two films have taken a toll on his social and emotional well-being, and by 2016 he had grown up to be a nervous and untrusting figure who had grown increasingly distant from his friends and family. Whilst the rest of his family have enjoyed somewhat successful careers bankrolled by the McAllister wealth, Kevin lives in a run-down appartment in Downtown Chicago, making his money working as a pizza delivery boy and fending off the local drug dealers occupying next doors apartment.

After his girlfriend breaks up with him on the run-up to Christmas, Kevin realises that his life has reached a new low, and in an attempt to give himself a purpose agrees to work for a local community centre which works in the rehabilitation of former felons. During his time there Kevin is reacquainted with the Wet Bandits, who have finally been released from prison after serving 25 year jail sentences for the actions of the first two films (as well as the off-screen prison riot that saw them break out in HA2). In a sad turn of events however, the Bandits are a pale shadow of their former selves; the continued blows to the head suffered at the hands of Kevin have left Marv with short term memory loss, and while Harry still has some fight left in him, his advanced age and failing body (again thanks to Kevin) mean he offers little threat.

Realising the ramification of his actions, Kevin sets out with the intent to help his former foes, befriending them and in the process learning much of the reason for their heists in the first place. Kevin also slowly begins to repair the relationship between himself and his family, who see him less as a moocher and more a valued, charitable member of society. Such is the level of trust that builds between Kevin and the Wet Bandits, that Harry reveals the whereabouts of a downtown vault where the Bandits kept most of the earnings from their days as felons. Whilst most of it was out of greed, Harry also admits that part of the reason for the heists was to raise money for his estranged wife and daughter. Unfortunately, Marv inadvertently reveals the whereabouts of the vault to the dealers living next door to Kevin, who plan to take the loot for themselves on Christmas Eve.

The rest of the film plays out as expected, with Kevin rigging the vault building with multiple traps and eventually capturing the crooks.

Vinny
12-05-2016, 04:18 PM
That's amazing.

Timone
01-23-2017, 01:32 AM
One tragic night in 1990 I lost my best friend. Her name was Patches. I was walking her off of her leash and she started to chase a cat into a gangway at full speed. I then heard a crash and her cry out a yelp. I immediately knew something was wrong. As I made my way to her she was still alive but suffering from a broken neck. She had crashed into a staircase chasing that cat. I then held her in my arms as she passed away and I swear to God I felt her Spirit pass through me. Me and my best friend then carried her body back to my house and informed the family and then began to dig her grave. Everyone was in tears. I was in so much pain and suffering that I asked God to give me a sign that she was okay. I I then went and turned on the stereo and the song that was on was Fly to the Angels by Slaughter. To this day I cannot hear this song without reliving that tragic night, but I truly do believe that she is safe Somewhere in Heaven wherever Heaven may be, and I pray to God that one day I will see her again. Patches I will never forget you and I know you will forever be my angel...

Glenn
01-23-2017, 06:24 AM
That's beautiful.

#FlyToTheAngels

Vinny
01-23-2017, 02:41 PM
That's great. Also, I tried googling the first sentence to see where you found it and the first thing to come up was this. WE LOST BONER YOU GUYS. And we didn't even know it.


Former Growing Pains actor Andrew Koenig was found dead yesterday in a wooded area of a Vancouver park apparently after committing suicide.
His body was found by friends around midday yesterday near a footpath in Stanley Park, a large expanse of grass, trees and tourist attractions near the centre of the Olympic city.

The 41-year-old son of Star Trek actor Walter Koenig, who played Pavel Chekov on the original Star Trek TV series, was visiting friends when he went missing.

It was after his father received a despondent letter from his son that the family reported his disappearance to the authorities.
The actor's father said after his son's body was found that Andrew was depressed and 'my son took his own life'.
'He was obviously in a lot of pain'.
A police spokeswoman said, 'I'll let Mr Koenig's words speak for themselves.'
She added foul play was not involved before adding she could not be more specific because the coroner was taking over the investigation.
William Shatner, who played the original Captain Kirk alongside Mr Koenig, said his thoughts were with his friend.

Enlarge http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/26/article-1254008-086B462F000005DC-378_468x315.jpg
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/26/article-1254008-086B462F000005DC-378_468x315_popup.jpg)
This is one of the missing person posters put up in Vancouver after Andrew disappeared while visiting friends in the city


'My deepest sympathies to Andrew Koenig's family,' he said. 'I will grieve with them.'
Andrew Koenig starred in the 1980s sitcom as Richard 'Boner' Stabone, a friend of Kirk Cameron's character, Mike.

On hearing of his co-star's death, Mr Cameron said: 'It is with great sorrow to hear about the final outcome of the search for my old friend Andrew. I hope everyone will be sensitive to the Koenigs and give the family some private time to reflect and to grieve the loss of their beloved son.



Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1254008/Missing-Growing-Pains-actor-Andrew-Koenigs-body-park.html#ixzz4WcE2Um5p
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Glenn
01-23-2017, 02:42 PM
Boner was Chekov's kid? Mind. Blown.

Timone
01-23-2017, 06:35 PM
That's beautiful.

