A man walked into a bar. He was an alcoholic, and it consumed his life and destroyed his family.

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk all walk into a bar. They proceed to have a wonderful conversation and form a lifelong friendship.

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS.

etc

Man goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I just got married and I've been getting these headaches." Doc says "It's a tumor."

Glenn.

Family in Car

Daughter: Daddy Daddy, Where are we? Are we lost?
Dad: No, we're not lost.
Dad to wife whispers: We really are lost

Same family

Daddy Daddy, I'm hungry
Dad: Well we're not going to hooters

Thats some funny anti funny stuff right there.

Glenn.

No joke.




http://www.spartyandfriends.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/michst_markdantonio_300w_112706.jpg

your momma's so fat, she's at high risk for Type 2 diabetes and heart disease.

your momma's so stank, she's really unpleasant to be around.

A dog was on the side of the road. A car of young kids rode by in a car. They rolled the window down and yelled, "Whatup Dawg"

A dog was on the side of the road. A car of young kids rode by in a car. They rolled the window down and yelled, "Whatup Dawg"


... but the dog didn't respond, because it was dead.

^ Thats even better or is it, thats even worse?

Just dog tired

A lady walks into a vet's office a places a lifeless duck on the examining table. The vet looks at the duck and says to the lady, "Your duck is dead. You can take it home or we can take care of it for you."

A hot blond walks into a bar and gets hit on several times. She laughs off all of the attempts to get her into bed, gets drunk, and receives a ride home from a good friend.

^ Dad guy. Putting thread back on track.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

Because his wife had been brutally murdered in a fox attack and he was forced to care for his chicks on his own. He had heard there was food on the other side of that road but those turned out to be empty promises. The chicks, once again, would go hungry.

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

Why did the black man buy 3 boxes of condoms?

Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale.