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View Full Version : LLTP: Pistons Mailbag 3.6.08



Glenn
03-06-2008, 12:15 PM
:langlois:


Thursday, March 6, 2008

Joe (Saginaw): Since the East appears to be a four-team race, would the Pistons rather play the Cavs or the Magic in the second round? Might it actually be better to end the year with the No. 2 seed to specifically draw one or the other? Also, do you think any of the next-tier teams like Atlanta could make waves and maybe pull an upset?

Langlois: I wrote about this last week. I’ll refer you to my blog of Feb. 25. Bottom line, I think Orlando would be the more preferable second-round opponent. And since it doesn’t seem likely the Pistons will catch the Celtics after Wednesday night’s loss – which not only gives Boston a five-game cushion in the loss column but the tiebreaker, as well – then it’s probably best if Orlando retains the No. 3 seed by holding off Cleveland. (By the way, anybody catch Kevin Garnett’s comment after the game that one of three teams was going to win the East? Have to believe Cleveland was the third team he was talking about, but he has plausible deniability, I suppose, if Orlando gets a little huffy about that.) The only “second-tier” team I could see making any noise in the playoffs is Toronto.


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Tobias (Germany): After the disappointing showdown in Boston, what do you think the Pistons chances are for the playoffs?

Langlois: Wednesday was a fun game for the fans, but I don’t draw anything from it where the playoffs are concerned. Not given the circumstances – Boston playing at home on two full days rest, the Pistons playing the night before and battling a snowstorm to get to their Boston hotel at 4 a.m. That’s not a level playing field. If and when these teams meet in the conference finals, and there’s at least a 50 percent chance of that happening, no one on either side will truly believe the results of March 5 are going to have any bearing on the outcome.


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Byron (Detroit): Do you think Stuckey will be a better player come the playoffs? And with Theo Ratliff in the lineup, will he help and will the rest of the players be happy with their minutes?

Langlois: Stuckey has another six weeks to go until the playoffs open. He’s a rookie point guard – everybody knew there would be highs and lows. The thing that’s struck me about Stuckey as he’s struggled with knowing when to take it and when to pull up over the past few weeks is that his defense keeps getting better and he’s not otherwise making poor decisions with the ball. The Ratliff thing will work itself out. Worst case, he’s the insurance policy they would have had in Dale Davis. Best case, there are nights his size and experience will be a better alternative to the two young guys coming off the bench. Highly doubt he’s going to affect the minutes of Wallace and McDyess.


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Marcos (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil): We can’t beat the Celtics, we can’t beat the Bulls and we can’t beat the Jazz. How can we think about earning a ring?

Langlois: How could San Antonio think about earning a ring last season when the Spurs finished a whopping nine games behind Dallas in the division and lost the season series to the Lakers 3-1?


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Chad (Saginaw): In the game against Boston, did it seem as if the refs dictated the tempo of the game? From the first minute of the game, it seemed as if a whistle was blown and play was stopped every 30 seconds or so. And why did Chauncey get that T?

Langlois: Only rarely do I leave a game thinking that the officiating made the difference. Last night wasn’t one of those games. Were there some questionable calls? Of course. The speed of the game makes it impossible to get everything right. Rip Hamilton got called for a foul where he clearly got out of the way as someone from Boston – can’t even remember who it was now – was making a layup. There were a few tough calls that went against Wallace and McDyess in the fourth quarter where they got whacked for the foul in situations where it could have gone either way with typical post jostling. But that’s the way it goes. Billups got his technical for protesting a call that went against him on the other end – bad time to get it, though, with the Pistons struggling to stay within arm’s length in the fourth quarter.


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Travis (Chicago): Looking at the progress Amir Johnson and Aaron Afflalo have made, why do you think Flip made the announcement back in January that the rotation was going to be shortened? It seemed awfully premature at the time and it didn’t even end up happening. What do you foresee as Joe D’s top priority this off-season?

