i just closed on a new apartment, which im very excited about... its perfect. however, my soon to be former roommate doesnt know we will not be roommates after our lease (ends may 31). hes a good friend, we lived together in college for 4 years and we've had this apt for almost a whole year.

confrontation is not my strong suit. i've never broken up with a girlfriend, i never tell people off, and the one time i switched roommates in college it was because 2 other roommates were not getting along so they were the one who innitiated the swap.

what do i do?

im dead serious, i have no idea how i should handle this. im not really screwing him because people really havent even started listening june leases, so he has a ton of time to find a place, and i had to move on the place i took because it wasnt going to be available if i waited. but still, he's mentioned 'our next place'.

serious or joke or otherwise responses are all much appreciated.

i just closed on a new apartment, which im very excited about... its perfect. however, my soon to be former roommate doesnt know we will not be roommates after our lease (ends may 31). hes a good friend, we lived together in college for 4 years and we've had this apt for almost a whole year.

confrontation is not my strong suit. i've never broken up with a girlfriend, i never tell people off, and the one time i switched roommates in college it was because 2 other roommates were not getting along so they were the one who innitiated the swap.

what do i do?

im dead serious, i have no idea how i should handle this. im not really screwing him because people really havent even started listening june leases, so he has a ton of time to find a place, and i had to move on the place i took because it wasnt going to be available if i waited. but still, he's mentioned 'our next place'.

serious or joke or otherwise responses are all much appreciated.
You need to tell him as soon as possible so he can make other arrangements. I would just say something like, "You are my friend, but I want my own place now." If he is actually a friend, he`ll understand.

thanks bukdow.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like its about him so make sure he knows its not. Just let him know that this is something you feel you need to do for yourself. Definately tell him soon, especially if he's just assuming you guys are doing something together again.

Oh, and don't expect him to not be pissed for a little while at first. It might be hard for him not to see this as about him or at least screwing him a bit.

As hard as I'm sure it is, you do need to stop putting it off as it'll only make it worse. Living by yourself can be more expensive so the more time he can prepare, save, and look at options the better.

Why didn't you tell him that you were looking?

If he has to move in under 2 months and he wasn't expecting it, he may feel screwed.

Why didn't you tell him that you were looking?

If he has to move in under 2 months and he wasn't expecting it, he may feel screwed.

The same thing happened to be some years back. My roomate didn't tell me until 3 weeks before, however. I was lucky an apartment opened up across the street.

We were still friends, but only because the new apartment was an upgrade (better neighbors... read: hotter chicks).

Your ex-roomie still has nearly 2 months to find a replacement, or another apt. You're cool.

The same thing happened to be some years back. My roomate didn't tell me until 3 weeks before, however. I was lucky an apartment opened up across the street.

We were still friends, but only because the new apartment was an upgrade (better neighbors... read: hotter chicks).

Your ex-roomie still has nearly 2 months to find a replacement, or another apt. You're cool.

disagreeing with Mxy can hurt you in poster polls. :(

disagreeing with Mxy can hurt you in poster polls. :(

LOL. I'm already in the second tier. But when the Bukdow's Rume comic comes out, I'll zip into the top 5.

Oops....spoiler alert.

little extra info, neither here nor there concerning the subject, but we had an extention deadline that we both agreed we would take (extend our own lease). my roommate f'd up though, and we didnt get the extention. he's known for as long as me that we were changing apts on the date, and he hasnt started looking for the next one. so its not as if i've been preparing for months behind his back while he looked for 2 bdrms.

plus, like i said, apts arent really listing june leases yet, so he has some time still.

I was in a similar situation about a month ago. I've known the guy since high school, he seemed to think we'd be living together next year even though we never actually talked about it. I just told him straight up. It was weird for a day or so but then he got over it and figured out his situation within a few weeks. You've just got to put it out there and tell him what's going on. Otherwise, you start to screw him over.

Or don't tell him anything. Just move out when he's at work or school.

Is that Zip-like?

That's exactly what Zip would do, only Zip would take a shit in the middle of his roommates room and fuck his girlfriend right before leaving.

Or don't tell him anything. Just move out when he's at work or school.

Is that Zip-like?

A guy I used to work with did that. He just moved out and went to live with his parents in Kentucky one day. Owed 2 months back rent (the roommate's mom payed the rent and my buddy was supposed to pay her), didn't tell his roommate anything and just closed his bedroom door when he was done.

His roommate came in where we worked a couple times over the next few weeks and never said anything or seemed upset about it so we were all confused. Then all of a sudden like three weeks later the guy stormed in all upset demanding to see him; you know, "Where is he, Where is he!".

