im trying to get out of my bally's contract (never, ever join them), and the only way i can do so is with a doctor's note or proof that i moved 10 miles away from a bally's. so im thinking if i proved that i moved overseas that would do it. do you think i could just scan a bill onto my computer and then change it with a paint or something? how hard are these fuckos going to check?

I think you'd need something a little better than the brown paint brush to fool them.

im trying to get out of my bally's contract (never, ever join them), and the only way i can do so is with a doctor's note or proof that i moved 10 miles away from a bally's. so im thinking if i proved that i moved overseas that would do it. do you think i could just scan a bill onto my computer and then change it with a paint or something? how hard are these fuckos going to check?

I think thats the best idea I have heard. Bally's is a joke.

A box of matches and a can of gas is the universal contract nullifier.

gee, your avatar is great.

I was feelin' like a pimp so I had to brush my shoulders off... to improve my poster ranking.

Find a friend who lives in Grand Rapids (or somewhere on the west side of the state) which AFAICT doesn't appear to have a Bally's Fitness. Overseas isn't hard, but could potentially raise more issues than you might want to hassle with down the road (why are you on that no-fly list?).

Change the address on a couple credit cards or whatever -- stuff that you can review and pay online but which generate paper bills -- to your friend's address. Make purchases if you haven't already. Wait for the first month's bills to get to your friend, then have them mail you the unopened bills.

Depending on specific contract language, this SHOULD be sufficient. Of course, everything I've read and heard about Bally's suggests that they're a total fucking scam who has given military people contract cancelling hell for being shipped to Iraq. Have the Better Business Bureau on tap right away.

cool, thanks mxy. i knew you would step up. im gonna try this, since i do infact have friends in GR.

cool, thanks mxy. i knew you would step up. im gonna try this, since i do infact have friends in GR.

That's sweet that you and Glenn hang out.

I'd say just have Glenn do it but you really don't want that guy having your credit card numbers.

Check that GR really doesn't have Bally's, ideally by asking Glenn and|or your friend there. I just did a quick zip code check on the Bally's web site.

Check the terms of your particular contract to be as sure as you reasonably can that this is the right info. Don't take my word for it, because I don't have the specifics of your contract at my fingertips (nor do I want to, nor would anyone ever mistake me for a lawyer).

Be sure to use certified mail.

Please hold Uncle Mxy harmless. :)

Like I would know if there is a Bally's anywhere, lol.

i think i might just try to kill my way out of this contract, rambo style.