Langlois: He said at the time that he did it after consultation with Joe Dumars and that the goal was to try to make up for lost time with Stuckey for sitting out the first 25 games with his broken hand. It didn’t last long, but they’ve still found ways to get Stuckey his minutes. Even though Stuckey is having the predictable adjustment struggles, the Pistons only occasionally have had to give him a quick hook. He’s been very good defensively. As for the off-season priority, it really is too soon to say with any degree of authority. Much will depend on how the playoffs unfold. But I don’t predict a very noisy summer. That’s because Dumars is very happy with his young players and believes there’s still much room for internal growth. He’ll make trades if they are ones he thinks he can win. But he won’t be dealing from weakness, so it’s possible he won’t do much of anything. The Nazr Mohammed trade gives him the financial flexibility to do things he wouldn’t have been able to contemplate otherwise.


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K.C. (Greencastle, Ind.): What do you think of many possible Maxiell-Johnson vs. Oden-Aldridge battles in the future? Do you think the Pistons’ big guys of the future will be able to handle the other rising big men of the league?

Langlois: Since they play in different conferences, the only way they’ll ever see each other enough to make it a rivalry is if they both get to the NBA Finals in the same year. Maxiell is obviously going to have some matchup difficulties against a 7-footer, which is one of the reasons Aldridge has drawn some comparisons to a young Rasheed Wallace – a big guy who can step out and knock down jump shots. Whether Aldridge proves as savvy as Wallace and develops his big-game toughness remains to be seen. Don’t forget about Cheikh Samb when projecting the Pistons’ frontcourt rotation. The front office believes this guy is going to be a player a few years down the road.


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Leebaan (Ypsilanti): As well as the Pistons’ bench has played over the past month, do you think Detroit has the best bench in the league? Please list the top three benches.

Langlois: I got this question a few weeks ago and my answer is the same. I like the benches of four teams. The Pistons got even deeper with the acquisition of Juan Dixon and Theo Ratliff. Gives them a better mix of experience and youth and they’re now as flexible as they’ve ever been. The Cleveland trade really made the Cavs a deeper team, too. When Daniel Gibson and Sasha Pavlovic get back, they’ll be stacked. Joe Smith helps their frontcourt depth, too. Out West, I like the benches of the two teams who should fight it out to get to the Finals, the Lakers and Spurs.


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Domminique (Murfreesboro, Tenn.): Why don’t the Pistons try to draw offensive fouls when players like LeBron James and Kobe Bryant try to get running starts to dunk? That’s what made the Pistons so invincible during the Bad Boys days. Ben Wallace is telling his new team how to beat us. He is now the enemy and the Pistons have to learn to hate him the way Isiah learned to hate Magic and Bird.

Langlois: You’ve got to cut LeBron and Kobe off before they get anywhere near their launching point. And that’s easier said than done. I loved watching the old Bad Boys, Domminique, but those hard fouls they administered back then would draw suspensions and flagrant fouls today. The game has changed in subtler ways, too. You can’t be as physical with players like Jordan, LeBron and Kobe out on the perimeter, either – no hand checks. And if you can’t put your hands on them 20 feet from the basket, it makes it very difficult to keep them out of the lane. As for Ben Wallace, it remains to be seen how much he helps Cleveland, but let’s not forget that the Bulls with Big Ben lost to the Pistons last year, and the Cavs without him beat the Pistons in the playoffs.


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Marquis (Detroit): What’s going on with Maxiell? Earlier in the season his jump shot was pretty decent and now it’s not falling at all. What’s the matter with his hands. He can’t seem to hold on to the ball.

Langlois: Maxiell was lights out in December and slumped in January. He’s been playing better since the All-Star break, though the jump shot that was so reliable early in the season has been more erratic. If it’s dropping, that’s a huge bonus. But he can still be a valuable player without a great jumper. The major asset he provides the Pistons is the energy plays – the blocked shots and the knifing offensive rebounds and put-back slams that prevent points and put them on the board but also swing momentum. As for his hands – like Ben Wallace, he doesn’t have enormous hands, so it’s possible to strip him when he’s taking it up in traffic.


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Brad (West Bloomfield): The Pistons need to add another big man to the rotation at the end of the year. I assume Samb is still a year away, so why not add a guy like Patrick O’Bryant from Golden State. He will be a free agent and Don Nelson doesn’t play him.