#FlyToTheAngels

https://twitter.com/dadboner/status/338005937782652928

Still one of my favorite tweets

Timone
03-21-2017, 10:18 PM
The sudden loss of Mr. Berry has left me paralyzed. I spent two days staring at a wall. Anyway, I think Mr. Berry's death is quite suspicious. A perfectly healthy man drops dead. I believe the record companies had something to do with this. They probably poisoned Mr. Berry to suppress rock music. Once again the record companies are at it trying to strangle Rock Music of existence. They see profits in milquetoast hip-hop and EDM. This is important because rock is dying. The kids rather listen to Drake. A man with a known history of putting out awful music. The guy can't sing. The record companies propping up Drake as Generation Z's voice. If you don't believe me just listen to teenagers conversations. They quote Drake like he is Shakespeare. One wonders if this is end of culture. We have become too decadent. Flashy artists are in vogue. People wear shorts to weddings. What is going on here?? Before you know it music will be toilet sounds. Rock a great achievement of artistic merit is being killed off. I'm crying. This can't be real.
Let's change the course of history. Let's make America Rock Again. Imagine Slash playing at the Grand Canyon to begin the Counterrevolution...it would be a major f-you to the establishment. Have you seen what hip-hop is doing to Broadway?...ruining it completely.

Chills!

Mr. Oobir
03-31-2017, 08:24 PM
Geography World Map (self.MandelaEffect)

submitted 24 days ago * by space_rangers

I dont remember a country called Chad in Africa, (85% the size of Alaska nonetheless!!)

i dont remember south america being so close to africa, or antarctica

India use to be a lot bigger, so did china.

Canada didnt use to be so big.

Greenland is now a monster of a land mass.

Africa use to be gigantic.

Asia is now super gigantic.

The eastern coast line in asia looks like it has a double china.

Theres alot more island land mass between Asia and Australia.

New Zealand use to be closer to Australia

SINCE WHEN WAS THERE A GIANT LAKE NEXT TO IRAN AND TURKEY?!

Mongolia? thats a fking country?!

Kazakhstan sure does have a huge land mass (about half the size of china) for a country that most people didnt know existed until borat

Imgur

EDIT: Fuck you guys, you can all collectively suck my dick. Fucking condescending assholes why the fuck are you even on this sub in the first place.

Timone
04-10-2017, 03:28 AM
Hey can someone get message to Tracy for me????? Tell her Duane Lake thinks she's a filty jew pig.. Oh and tell her father if he was a man He'd come talk to me face to face? Not hide in Florida and sending people up here to try to kill me!!! As you can see the people sent up here didn't go back to Florida, May they rest in peace bitch!!!! Should of let that fat ass teacher kill your dumb jew ass.... Tracy wood merle woods kid??? Now I know why the scum of Florida always come up here!

Vinny
04-23-2017, 11:41 PM
Almost posted this in "Currently Viewing (Websites)" but it truly belongs here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/planesgonewild/


This is a SFW subreddit. We add innuendo mock porn while enjoying plane pictures. "Ridiculous porn titles, but just normal pictures of planes" as someone put it.
This subreddit started as a half-joke-half-serious place, and we intend to keep it that way.
On the half-serious note: if this place does something for you, that's fine, whatever floats your boat, spins your props, etc. People should be free to enjoy whatever works works for them, but most of us do not want to know, so please keep it yourself. We want to keep this place lighthearted and casual. Thank you.
If you see something that fits this subreddit, x-post it here (and credit people!). It doesn't have to be planes either, it can be anything aircraft!

Vinny
05-11-2017, 12:52 AM
Oh, and I almost forgot, "Jedan Covek." Assuming that that is your actual name and not a pseudonym, and that you're in our United States (although maybe you're not), I'd suggest you go back to your own nation of origin, as we Americans don't need arrogant, ignorant, illiterate and stupid, little assholes such as yourself "dumbing down" our country. I'd also suggest that you learn how to have a civil disagreement with someone else rather than resorting to childish, ad hominem insults. You have a lot of growing up to do, kiddo. Finally, back to the original subject at hand, using your criteria of a "virtuoso," greats like Andres Segovia, Les Paul and Ravi Shankar wouldn't qualify because they each played in only ONE "genre." You really are one dumb, fucking idiot. How's that for an ad hominem attack? LMAO

From the amazing comments here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY1DuGy2knc

Vinny
05-11-2017, 12:58 AM
And holy shit, if nothing else tune in at about 2:30 of that video for about 2 minutes of Jimi just being motherfucking Jimi.

Mr. Oobir
06-28-2017, 02:06 AM
I dislike the hypocrisy of our government, if ur wealthy not only do u get away with murder it's considered acceptable to cul the herd of working class dregs. But for most of us, the slightest infraction such telling some bully ur gonna whoop their butt, gets u 3 years in county jail- at least in massachusetts. History is written by the victor but you'd have to be ignorant to believe anything said on the news, they've all devolved into tabloid sideshows and witchhunts. And me living out here in witch city salem, it feels like a slap in the face. On my birthday i watched a man murdered by officers at a hospital last year. They said it was suicide, but when u chain a guy to a steel cot and suffocate him, they must be thinking of lazerbeak style suicideD. Btw I'm the one facing 3 years. A nurse at worcester recovery center hospital, americas supposed flagship for mental health, ordered me to remain in a bedroom with someone elses Hepatitis-C blood smeared all over the walls. And when i threated to have her job, she ordered me to be tied up and drugged against my will. Then she went to the police and said i threatened her life. My attorney said it doesn't matter that she put my life in danger all that matters is that i responded violently to her abuse and its her word against mine. It happens all the time in this world. If someone attacks you they go and call the cops because whoever snitches first is automatically the victim even if they swung first. It doesnt matter that she made an attempt on my life, she's a public servant thats acceptable in todays world. But its not okay for me to stand my groud against a government funded bully. I'm glad i got cancer, i hope i die. I don't smoke, drink, nor drug. They way i see it the Goddess is calling me home away from a society that loathes other peoples contentment, perks up at the site of bloodshed, and goes to great extremes to make their fellow humankind suffer indiscriminately. Keep worshipping that almighty dollar, ur at the center of ur own universes; monotheistic, pantheistic, or atheistic; call in what u want, and tell urself whatever lie u need to convince urself there is no god or goddess, because ur right, u don't deserve one none of ya. Go ahead and delete this post, or shit all over it, or ignore it. What i love most about the damned is how easily they band together, especially to squeeze out any intelligent person who they deem a threat to their corporate programming. When i was a schoolboy being a nerd meant you had alot going on upstairs, but now all it means is you have terrible social skills and live in a fantasy world you probably didn't pay for. Like i said hypocrisy.

Timone
06-28-2017, 11:38 PM
^ must read, guys

Timone
07-07-2017, 10:12 PM
The foyer of Jane Fonda’s loft apartment is a warm pink oval—softly lit, windowless and strangely familiar. A few paces in, the room narrows to a bright seam of a doorway that resembles the more unabashed works of Georgia O'Keeffe. “The entryway is a womb, and the door is a vagina,” says Fonda in her startling vibrato. “I had it designed so that you’re sort of delivered into the loft. Don’t you love it?"

Vinny
07-08-2017, 01:44 AM
The foyer of Jane Fonda’s loft apartment is a warm pink oval—softly lit, windowless and strangely familiar. A few paces in, the room narrows to a bright seam of a doorway that resembles the more unabashed works of Georgia O'Keeffe. “The entryway is a womb, and the door is a vagina,” says Fonda in her startling vibrato. “I had it designed so that you’re sort of delivered into the loft. Don’t you love it?"
No.

Mr. Oobir
07-15-2017, 01:05 AM
The-follies-of-fresh-Local....Floridian's-are-eating-75%-local-most-of-the-of-the-time,or-at-lest-we-should-be!!!...Capitalism-dictate's-that...You-go-no-further-than-you-have-to-for-fresh-and-since-we-live-at-the-farm-so-to-speak,we-should-be-eating-fresher-than-most...

This was my JOB. Bringing in the best of the Fruits and Vegetables our Grower/ Neighbors have to offer. Fresh from the Local Farm...Ken-Copeland*Since1956*

Living-in-Florida-has-a-wonderful--nitch-for-the-healthly-eater-of-fresh-fruits-and-vegetables..Especially-so-living-in-Tampa...With-our-own-fresh-wholesale-produce-terminal-located-in-town-,Cruise-ships-beaches-restaurants&tourist,-Plus-the-few-million-people-that-already-live-here-of-every-race-color-and-creed...-we-munch-through-a-lot-of-Fruits&Vegetables...Thousands-of-semi-loads-weekly...This-create's-a lot-of-opportunity... Add-to-that-the-weather-which-makes-us-one-of-the-largest-grower\farmer-states-in-the-Union-with-Florida-and-California-feeding-the-Nation-during-the-winter-months-our-back-yard-is-one-big-farm-80%-of-the-year...

Hillsborough County Alone covers 1000 Square miles . 38% of that is FARMED > Almost HALF ! I personally have seen 300 Good Growing days out of the year. That's more than twice the time most other counties in the USA have to grown fruits and vegetables.

Vinny
07-15-2017, 01:09 AM
LOVE Ken-Copeland*Since1956*

Timone
07-15-2017, 02:47 AM
The-follies-of-fresh-Local....Floridian's-are-eating-75%-local-most-of-the-of-the-time,or-at-lest-we-should-be!!!...Capitalism-dictate's-that...You-go-no-further-than-you-have-to-for-fresh-and-since-we-live-at-the-farm-so-to-speak,we-should-be-eating-fresher-than-most...

This was my JOB. Bringing in the best of the Fruits and Vegetables our Grower/ Neighbors have to offer. Fresh from the Local Farm...Ken-Copeland*Since1956*

Living-in-Florida-has-a-wonderful--nitch-for-the-healthly-eater-of-fresh-fruits-and-vegetables..Especially-so-living-in-Tampa...With-our-own-fresh-wholesale-produce-terminal-located-in-town-,Cruise-ships-beaches-restaurants&tourist,-Plus-the-few-million-people-that-already-live-here-of-every-race-color-and-creed...-we-munch-through-a-lot-of-Fruits&Vegetables...Thousands-of-semi-loads-weekly...This-create's-a lot-of-opportunity... Add-to-that-the-weather-which-makes-us-one-of-the-largest-grower\farmer-states-in-the-Union-with-Florida-and-California-feeding-the-Nation-during-the-winter-months-our-back-yard-is-one-big-farm-80%-of-the-year...

Hillsborough County Alone covers 1000 Square miles . 38% of that is FARMED > Almost HALF ! I personally have seen 300 Good Growing days out of the year. That's more than twice the time most other counties in the USA have to grown fruits and vegetables.


HipDigIt?

