I had a really scary conversation last week that was a huge wake-up call for me, and I want to know if I'm just imagining things.

I was at a party - it was a really small get-together with no more than 10 people. I was talking about The Wire (the TV show). I brought it up and a woman immediately said, "that's the best show on TV."

In response, I brought up the fact that the website "Stuff White People Like" says exactly the same thing - if you go to a party with white people, and you mention The Wire, someone will say it's the best show on TV.

A white guy to my left, who had been pretty quiet all night long, said, "Yeah, they should make a website called Stuff Black People Like. I bet people wouldn't find it nearly as funny."

I was in a joking mood, so I turned to him and said, "yeah, but we white people have kind of earned it. We do a lot of annoying things."

Very casually, the guy responds with "well I wouldn't know anything about that, since I'm not a self-hating white person." Then he got up and said, "there are a lot of colored people who annoy me." Then he walked away.

I was completely freaked out - first of all, that this guy did not have a problem just saying this out loud in a group of people with some people he didn't know well. Second of all, this is not the kind of talk you expect to hear from a middle-class guy in his mid-30s, which he was. Lastly, no one in this party said a damn thing to him about his remarks, everyone just acted like nothing happened.

I've told this story to a lot of people I know and I've heard several different reactions:

1) "You are kind of a self-hating white person, you know."
2) "I think you are a self-hating white person, but so am I, and I really don't see anything wrong with that."
3) "See, what happened is you had a run-in with a flat out fucking racist."
4) "You should have started some shit with that guy. Why didn't you call him out?"
5) "You need to talk to the people who hosted this party, ask them 'what's up with your boy?'"

I need a vote on 1-5, with a possible #6 option of something not listed here. This is really bugging me.

I think so, dude

I'd say 3. He probably is a flat out racist, even though he didn't start the "there are black people and there are..." speech that is the most rediculous flat out racist wannabe cover up logic ever. If you talked to him in a more isolated environment he probably would go there.

I just got back from a trip with my daughter to DC. On the trip we met, for the first time, an uncle on my father's side. He and his wife took us to their house, let my daughter swim in their pool, bought us lunch and we talked politics mostly. In the middle of his point he says something about "the brothers and the sisters". I stopped and said, "Are you talking about black people?" He spent the next two minutes trying to get out of having just dropped what he had dropped. I spent those two minutes saying, "No. Those were your words. No. That's not what you said." Had never met the guy before. Called him out immediately. Lasted two minutes. We went on with the conversation afterward. Had a really nice time.

I pick #4.

How was it a wake-up call? It opened your eyes to how people perceive you? To the fact that white middle-class people can be racist? That your friends associate with racists? Your mom raised a pussy?

Also, private polls suck.

I voted 2.

There's a pretty gross double-standard out there when it comes to racism.

If you're black, then go ahead and stick a Negro College Fund sticker on the bumper of your car and proclaim you're a "fried chicken kind of girl."

White? Call black people African-American. You will be called white, even though 'racial equality' suggests you be called European-American.

If race didn't matter to these bleeding-heart liberals, then we wouldn't need to specify race on applications of any kind, etc.

Does this mean you be a brotha, Fool... like those jive dudes in "Airplane"?

That's the prevalent attitude in West Michigan workplaces.

How was it a wake-up call? It opened your eyes to how people perceive you?
Yes.

To the fact that white middle-class people can be racist?
No, I guess it's more to the point that I was not expecting this kind of attitude to come from someone with whom I had that much in common - same background, raised in the same town, etc.

That your friends associate with racists?
Hey now. I think they may have been just as surprised as me.

Your mom raised a pussy?
Wow, really? This is what you're coming with?

Also, private polls suck.
Didn't mean to make it private. That was an accident. I'll post the results if it makes you feel better.

I'd have to know the crowd a bit better before I brought up anything racial, such as white stereotypes/"Stuff White People Like".

Life is like a bunch of racists. You never know what you're gonna get.

This place gets soft whenever I leave. I was only playin' with the last one.

No Denny, I'm not black. I don't think dude would have dropped a "the brothers and sisters" comment to my face if I had been black.

^ Gotcha.

Thing is, there are plenty of Amyre Makupsons in the world - people born to black parents, but who look caucasian. I don't recall seeing any black people at the party, but what would have happened if one of us had been? Maybe same shit - just a lot of "wait, what the fuck just happened?" and not much else.

I was completely freaked out - first of all, that this guy did not have a problem just saying this out loud in a group of people with some people he didn't know well. Second of all, this is not the kind of talk you expect to hear from a middle-class guy in his mid-30s, which he was. Lastly, no one in this party said a damn thing to him about his remarks, everyone just acted like nothing happened.