Langlois: Skeptically speaking, you have to assume O’Bryant is also a year or so away if he hasn’t been able to crack Golden State’s thin frontcourt rotation. It’s possible Nelson’s distrust of young players has beaten O’Bryant down and he’ll flourish in new surroundings. He is a skilled 7-footer with an impressive reach. Some wonder about his competitiveness. It’s a sure bet that someone with his size and athletic ability will get several more chances to prove himself in the NBA. But if you’re O’Bryant and you look at rosters, the Pistons would seem an odd fit given their frontcourt depth.


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Tony (Virginia): With the addition of Juan Dixon, do you think Arron Afflalo’s playing time will be affected? Also, please enlighten me as to how a 38-year-old vet can improve the Celtics. I just don’t see it.

Langlois: Minutes have to come from somewhere and Afflalo is the likeliest to be affected by Dixon. The Celts actually get two 38-year-olds – Sam Cassell and P.J. Brown. Cassell has the greater chance to have an impact. Boston didn’t really have anyone behind Rajon Rondo comfortable dealing with pressure and getting a team into its offense. It remains to be seen if Brown can do anything for Boston that the Celtics weren’t getting from their two relatively helpful young big men, Glen Davis and Leon Powe.


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Paul (Essexville): Now that Ratliff is aboard, what’s your take on this? I don’t claim to know much about him other than he’s bounced around and had his share of injuries.

Langlois: He’s four years younger than P.J. Brown and Dale Davis, the other names being bandied about, and he’s not that far removed from being an elite shot-blocker and defender. The back injury that cost him all but two games last season doesn’t seem to be a problem and the knee surgery he had in December wasn’t a major procedure. The Pistons actually see it as something of a positive that he hasn’t had much wear and tear of late. For more on Ratliff, I’ll refer you to my blog from Feb. 29.


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Brenda (Lakeview): I noticed during the All-Star game and sometimes during the regular season that Rasheed Wallace will shoot with his left hand instead of his right. Does he do this under certain circumstances or is it just to challenge himself? Are there many other NBA players who can shoot with either hand?

Langlois: Lots of NBA players can use either hand around the basket and there are big men who will shoot baby hooks with either hand, but I’ve never seen anyone as comfortable shooting from distance with his oppose hand as Rasheed. I don’t remember him shooting 3-pointers during Pistons games with his left, but when he made that lefty 3-pointer during the All-Star game it wasn’t a surprise. He shoots lefty 3-pointers before every game and, if you didn’t know he was a righty, you’d have no reason to suspect that wasn’t his natural shooting hand. He’s an amazing talent.


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Max (Germany): I’m a huge Pistons fan and would like to know how to get a job just like John Mason.

Langlois: It would help if, like Mason, you developed a cult radio following in the market. That might be kind of tough to do from Germany, but, hey, it’s the age of technology. Anything is possible.


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Ohad (Jerusalem, Israel): Rasheed fouled out of a game and while walking to the bench, he kept mouthing off. What would happen if he got T’d while already being fouled out? Would the technical be on the bench?

Langlois: No, he’d be assessed the technical. Maybe you’re thinking of American college basketball where a technical also counts as a personal. (Perhaps it’s that way in Euroleague, too; pardon my ignorance on the nuances of international rules.) The only way it really matters in the NBA is how it affects the season total of technicals as a player approaches the 16-tech limit before an automatic suspension kicks in.


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Cheryl (Newaygo): I hope I’m wrong, but I think we are going to see “Rodney Stuckey” and the phrase “did not live up to expectations” in the same sentence. I just haven’t seen that breakout game and the closer we get to the playoffs the more pressure there is to perform.

Langlois: Depends what your expectations were, Cheryl. I think if Stuckey hadn’t missed the first 25 games, he’d have higher averages across the board. But 17 minutes and six points isn’t bad for a rookie point guard playing behind two All-Stars. If you’re thinking Stuckey is destined to be a disappointment over the long term, I’d say you’re leaping to conclusions well ahead of schedule. Rookie point guards almost always take longer to assess than those at other positions. Stuckey’s transition was more difficult than others because of the level of competition he played at Eastern Washington and the fact so much of the scoring burden there was on his shoulders.


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Jon (Livonia): Walter Herrmann brings great energy every time he takes the floor. Is there any way Flip Saunders could give him minutes other than in a blowout? Don’t you think he deserves a chance?