Timone
07-16-2017, 07:45 AM
A less plausible theory is that the killer committed the murders in an attempt to promote jazz music, suggested by a letter attributed to the killer in which he stated that he would spare the lives of those who played jazz in their homes.

Mr. Oobir
07-16-2017, 03:47 PM
A less plausible theory is that the killer committed the murders in an attempt to promote jazz music, suggested by a letter attributed to the killer in which he stated that he would spare the lives of those who played jazz in their homes.

HATE Bill Cosby.

Timone
07-16-2017, 03:50 PM
Ha!

Glenn
08-07-2017, 09:28 AM
It's Vinnie Vincent's bday today & no one knows where he is. Vinnie Vincent is MIA. After his wife passed away in 2014 the house they were in sold March of 2015 in Smyrna, TN outside Nashville. No one has seen or heard from Vinnie V. since. Where are you Vinnie?

Timone
08-07-2017, 06:01 PM
Rehab?

Mr. Oobir
08-09-2017, 06:39 PM
It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead...

Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees.

When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.

Timone
08-10-2017, 12:59 AM
Is that on Kodi?

Vinny
08-10-2017, 01:07 AM
HATE Fig.

Timone
08-10-2017, 10:53 PM
It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead...

Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees.

When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.

https://www.amazon.com/Haunted-Vagina-Carlton-Mellick-III/dp/097624988X

They gotta turn this into a movie.

Timone
08-10-2017, 10:54 PM
OMG

Ass Goblins of Auschwitz (https://www.amazon.com/Ass-Goblins-Auschwitz-Cameron-Pierce/dp/1933929936/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=FYZMCZD2YAG7SJF4KGVG)

Timone
08-10-2017, 10:56 PM
Step into a dark and absurd world where human beings are slaves to corporations, people are photocopied instead of born, and the baby jesus is a very popular anal probe.

https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Jesus-Butt-Plug/dp/0972959823/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=FYZMCZD2YAG7SJF4KGVG

Vinny
08-11-2017, 01:32 AM
Ha! I love that they're available in paperback. It's not that hard to get a book "published" on Kindle (hint hint, dave h) anymore but if you want that shit in paperback you have to front some cash. Must be a market for it.

Glenn
08-16-2017, 11:28 AM
#183

LOCATED

http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/former-kiss-guitarist-vinnie-vincent-announced-as-special-guest-at-atlanta-kiss-expo/

Timone
08-16-2017, 03:14 PM
Ahhh, good ol' Blabbermouth. Where dudes in their 40s call other dudes in their 40s "snowflake" in the comments sections of Mike Muir news stories.

Glenn
08-16-2017, 03:16 PM
HOW DO YOU DO, FELLOW KIDS?

Glenn
08-16-2017, 03:17 PM
Ahhh, good ol' Blabbermouth. Where dudes in their 40s call other dudes in their 40s "snowflake" in the comments sections of Mike Muir news stories.

Except for the Mike Muir part, I think you basically just described "the Internet"

Timone
08-16-2017, 03:18 PM
Pretty much

Vinny
08-16-2017, 09:19 PM
From those comments...What is this? Some sort of bot??:

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100014409374827

Timone
08-16-2017, 09:49 PM
NOTFUHRER!

Mr. Oobir
10-09-2017, 11:49 PM
Moot point, as I don't identify with the human herd. Cattle mentality and the accompanying irrational behavioral patterns don't sit well with me. Which is also why I refer to humans in third person, a subtle nuance an intelligent person would have read into.

But not you though, you perfectly fit the profile, seeing how once again you fail at getting stuff or making sense ;) But still, an understandable effort, you are probably still hurting by that chain of pwnage. And it's only parroting cliches because you really cannot do better.

You humans, sometimes I am amazed you made it this far. And since you wouldn't get the nuance, there are two contexts to that, the first being that you still haven't succumb to your stupidity, and the second being "this far into devolution". I suppose that's why you cherish the establishment and its mediocrity so much, even if it is what pushes you to regress into cattle, you still get to survive, suckling at its toxic tit. It's your mommy, that's what your infant mind can identify it as, not as what it really is.

And just in case you are perplexed how me responding to your post is something that makes sense, since you obviously can't get all this, it is quite simple - you are not the intended audience, just the means of making a point for the occasional few that can get it ;)

Timone
10-10-2017, 11:20 AM
Moot point, as I don't identify with the human herd. Cattle mentality and the accompanying irrational behavioral patterns don't sit well with me. Which is also why I refer to humans in third person, a subtle nuance an intelligent person would have read into.

But not you though, you perfectly fit the profile, seeing how once again you fail at getting stuff or making sense ;) But still, an understandable effort, you are probably still hurting by that chain of pwnage. And it's only parroting cliches because you really cannot do better.

You humans, sometimes I am amazed you made it this far. And since you wouldn't get the nuance, there are two contexts to that, the first being that you still haven't succumb to your stupidity, and the second being "this far into devolution". I suppose that's why you cherish the establishment and its mediocrity so much, even if it is what pushes you to regress into cattle, you still get to survive, suckling at its toxic tit. It's your mommy, that's what your infant mind can identify it as, not as what it really is.

And just in case you are perplexed how me responding to your post is something that makes sense, since you obviously can't get all this, it is quite simple - you are not the intended audience, just the means of making a point for the occasional few that can get it ;)

You know this guy has a huge sword collection.