Turns out the guy couldn't find the TV remote that day and searched the whole apartment and for the first time opened my buddy's old bedroom door and saw all his stuff gone. I always kind of wondered what would have happened if he didn't need that remote.

God I know some shady people, I just remembered I knew another guy who did that. This guy was a classic shadeball friend from college, infamous for mooching, borrowing stuff and never returning it, etc, etc.

He lived with two of my friends in a nice condo one of them owned. My two friends didn't exactly love the guy or anything but they all got along. Anyways, one sunday the shady guy asked my two friends if they could clear out for the afternoon because his dad was in town from Dallas and they wanted to watch the Cowboys game together. (My friends were hardcore Bears fans and sure as hell didn't want to watch the Cowboys game instead of the Bears.) So my buddies meet me out at the bar to watch football all day, we all get plenty sauced and split up around ten, and then like 20 minutes later I get a call from them all upset and screaming. Turns out the Cowboys game was just a front and he had spent the afternoon moving his shit out, leaving the place trashed.

What a douchebag. (No offense SDB)

Jesus Christ, I just remembered a third guy. Not much to this one, he just moved his shit out one afternoon and told his old roommate to go fuck himself. I need to find some new friends.

Give Vinny his own piece on the front page.

Well, you CAN tell him that you and he can still have sex once you move out.

disagreeing with Mxy can hurt you in poster polls. :(
As proof positive that I don't live my life by polls, I truly wasn't aware of this until Tahoe mentioned it here. I'd tell the pollsters that Tahoe disagreeing with me, without being disagreeable, should boost his rankings. Sheesh!

Back to this apartment thang...


he's known for as long as me that we were changing apts on the date,
Ok, that's somewhat better. He still might be assuming you were doing the shopping for him, especially since he fucked up with the lease and since you've clearly done apartment shopping. Hopefully, you've told the dude already.

I don't trust anything Vinny says after 4/1.

Yeah, I wish I made it up.

I just want to say that life is difficult. I think my hardest thing in life is making decisions, I seem to be very complacement especially when I am in a comfortable situation, I never want to change anything. So the fact that you are leaving your roommate is a good thing because it sounds like you are trying to better yourself.

I know what you're going through. My roommate history is a bit checkered.

My first apartment was with my best friend, whom I had known since I was 12 years old. This was during the dawning days of the Internet - 1996, or thereabouts. He had just broken up with his girlfriend, and I had just finished school. I had always known he was a bit ... uh ... unstable, but dangerous friends are cool when you're 15 and impressionable. When you're 23, they're just psychopathic jerks. I haven't spoken probably more than 40 words to that guy ever since.

I moved back in with my mom for a bit, but apartment housing in the late 90s was so cheap that I couldn't resist getting a place by myself. I was living in Westland and I didn't have a pot to piss in. Seriously. I had a decrepit old chair, and a pillow, a twin bed, and a computer desk. That was all of my furniture.

I had another buddy who was over at my place pretty much every day, and it was a lot of fun, so we ended up getting a place together. He's pretty troubled too, but super nice and very funny. He did graphic art and I did music, and we both smoked pot, so it was a riot. Being the commie I was, I put together a plan where we could each contribute to the bills according to the amount of money we made.

But I ended up getting a very high-stress, high-performance job that kept me out of town a lot. And I met a girl. You know how these things go. I ended up moving in with her, and leaving him to live in the place by himself, and I think he had a bit of a breakdown. When he lost his job and couldn't afford to keep the place, he moved out, but the apartment owners charged him a ton of money for repairs, and he didn't have it, so the creditors came after me.

I don't care that much, though. He's still my best homie. He was the best man at my wedding and I still love him better than I would love a brother.

So is the girl you moved in with the girl you married?

This thread just got very special.

Kind of like one of those touching Facts of Life episodes.

I don't trust anything Vinny says after 4/1.

Everything changed in the post-041 world.

So is the girl you moved in with the girl you married?
Yes.

Well if you guys are still friends then I'd say it all worked out for the better.

Well if you guys are still friends then I'd say it all worked out for the better.
I don't think it worked out so well for him. He definitely got depressed, living alone, and there were some other things that were going down for him at that time too. I love the guy, but what the fuck am I gonna do? Not move in with my girlfriend?

I meant for you. YOu kept your friend, ended up married and in a good situation.

Is it time for the "Where is b-diddy? (UPDATE: DEAD)" thread?

I guess the only question is, did Bally's get him or his ex-roomate?