Langlois: Herrmann’s play as a starter over the final 20 games of last season with Charlotte were eye-opening. Had he entered training camp with the Pistons and begun the season on equal footing with Jarvis Hayes, who knows how it would have played out? But the Pistons are comfortable with Hayes as their designated gunslinger off the bench. If Juan Dixon provides a consistent scoring threat off the bench and eases the burden on Hayes, it’s possible the Pistons will look harder at what Herrmann has to offer. But my hunch is the pecking order has been established at that position unless injury strikes.


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Tyler (Houston): Why not go hard after Emeka Okafor in the summer?

Langlois: He turned down something like $13 million a year before the season started. Even if you thought he was worth the money – and, while I think Okafor is a pretty nice player, no way I’d spend that kind of money on him – the Pistons aren’t going to have anywhere near that type of cap space available. And it’s not very likely anybody else is, either, which makes it mind-boggling that Okafor didn’t jump at the chance to sign when Charlotte made the offer. In addition to having a limited offensive game and being injury prone, after Charlotte made the deal for Nazr Mohammed so he could play center and Okafor could play power forward, the Bobcats soon decided Okafor wasn’t very effective guarding power forwards who could step outside and shoot jump shots. Okafor would be a nice fit alongside a versatile big man like Rasheed Wallace who could cover up some of his limitations – but not if you have to pay him $13 million a year.


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Sam (St. Louis): Antonio McDyess has been a terrific rebounder this season, but he’s ranked among the top 10 in most personal fouls in the Eastern Conference. That seems high given his minutes. Is this from him starting against better and more physical opponents vs. coming off the bench? Or is he foul prone?

Langlois: The numbers show McDyess is actually fouling at a much lesser rate this season than any of his previous three in Detroit, reversing his trend. In 2004-05, McDyess picked up a foul every 8.8 minutes of playing time. Two seasons ago, it was one foul every 7.8 minutes and last season it was one every 7.2 minutes. This year, as a starter, he’s at one foul every 9.1 minutes, a significant difference over a season ago.


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Tim: I was wondering what type of player Joe Dumars will be looking for in this year’s draft? What are the possibilities of trading up to get a Joey Dorsey or Roy Hibbert?

Langlois: Too soon to start identifying three or four players. The Pistons have done almost all of their college scouting and probably have a list of 50 players or so that they’ll whittle down to a more workable number. They won’t waste a lot of time scouting the players who are locks to be lottery picks, although they also work up dossiers on all of them in case crazy trade proposals come their way that would thrust them into the lottery unexpectedly. But what type of player is easier – somebody high on character, competitiveness and work ethic with an innate understanding of what being part of a team means. They aren’t likely to have to trade up to get Dorsey. Hibbert? I’m not sure he fits what the Pistons like in their big men – mobility.


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Michael (Jackson): I know all the talk is about how well our young guys are progressing, but I’m an old-school fan. I’m ecstatic about the possibility of seeing Lindsey (my all-time favorite Piston) Hunter and the Rattler on the floor together shutting down the “high-powered” Celtics. Hunter, Rip, Sheed, Max and Ratliff together would be a defense reminiscent of the old Bad Boys.

Langlois: I know the plan all along has been to get Lindsey Hunter ready for the playoffs, but I’m having a hard time envisioning an active roster with six guards – Billups, Hamilton, Stuckey, Afflalo, Dixon and Hunter. Joe Dumars and his staff together with Flip Saunders and his staff are going to have some tough choices on submitting an active list during the postseason.

MoTown
03-06-2008, 12:26 PM
...waiting for Evil Keith for this one.

Timone
03-06-2008, 12:34 PM
You'll be waiting a long time.

Wilfredo Ledezma
03-06-2008, 01:01 PM
this one's not as bad as past mailbags...some of the questions were actually decent for change...

MoTown
03-06-2008, 01:22 PM
Especially these:


Tim: I was wondering what type of player Joe Dumars will be looking for in this year’s draft? What are the possibilities of trading up to get a Joey Dorsey or Roy Hibbert?



Brenda (Lakeview): I noticed during the All-Star game and sometimes during the regular season that Rasheed Wallace will shoot with his left hand instead of his right. Does he do this under certain circumstances or is it just to challenge himself? Are there many other NBA players who can shoot with either hand?


Tim: I was wondering what type of player Joe Dumars will be looking for in this year’s draft? What are the possibilities of trading up to get a Joey Dorsey or Roy Hibbert?


Max (Germany): I’m a huge Pistons fan and would like to know how to get a job just like John Mason.

Big Swami
03-06-2008, 10:52 PM
You'll be waiting a long time.

Eat a bag of hell, douchebag.

geerussell
03-06-2008, 11:08 PM
The numbers show McDyess is actually fouling at a much lesser rate this season than any of his previous three in Detroit, reversing his trend. In 2004-05, McDyess picked up a foul every 8.8 minutes of playing time. Two seasons ago, it was one foul every 7.8 minutes and last season it was one every 7.2 minutes. This year, as a starter, he’s at one foul every 9.1 minutes, a significant difference over a season ago.

That's surprising. It sure seemed like he was fouling a lot.

Timone
03-06-2008, 11:20 PM
Eat a bag of hell, douchebag.

Mission accomplished.

Big Swami
03-07-2008, 08:43 AM
EVIL PISTONS MAILBAG
Thursday, March 6, 2008

Joe (Saginaw): Since the East appears to be a four-team race, would the Pistons rather play the Cavs or the Magic in the second round? Might it actually be better to end the year with the No. 2 seed to specifically draw one or the other? Also, do you think any of the next-tier teams like Atlanta could make waves and maybe pull an upset?

Evil Keith: Finally, somebody with a normal name writes to me, and he's still a retard. It would be nice when I descend from the heavens to bequeath to you unworthy mortals my basketball wisdom, if you maybe actually paid attention instead of getting wasted on cough syrup and falling down. Since it's obvious the Pistons are never going to beat Boston ever again, you better hope your ass off that we face the Orlando Disneys instead of the Cleveland Boobies in the 2nd round. Otherwise you're going to want to slit your wrists watching that shit. And Atlanta may be a better team now, but they're still Atlanta, so I'm going to continue to believe that they're shit on general principle.


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Tobias (Germany): After the disappointing showdown in Boston, what do you think the Pistons chances are for the playoffs?

Evil Keith: Not very fucking good, Tobias. Stock is dropping. Right now you can come to the Palace and get 4 tickets, 4 hot dogs (don't eat these), and 4 sodas for a special price of $100. If you pay in your Euros, you can get a couple of lapdances and a gift certificate to ABC Warehouse to go with it. Come with that kind of money next year and you can get a power forward.


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Byron (Detroit): Do you think Stuckey will be a better player come the playoffs? And with Theo Ratliff in the lineup, will he help and will the rest of the players be happy with their minutes?

Evil Keith: Well, Byron, I'm pretty goddamn sure that Rodney Stuckey and Theo Ratliff aren't going to be stealing minutes from anyone who matters. So don't worry your pretty little head over it. Rodney Stuckey hasn't yet learned that you don't pull the highlight-reel alley-oop maneuver when you're Rodney Stuckey, the guy who's got to dunk the ball is Jason Maxiell, and the guy you have to alley-oop the ball over is Kevin Garnett. Jesus Christ, that play made me finish off a bottle of Jagermeister.


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Marcos (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil): We can’t beat the Celtics, we can’t beat the Bulls and we can’t beat the Jazz. How can we think about earning a ring?

Evil Keith: Hold on a second. I'm looking over the roster of the Detroit Pistons and I'm not seeing anyone named Marcos, or any other Brazilian player for that matter. So "we" must be some other NBA team outside of Detroit who isn't going to win the NBA championship this year because they can't even beat the worthless fucking Chicago Bulls. Sorry, Marcos. I can only answer questions from fans, not NBA players.


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Chad (Saginaw): In the game against Boston, did it seem as if the refs dictated the tempo of the game? From the first minute of the game, it seemed as if a whistle was blown and play was stopped every 30 seconds or so. And why did Chauncey get that T?

Evil Keith: You know Chad, I fully agree that the refs sucked huge gorilla balls in that game, but it's hard for the officials to take a game away from you if you've got a meaningful lead of any kind. Anyone can get drunk and expose themselves in Hart Plaza, but if you finish off two full quarts of psychedelic tequila before pulling your junk out in front of the Griswolds to take a leak in the fountain, even sitting in Wayne County Jail isn't going to really kill your buzz too much. I think you get my point.


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Travis (Chicago): Looking at the progress Amir Johnson and Aaron Afflalo have made, why do you think Flip made the announcement back in January that the rotation was going to be shortened? It seemed awfully premature at the time and it didn’t even end up happening. What do you foresee as Joe D’s top priority this off-season?

Evil Keith: So fucking what, Travis? The Pistons have a couple of guys with bad hands and empty heads playing every now and again. It's still better than having a couple of guys with bad hands and empty heads, along with Nazr Mohammed and Flip Murray.


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K.C. (Greencastle, Ind.): What do you think of many possible Maxiell-Johnson vs. Oden-Aldridge battles in the future? Do you think the Pistons’ big guys of the future will be able to handle the other rising big men of the league?

Evil Keith: No.


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Leebaan (Ypsilanti): As well as the Pistons’ bench has played over the past month, do you think Detroit has the best bench in the league? Please list the top three benches.

Evil Keith: Leebaan, it would be hard to say that the Detroit bench sucks. It doesn't suck. But if a coach has no idea what to do with that bench, it's going to come off looking like it sucks. The Palace needs to shut down for 3 hours like Starbucks did, so they can retrain certain underperforming staff members who have neck twitches, gin noses, and shitty haircuts.


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Domminique (Murfreesboro, Tenn.): Why don’t the Pistons try to draw offensive fouls when players like LeBron James and Kobe Bryant try to get running starts to dunk? That’s what made the Pistons so invincible during the Bad Boys days. Ben Wallace is telling his new team how to beat us. He is now the enemy and the Pistons have to learn to hate him the way Isiah learned to hate Magic and Bird.

Evil Keith: Domminique, I can't tell you how much players like or hate one another in the NBA. It isn't your dad's game anymore. Everyone's a bunch of bitches now, you know, with dudes being nice to your face and talking behind your back like they're girls. Sports writers, however, are free to hate anyone they want, and I think you can see where I'm headed with this.


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Marquis (Detroit): What’s going on with Maxiell? Earlier in the season his jump shot was pretty decent and now it’s not falling at all. What’s the matter with his hands. He can’t seem to hold on to the ball.

Evil Keith: Marquis, no one writes to me and complains that you're having a rough patch on the fry-o-lator. But if they did, I would understand. People are really sensitive about their onion rings, and it's important to get them just right. It's not an easy job. I'm sure you'll come around. I have faith in you, little buddy.


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Brad (West Bloomfield): The Pistons need to add another big man to the rotation at the end of the year. I assume Samb is still a year away, so why not add a guy like Patrick O’Bryant from Golden State. He will be a free agent and Don Nelson doesn’t play him.

Evil Keith: Shut your fucking mouth, Brad. O'Bryant is a god damned pantywaist and don't you dare talk about putting him in a Pistons uniform. What in the hell makes you want to take on a castoff from Golden State? Oh fuck it, I'm just going to assume it's schizophrenia and leave it at that. You won't get any better until you take your meds, Brad.


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Tony (Virginia): With the addition of Juan Dixon, do you think Arron Afflalo’s playing time will be affected? Also, please enlighten me as to how a 38-year-old vet can improve the Celtics. I just don’t see it.

Evil Keith: In answer to your first question, Tony: Yes. In answer to your second question, the Celtics are apparently trying to tie up every single old-ass player in the league right now. I think they're getting ready to bring Bison Dele back too.


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Paul (Essexville): Now that Ratliff is aboard, what’s your take on this? I don’t claim to know much about him other than he’s bounced around and had his share of injuries.

Evil Keith: Meh. He's a big guy who hopefully won't be afraid of knocking people around, unlike certain mentally ill homeless power forwards playing as centers I know who think they're on board for finesse.


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Brenda (Lakeview): I noticed during the All-Star game and sometimes during the regular season that Rasheed Wallace will shoot with his left hand instead of his right. Does he do this under certain circumstances or is it just to challenge himself? Are there many other NBA players who can shoot with either hand?