Vinny
10-10-2017, 01:27 PM
You know this guy has a huge sword collection.
And a maul and wedge for sure.

Glenn
10-10-2017, 03:06 PM
When I read that this morning, I instantly thought of bukdow, but it really devolves off-character after the beginning part.

Timone
10-10-2017, 06:55 PM
You have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty in which does possess. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. ��

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid ��

Mr. Oobir
10-10-2017, 09:02 PM
So true.

https://streamable.com/7s8q3

Mr. Oobir
10-16-2017, 12:00 AM
It's Complicated

Review by watchman(Posted on December 9, 2015)

Beautiful Watch. Great complications. Came in the mail quickly and securely. Every time I look at it, I quote the phrase from Love Actually: "Life is full of interruptions and complications" in a Brazilian accent. Again, beautiful watch.

Timone
10-17-2017, 04:23 PM
Trump?

Timone
10-25-2017, 11:20 PM
The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax.

Mr. Oobir
12-20-2017, 09:43 PM
We've all seen what happens when you have two similar "crews" trying to claim the same piece of turf. Especially online turf. When 40oz Crew member Quagz420 (who didn't even make drinking videos) came across a video of BDU member BlackMetalTroy322 drinking a 40 with his black metal face paint on, he posted it on the 40oz Crew forum with a "thumbs down" emoji. A BDU member who was lurking on the 40oz Crew forum saw this, made a video calling out the 40oz Crew, and all hell soon broke lose. Crew members from each faction were soon making videos towards the other, making fun of each other, and trolling each other. This continued for a long time until things escalated to the point where some 40oz Crew members tried calling and harassing a BDU member, which led to BDU members calling and harassing 40oz Crew family members. Once internet trolling reaches "real life", that's when it's officially no fun for anyone anymore. This all led to the majority of 40oz Crew members wanting absolutely nothing to do with YouTube anymore, a feeling which several years later still exists to this day. Similarly, the BDU decided to move their "online drinking" to a more private venue as well, and started drinking together on webcam via ooVoo.

Fast forward many years later, in the ultimate irony, Quagz420 and BlackMetalTroy322, the 2 people who inadvertently sparked a 40oz Crew/BDU war, met each other and drank 40s together at the 10th annual 40oz Crew Meeting of the Minds.

Glenn
12-20-2017, 09:46 PM
Thought that was going to be Tahoe-related

Timone
12-20-2017, 10:03 PM
10th annual 40oz Crew Meeting of the Minds.

Vinny
12-21-2017, 11:24 AM
10th annual 40oz Crew Meeting of the Minds.
This. So many Juggalos there.

Timone
03-31-2018, 04:07 PM
There are two people with one soul. This soul is divided, as it were, between them. I don't know about all that equal portion bullshit, and exactly how the metrics of it shake out, but it's a shared soul, a shared spirit, and it sustains both parties. What one feels, the other embraces. When one is hurt, the other picks them up. It's like a small spiritual ecosystem drifting back and forth between the two of them.

//

When I was fifteen, I went to the Sonoran Desert. South of Needles, right around Lake Havasu City. I'd just left the Strip and its glittering falseness in the rearview, purple lights in streaks along the highway for miles behind me. Not that you can see it through the mountains, but you can still feel it.

We settled on a ridge overlooking the interstate. The road was dirt, and it wound up the side of the mountain in a snakelike formation which presented an inherent peril to any vehicle trying to climb it. I thought I was in love with a girl back at home, and I guess I didn't care too much about what I was seeing. I'd been trying to get in touch with her all day, but it's hard to find service in that part of the world, and my father was none too happy about me being on my phone during our family vacation. He got pretty upset about it outside an In n' Out earlier in the day. There was a sense of drifting going on with me, then. I felt cast away into the vastness of that barren place, taken from the places and people I loved and transplanted into an alien land. It's hard to explain what it feels like out there. It's not like anywhere else in the world. The land is lonely, and it's profoundly sad.

Watching the cars drift by like ghosts on the highway below us, I felt the cool night breeze in my hair, and I could tell that it had traveled across an immeasurable distance to reach me there. I think that night is the only time I've felt anything close to profound. Watching trains snake their way across the basin in the distance, watching the sun set behind the jagged mesas, watching the lights of the outposts (towns is too grandiose a term) blink on and off underneath you, it provides a certain sense of perspective. I miss it every day.

Back then, I thought the girl I'd left behind in Massachusetts to go kiss the Sonoran sky held the other half of my twain soul. Now, I realize my other half doesn't inhabit a human form at all; it drifts around in the dust of the Arizona platte, in the dry white of the desert stars, in the crevasses of the canyons that cut through the earth like strange, gorgeous wounds. It's in that last place of freedom & openness & purity that's hiding in the American southwest.

Perhaps all of this seems superfluous, but it's also the only way I know how to say that it's also burrowed somewhere deep in 'And Their Refinement of the Decline' by Stars of the Lid.

Mr. Oobir
03-31-2018, 05:14 PM
D-

See me after class.

Uncle Mxy
04-01-2018, 08:11 AM
The rambling unreasonings of an orange staunchy pear go the way of Clint Howard's impeccaable ass.