As a party-goer, I would've interpreted the invocation of "Stuff White People Like" as "oh geez, please let there not be an uncomfortable moment" and the following uncomfortable moment as something to just stay away from -- not fuel the trolls. It's not white guilt... I'd have about the same reaction to a party-goer who picks their nose in public.

I'm comfortable with most aspects of who I am, and (judging from a minor event a couple weeks ago) quite ready to stand up against racism when it's actively being engaged in my presence. But, that doesn't mean that I feel compelled to tell off to every racist smacktalking blowhard who passes gas in my general direction, especially if I've made the mistake of opening the door.

Never considered that. I guess it's true that bringing stuff like that up in a group of people is kind of like saying "hey, is there anyone with race issues in this room?"

I figure there are two routes to go on this. You could have a long, nuanced discussion with him about why what he said was racist. Or you could just say fuck it and let it slide.

For the most part I'm not going to bother with the first option unless it's someone I actually give a shit about. There's too much low-grade white privilege backlash douchebaggery in the world for me to personally crusade against it at the misdemeanor level.

labeling the dude a racist on that one line is beyond extreme. maybe he said it cuz he thought you needed to hear it?

not to play the 'poor white male' card, but some people act like we owe society an apology. ever notice how often the white male is portrayed as a helpless rube in commercials?

i get that you were just trying to keep the conversation light, but some people do get tired of it.

i voted 1 by the way. i dont actually know if you hate yourself.

labeling the dude a racist on that one line is beyond extreme.

Agreed. However, labeling what he said is another story.

Oh noes! Sometimes white guys on tv are dumb! Can't wait for the antisemitism laced reply.

Who fucking cares.

Where's that option?

That should be an option. +1 new guy.

Agreed. However, labeling what he said is another story.

colored people do alot of annoying things.

alot of white people annoy me.

which is more offensive?

theres nothing wrong with saying 'alot of colored people annoy me'. i dont know if 'colored' is the most pc word choice, but poor word choice doesnt make you racist.

Oh noes! Sometimes white guys on tv are dumb! Can't wait for the antisemitism laced reply.
Sorry, should have added option #7 "Making fun of white people is one tentacle of the worldwide Jewish conspiracy."

theres nothing wrong with saying 'alot of colored people annoy me'. i dont know if 'colored' is the most pc word choice, but poor word choice doesnt make you racist.

I couldn't disagree more. As soon as you open your mouth to paint blacks with a broad brush, you're on thin ice. Oh, it's a negative one too? The ice is cracking. And you reached back to the 60s to drop "colored" on it just in case someone missed the subtext? Somebody call the coast guard, man fell through the ice.

It's offensive. You may not know it's offensive or intend it as such but it is. Word choice doesn't make you racist but it absolutely can make a given statement racist/offensive.

i disagree because he wasnt painting anyone with a broad brush, it was actually big swami that was doing the painting.

he merely stated that some people who werent white annoyed him. alot of [pc word for color] annoy me as well. there are white people who annoy me as well. i doubt this isnt true for anyone.

swami was just joking so i wouldnt really hold this against him, but this is a pet peeve of mine. you dont owe anyone an apology for who you are. white people do alot of annoying things? as opposed to some other group who doesnt? white people like the wire? i've never heard anyone say one bad thing about the show, and i know that its very popular in the nba, a predominantly black association.

i dont mean to be a dick here, swami asked for our opinions, and this is something i actually have an opinion on. if i was at the party listening to swami say this stuff, i probably would have quietly stewed during the conversation, and quietly approved of the guy saying what he said.

It's kind of funny that a site (http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com) started by a white guy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Christian_Lander.jpg) becomes a license for some guy to spout off about how annoying the coloreds are.

Who fucking cares.

Where's that option?
Thanks for reading a thread you had no interest in, and then posting in it.

i disagree because he wasnt painting anyone with a broad brush, it was actually big swami that was doing the painting.

he merely stated that some people who werent white annoyed him. alot of [pc word for color] annoy me as well. there are white people who annoy me as well. i doubt this isnt true for anyone.

swami was just joking so i wouldnt really hold this against him, but this is a pet peeve of mine. you dont owe anyone an apology for who you are. white people do alot of annoying things? as opposed to some other group who doesnt? white people like the wire? i've never heard anyone say one bad thing about the show, and i know that its very popular in the nba, a predominantly black association.

i dont mean to be a dick here, swami asked for our opinions, and this is something i actually have an opinion on. if i was at the party listening to swami say this stuff, i probably would have quietly stewed during the conversation, and quietly approved of the guy saying what he said.

This is a post I appreciate.