Evil Keith: Brenda, you have an amazing eye for detail. You're like my wife. She keeps bringing up old irrelevant shit, like times I slept with other women. Just let it go, god dammit. I want my pride back.


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Max (Germany): I’m a huge Pistons fan and would like to know how to get a job just like John Mason.

Evil Keith: Max, here's the plan. Step 1: Get a perfectly normal job. Step 2: Do it like a complete weirdo. Now Step 3 is either "Max gets fired" or it's "Max is a pop culture hero." Keep at it, I'm sure it will work out.


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Ohad (Jerusalem, Israel): Rasheed fouled out of a game and while walking to the bench, he kept mouthing off. What would happen if he got T’d while already being fouled out? Would the technical be on the bench?

Evil Keith: As far as I know, Ohad, you can keep getting technicals all day long, even if you aren't in the game. This may not be the case in college ball or international rules, but I can't be bothered to look up a bunch of faggy shit like that.


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Cheryl (Newaygo): I hope I’m wrong, but I think we are going to see “Rodney Stuckey” and the phrase “did not live up to expectations” in the same sentence. I just haven’t seen that breakout game and the closer we get to the playoffs the more pressure there is to perform.

Evil Keith: You know what Cheryl? Take Rodney Stuckey, add a couple of referee blowjobs, and you've got Dwyane Wade's game right there. And Stuckey's on a winning team. I ain't too impressed with your performance either. I think you could probably stand to break the fuck out.


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Jon (Livonia): Walter Herrmann brings great energy every time he takes the floor. Is there any way Flip Saunders could give him minutes other than in a blowout? Don’t you think he deserves a chance?

Evil Keith: Yeah, but when you're as mediocre as Flip Saunders, coming face-to-face with real talent is confusing. He can't explain what he's just seen, all he knows is two things: that he is suddenly filled with that "ME CAN'T EAT SOUP WITH FORK!" feeling, and he has to go to the bathroom. We're talking about a guy with very little talent trying to discern the talent in others, and that's the core problem on this team.


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Tyler (Houston): Why not go hard after Emeka Okafor in the summer?

Evil Keith: Well Tyler, his defense is kind of girly and that's a huge deficit in a guy who wants that much money. You'll notice that this Pistons team is moving in the direction of spending less money.


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Sam (St. Louis): Antonio McDyess has been a terrific rebounder this season, but he’s ranked among the top 10 in most personal fouls in the Eastern Conference. That seems high given his minutes. Is this from him starting against better and more physical opponents vs. coming off the bench? Or is he foul prone?

Evil Keith: Sam, Antonio McDyess is a goddamn bull in a china shop (or a rabid wolverine inside a toddler's diaper, but I figured the first metaphor was a little less disturbing). It is a little embarrassing. But he's not Primoz Brezec, and for that we should all sleep a little better tonight.


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Tim: I was wondering what type of player Joe Dumars will be looking for in this year’s draft? What are the possibilities of trading up to get a Joey Dorsey or Roy Hibbert?

Evil Keith: I know exactly which player the Pistons will draft and his name is...Ugh, you fucking draft obsessives are worse than the fantasy geeks sometimes, and I'm not too sure that you're not one and the same. Please let's just get off my nutsack until the draft is a little nearer.


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Michael (Jackson): I know all the talk is about how well our young guys are progressing, but I’m an old-school fan. I’m ecstatic about the possibility of seeing Lindsey (my all-time favorite Piston) Hunter and the Rattler on the floor together shutting down the “high-powered” Celtics. Hunter, Rip, Sheed, Max and Ratliff together would be a defense reminiscent of the old Bad Boys.

Evil Keith: Well, Michael Jackson, do you really think Lindsey is coming back for the playoffs? He's got that look a guy gets when you know he's buying property in Florida in his mind. He's not paying attention anymore, and for good reason: the Pistons list of available guards is looking to be about as long as War And fucking Peace. He's thinking, "Oh, great, it looks like you guys have got this basketball thing covered. I'm going to be on the phone with my fund manager."

Glenn
03-07-2008, 09:00 AM
Today is off to a good start.

Zekyl
03-07-2008, 11:58 AM
That made me happy, as usual.