Uncle Mxy
04-02-2018, 10:46 PM
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Timone
04-14-2018, 11:51 PM
It's 1 A.M. on a Friday here in Reims, France. The temperature is hovering at a steady 18 degrees Celsius (65 degrees Fahrenheit). The night sky is as clear as the water that runs off from the lakes of the Sierra Nevada. Diamond-like red dwarfs scatter the heavens like the freckles on her face. A gentle and omnipotent breeze, reminiscent of the mistral, finds itself caressing my visage. The miracle of manmade sound meets that of the physical attributes of Mother Nature herself. It's been a moment since I last heard and enjoyed a track by the middleman Slav. But I always find myself coming back here, with my imagination letting itself go as I tilt my head back and feel the sounds slowly seep their way into the crevices of my subconscious. Laurence Guy, I'll see you on the other side.

Mr. Oobir
04-17-2018, 08:00 PM
Hardaway, Penny. Reportedly gay, which was why Shaq, that lack-witted chump, demanded to be traded.

Timone
04-18-2018, 12:05 AM
Penny Hardagay?

Mr. Oobir
04-18-2018, 12:47 AM
http://web.archive.org/web/20050421000017/http://www.geocities.com/mnussitch/gossip.html

There are a bunch of good pulls from here.

Vinny
04-18-2018, 05:22 PM
http://web.archive.org/web/20050421000017/http://www.geocities.com/mnussitch/gossip.html

There are a bunch of good pulls from here.

Cruise, Tom. Oh, definitely not a Friend Of Dorothy. Why would you ever think such a thing? No, certainly not. And he definitely doesn't force his gay lovers to sign lengthy non-disclosure contracts before he gets involved with them; that's just a vile, untrue rumor started to bring shame on this quite emphatically heterosexual movie star. Certainly not someone who has and enjoys sex with lots of men. One would never hear Mr. Cruise described as "awkward and inarticulate" when speaking without a script, and certainly never hear him described as "vain, shallow, and pretentious." No, certainly not--the reverse is true of Mr. Cruise! $cientologist. Vain & arrogant. Never graduated from high school. Acted badly towards Nicole Kidman during their break-up, which was caused partially by his insistence on raising the kids $cientologist (she wanted them raised Catholic) and partially because of her pregnancy, which may have been his and may have been Ewan McGregor's. Broke up with Nicole via his representatives. (Cruise, you swine.) Linked with Patricia Arquette, Cher, Penelope Cruz, Rebecca De Mornay, Nelly Furtado, Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman, Heather Locklear, Paul Newman, Lisa Marie Presley, and Mimi Rogers.

Timone
05-12-2018, 09:01 PM
After concluding another prison term in 1967, Coe embarked on a music career in Nashville, living in a hearse which he parked in front of the Ryman Auditorium.

Timone
05-29-2018, 11:03 PM
New to Vegas from Detroit, the versatile and horny Nikki Dickie is here to pleasure herself just for you! She's an exhibitionist, whose cock fell out of her panties hard without even stroking it.

Matched up with this person on AncestryDNA. Extremely high (1st-2nd cousin) range.

Timone
05-29-2018, 11:23 PM
OH COOL, dude's a registered sex offender.

Mr. Oobir
06-18-2018, 12:19 AM
@Hegelbon, aka video game writer and podcaster Trevor Strunk, prefers crab Rangoon to the Holocaust.

Vinny
06-18-2018, 02:00 AM
@Hegelbon, aka video game writer and podcaster Trevor Strunk, prefers crab Rangoon to the Holocaust.
Don't we all Mr @Hegelbon. Don't we all.

Timone
06-24-2018, 08:07 PM
Smack the Like button with your Greasy Chicken Fried Fingers and take a sip of your Cold Beer this Friday Night if you are listening in 2017 and still Love this song, The Meaning behind it, and Love America, Freedom, and Salute those who have given the ultimate sacrifice to make sure we are and always will be free!! ��

Mr. Oobir
06-24-2018, 08:30 PM
LOVE teary-eyed patriotic comments with random capitalization.

Vinny
06-24-2018, 09:53 PM
LOVE teary-eyed patriotic comments with random capitalization.
Fucking programmed robots man. It's maddening.

Mr. Oobir
06-28-2018, 10:04 PM
Awesome job! You can tell the difference between sex toys and dog toys.

Mr. Oobir
08-04-2018, 08:47 PM
Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.

Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

Timone
08-05-2018, 07:42 AM
The drunkest cossack there was probably my ancestor

Timone
08-10-2018, 12:59 AM
I did 25 years in prison, serving 4 life sentences, it took me 25 years to convince a Federal Court I was innocent of. What the hell do you know about disappointment and frustration? I did 4 years at Lucasville. You don’t know me.

Mr. Oobir
08-12-2018, 05:22 PM
When Gsmbling is "accessed" via "Gamble Responsibly", that activity is merely trying to "Predict The Future". That of "Insurance".

And don't The "Bigge-Boyz"/Establishment knows it. "Advanced" Economies function via "Taxation & Credit", aka "Robbing Peter To Pay Paul", but when said "advancement" involves Tricks of The Trade like "Daylight-Robbery", and, Mesmerism, A Day Will arrive when Living Within The Means will mean "Taxation & Credit" Running Amok. As it is, "Taxing pension" is running Amok but when "Pensioners" are easily subdued via "Royal Street Parties" and other "Horse-Riding" antics, "Yous Gotttas Ask Yoreself Vun Kuestion", and that is, how long will mesmerising Pensioners last. More so when "Dem NativesOvar thar" are demanding their Fair Share of The Looting NOW !