I guess I've always assumed that if you're white, and I'm white, and everyone at the party is white, then we can joke about some white people shit. If I'm not white, and I'm cracking on white people, then that would definitely be uncomfortable.

Likewise, I expect when black people get together, they might joke self-consciously about some black people shit. In fact, this has happened at parties I've been at where most of the people there were black. I suspect it might also be true if you're Mexican or Indian or Canadian.

So the lesson I'm taking away from this incident is: stop hanging out at parties with nothing but white people. Not really.

Jeezus Swam, you need to get out more.

The way I see the world is that most people are stupid, most people are rascist, and most people annoy me. It doesn't matter the color of their skin.

And what he said was racist, but I think everyone took the correct road by ignoring it. People are set in their ways, and having a discussion/argument about their beliefs is generally a bad idea. Unless both people have an open mind, things will get ugly.

Thanks for reading a thread you had no interest in, and then posting in it.

It's what WTFDetroiters do, bro.

So I was talking to a neighbor of mine yesterday. I don't like him too much, he tries to tell me what to do with my yard which is beyond annoying. He tells me I should finish fencing in my yard (there is no fence between the house and detached garage, about 20 feet). I'm just like yeah, thought about it but don't really like how it would affect things. Then he says well, we're fine right now, but if any blacks or Mexicans start moving in to our neighborhood, they'll just wait til you're at work then come play in your yard.

^not racist

^spin

It sounds like Ux needs to move into a more multi-racial neiborhood.

^not racist

He did keep going for about 2 minutes while I let him go on to see how much he would really say. He is blatantly racist.

im asian and i was talking with a group of people and somehow got into the subject of math. so as we were talking, this dumb bitch says, well you must be good at math. well actually no i took precalc twice and failed them both in highschool u fucking cunt. so i said why? shes like because ur asian. i didnt know how the fuck to reply to that. is she just being a sterotypical cunt? i never metthis girl before either

In high school people thought I was a junkie because I nodded off at the lunch table every day. Fucking racists.

I was persistently falling asleep in the class I had after lunch in 11th grade. People thought there was something wrong with me. There was. I was stuck in a boring class.

So I was talking to a neighbor of mine yesterday. I don't like him too much, he tries to tell me what to do with my yard which is beyond annoying. He tells me I should finish fencing in my yard (there is no fence between the house and detached garage, about 20 feet). I'm just like yeah, thought about it but don't really like how it would affect things. Then he says well, we're fine right now, but if any blacks or Mexicans start moving in to our neighborhood, they'll just wait til you're at work then come play in your yard.
I would make a sign in Spanish that tells people to play in his yard. Show him and say "Problem solved!"

So I was talking to a neighbor of mine yesterday. I don't like him too much, he tries to tell me what to do with my yard which is beyond annoying. He tells me I should finish fencing in my yard (there is no fence between the house and detached garage, about 20 feet). I'm just like yeah, thought about it but don't really like how it would affect things. Then he says well, we're fine right now, but if any blacks or Mexicans start moving in to our neighborhood, they'll just wait til you're at work then come play in your yard.

Detroit is the most racially polarized area in the country, so this comes as no surprise. We, being the population of the region as a whole, have issues living next to people that don't look like ourselves. Setting aside questions of racism and the occasional incidence of redlining or housing discrimination, the demographics of the area tell an objective story of self-segregation.

neighborhood...its nice to be able to catch your own spelling errors instead of having Zek up your ass.

UxKa is in Wisconsin isn't he?

^ Now you're getting back on track.

UxKa is in Wisconsin isn't he?

Nope. I'm a lil West of Chicago.

Nope. I'm a lil West of Chicago.

Isn't that the gay section?

http://www.dpliv.com/pflag/

lol

If I was in the burbs, I'd just say I live in Chicago. I'm farther West than the Gay & Lesbian movement.

lol

If I was in the burbs, I'd just say I live in Chicago. I'm farther West than the Gay & Lesbian movement.

Why, you a homophobe?

I'm west of chicago too.

West of those god damn Dems, too.

Nope. I'm a lil West of Chicago.

You Lie! I saw you rollin through my neighborhood. Middle finger up. True story.

You Lie! I saw you rollin through my neighborhood. Middle finger up. True story.

I do get around. I was merely referring to the place I call home.

Cicero?

Farther West, but not quite as far as Wyoming.

Uxka lives in Shermer, Illinois. ;)

I used to live like a block away from Boystown when I lived in Chicago.

WIKKA WIKKA WIKKA AND YOU SAY CHI-CITY YO WE DON'T QUIT

Uxka lives in Shermer, Illinois. ;)

Never even heard of it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shermer,_Illinois

Ah, I get it.