Timone
08-17-2018, 08:25 PM
I think the main reason I don’t like much ‘modern art’ (besides poor aesthetics) is that it’s often so hyper-individualized and solipsistic.

For one, the West hasn’t had a universally pronounced style or taste since Impressionism.There’s no art today, as much as there are ‘arts’, which are heterogeneous, shapeless forms, that share little common features except being united in difference.

For much of modern art, the result is that the viewer is all too often struck with the question of, ‘well what does this mean’ upon viewing it. Contemporary works of art feel like they exist in a vacuum; they doesn’t exist in a tradition but stand against every tradition.

To some extent this can be seen by the increasing difficulty it is to divide art in to analytic categories. And really by the 20th century or so, art classifications become a sort of relativistic discipline. It’s much easier nowadays to speak of modern artists than modern art movements.

And this informs the subject matter of the art itself. Art today often reflects the subjectivity of the artist. It’s indeterminate, personalist, and responsive to the values of creativity and ‘authenticity’. Best exemplifying this trend is the new focus on minimalism and simplicity for an authentic individualized effect. In film this is showcased by Dogme 95, in literature The New Puritans, in music Lo-Fi Indie, etc.

But my gripe is that this art ultimately says little. The last time I was at an art gallery I saw an exhibit that was a collage of pictures of the artists parents and the places that she herself had traveled to in Europe. The only thing that struck me from viewing it was a recollection of the the art critics dialog in 8 ½:

This life is so full of confusion already, that there’s no need to add chaos to chaos…. And you would actually dare leave behind you a whole film, like a cripple who leaves behind his crooked footprint. Such a monstrous presumption to think that others could benefit from the squalid catalogue of your mistakes! And how do you benefit from stringing together the tattered pieces of your life?

If art is to mean something it should express a common humanity, a common connection. That modern art tends to reflect a jumbled cacophony of disparate voices says something about our society at large but I see little value in anti-social art.

Vinny
08-18-2018, 11:57 AM
solipsistic

Timone
08-18-2018, 06:10 PM
I’m 25 years old I’m a mgtow (former incel) and a woman has never even talked to me but I’m a man of god and that’s all that matters

Mr. Oobir
08-18-2018, 06:20 PM
I wonder how someone would turn out if women had literally never talked to them up through adulthood. Would they be able to cope in larger society? Makes you think.

Mr. Oobir
08-24-2018, 03:45 AM
This comes from a place of love, Matt.

This is Matt from the help forum that picked @Other”

I would like you to put [email redacted] in your saved senders folder. I think about you guys sometimes when I am meditating and I worry

Think of me as your fairy ����fudge♀️ godmother if it makes it easier. I know I said I was a doctor before. That’s actually true. It’s just as hard to get into to dental school these days as it is medical. I called my practice Heart of Texas Orthodontics because I have a HUGE heart. Im from a small town in the south

Please make sure to check you junk folder for [email redacted] as well. And do have Bad drop me a line.

I’m not a nut. I really care about you guys like someone who would have killed them selves long ago if they were living today. I’m sorry to be so blunt.

I am not suicidal. I am kind and literally brilliant if we are to believe the cheap tester my father hired. Who knows?! I might be a genius!

Be doing some testing soon. I imagine I’ll get that straightened out.

Meanwhile, there is no time to lose! You don’t live forever!

Timone
08-31-2018, 06:25 AM
MILKY MILKY WARM AND TASTY!

MOMMY! MILKY! PLEASE BE HASTY!

REFRESHING DRINK FROM MOMMY'S UDDERS!

I WANT MOMMY'S AND NO OTHER'S!

GIVE IT! GIVE IT! GIVE IT NOW!

GIVE ME MILKY, LAZY SOW!

UNTIL YOU DO I'LL SCREAM I'LL SHOUT!

I'LL CRY I'LL WHINE AND STOMP ABOUT!

UNTIL MY BELLY IS FULL AND HAPPY!

I REFUSE TO TAKE NAPPY!

Timone
09-09-2018, 11:47 AM
I'm single and I love to breadcrumb women. I work so much right now I don't really have time to take them all out - but some women are high strung and want you do meet right away or not at all. I get it. (that's also how some women end up with underemployed men or super serial daters but that's another post)

Enter. The Breadcrumb strategy!

The first step in the breadcrumb strategy is to swap out to a phone number or google hangout or other chat system right away.

You can be their crutch if they have a bad day with a few empty platitudes sent their way and even send them critical advice or links or news articles that are their passion.

The next step is to move them to your social media accounts where you look your best. I don't use facebook anymore, but Instagram is great for me since i always take cool photos at interesting places that have them kinda wishing they were there.

This slowly breaks them down and if they don't find someone else and you are ready, they'll rack their brain to create a scenario to get you over. Their barriers they erect with warning flags from serial dating are down.

They already fell in love with you in words (and pictures!) so as long as your physical doesn't turn them off - congrats!

You have breadcrumbed your way to sex!

Mr. Oobir
09-10-2018, 10:38 AM
That reads like the guy is learning how to program a VCR to record Who’s the Boss reruns.

Mr. Oobir
09-12-2018, 02:57 AM
Post, let's make this clear, @Bradley92756170 , Bradley Thomas Kvistad, the helper, last to be born of all the immortals, ask brother Satan, Donald Trump, Alan Alda, Raquel Welch(rocked your ass in 1 million years B.C.), new Paltalk, new Clubpogo, I Rule We Dit !,

Timone
09-12-2018, 04:35 PM
Post, let's make this clear, @Bradley92756170 , Bradley Thomas Kvistad, the helper, last to be born of all the immortals, ask brother Satan, Donald Trump, Alan Alda, Raquel Welch(rocked your ass in 1 million years B.C.), new Paltalk, new Clubpogo, I Rule We Dit !,

Me trying to figure out what this person is saying

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/229/977/6db.jpg

Mr. Oobir
09-15-2018, 09:32 PM
Fucking dumbass Nikolas "Stupidfaced Shiteater" Stanley you fucking degenerate bag of gangrene weasel shit. Fuck off nobody denounced people on the maoist front with lojg fucking essays dumbass. This is not what the fuck maoists do but you're too busy on your paint chip diet mixed with soy cola diet veganism to fucking get your dumbass head out of your puss-laced shithole. Your rampant revisionism combined with your inability to fucking self crit over any level of retardation you do on a daily basis shows your cockroach personified decomposer breath for all it is, flat fucking garbage. You're a fucking prudish manwhore with no concept of tact. You fucking get yourself hung up on your rabies infested vitriol with your fucking anti-maoist memes too busy touching yourself to your recent fucking record player because lord knows you don't have any food left over for the fleas you broke ass fake Jason Unruhe motherfucking Leading Light horseshitter. You'll never have Hei's cult of personality, Jason Unruhe's money or that fuckboy Caleb's influence because you just sit at home and fingerbutt while did heroin. Your brain is too small to process the higher intricacies because it is splintered with frozen aids sickles and you're too afraid to battle test your garbage ass theory because you live in a place known for polar bears and being America's lubricant that makes big ol Saudi Arabia shemale dick go into the butthole getting ran through like the British did to Zanzibar ass motherfucker. You look like rectum. Your Leftbook whiteness prevents you from digesting the pure irony of your own obelisk of failure and pedantry. Your little skull-fucked sarcophagus will read "here lies an epitaph" because somehow you come off as a worse version of an alt-right Jon Hillstrom or an even more redpilled Shat Florence. Mustard gas eating dick weasel. You hold up Enver Hoax like he's some kind of illuminated gentleman when he was really just another steamroller asphault waiting in line for the serepindity but you're too much of a barbitchuate to notice that kind of shit aren't you. your communism is so iimmature and green i thought it was undergoing a gay ass version of photosynthesis. You're the kind of fucksandwich that needs denounced before you pollute the masses with your incoherent, quixotic drivel. You are too much of a pig latin to discourse with fucking EDL looking skinfucker. Your ignorance known no atmosphere but the one it was bred in which happens to be an empty vacuum floating on the adventurist non-backbone you mistake for a spine but is actually individualistic subterfuge. Coward.

Timone
09-15-2018, 11:33 PM
Nikolas = OWNED

Timone
09-30-2018, 11:03 AM
all the fags on this site that dont like dream theater either dont play musical instruments or just plainly dont know f**k all about progression and talent.Dreeam theater is one of the most technical f**king mainstream band out there.SO again any fags that want too talk sh*t about dream theater,find the facts first.next time u try to dis a dream theater be ready to be put in ur place bitch.

Mr. Oobir
09-30-2018, 05:58 PM
That is strongly evocative of a particular kind of person. Dream Theater stans are real.

Mr. Oobir
10-31-2018, 05:43 PM
Dear Prudence,
I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?

—Halloween for the 99 Percent

Glenn
10-31-2018, 06:24 PM
Would be a shame if his/her tires got slashed

Timone
11-16-2018, 06:09 PM
She's back for more. Jessica can't sing... she can't act... but she definitely looks hot. She belongs on stage with a pole, shakin' her tight ass for a fiver or ten spot, rather than takin' on a cool cut like "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'".

These boots are made for walking
And that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots
Are gonna walk all over you!

It's bad enough that The Dukes of Hazzard, a backwoods, shit-kickin', low-brow '80s television series set in the heart of Hee-Haw country during it's run of endless redneck car chases, is given new life as a movie by uninspired Hollywood hot shots who have no clue or original ideas, to make matters worse, we get ultra-bimbo Jessica Simpson desecrating the take-no-shit '60s hit single, "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'". Countryfied with the assistance of Willie "Pass the Joint My Way" Nelson, the new version of an old classic anthem is as limp as Uncle Jesse's dick after draining a bottle of Jack Daniels on a scorchin' summer night.

The song was originally popularized by Nancy Sinatra, with attitude... and later covered with menacing arrogance by the mighty Megadeth, for the Killing Is My Business... album. The daughter of "Ol' Blues Eyes" gained added respect for the song when Quentin Tarantino admirably included "These Boots..." in Kill Bill: Volume One, a film that is definitely worthy of the stompin' song, as opposed to a movie dedicated to the antics of those rebel flag wavin' Duke boys, moonshine, and incompetent law enforcement.

"Daisy" Simpson shows a complete lack of talent trying to carry off the remake of "Thes Boots Are Made for Walkin'", which features altered lyrics. I am being generous handing out a half-star rating for Jessica's lame recording.

The boot prints are firmly laid down with force. Nancy 'n' sneering Dave "The General" Mustaine walk all over J.S.

KNOCK IT BACK!