So I'm going to go take the biggest shit I've ever taken in my entire life. While I'm doing that I'll look for BubblesTheLion.

If I don't make it back, I'm in a better place.

Well, that didn't take very long. I'm back. I didn't find Bubbles, but I did somehow find my ex's severed head.

The Mailman Report is a bit different that I anticipated.

Is this a shit log?

This isn't The Mailman Report, Glenno. This is just me telling you I've been in extreme discomfort for many days now and this dump was needed.

I guess we can use this thread to announce when we're taking a shit or something.

I'll fix the title.

Thanks Vincenzo.

So "it happened?

It happened, but it's about to happen again. I'm still in extreme discomfort.

Quit shooting up so much..

Great point.

I hear that can cause some problems with bodily functions. Maybe laying off the smack for a bit would help clear up your system.

I like pooping during work hours because it makes me feel like I'm getting paid to poop.

Well we should all be paid to poop. It's a lot of work sometimes!

I love announcing to people that I have to take a crap.

And doing it in a half-whisper is the best, as if saying it quietly would make it any less horrible. "Excuse me, but...uh...I gotta take a shit."

Like that skit with Michael Rappaport on Chappelle's Show?

I'm particularly fond of when Dave Chappelle showed his "Shitting in slow motion."



Quick, related, question: Why is poop so funny? Is it because I'm an immature asshole? Or is it just a genetic thing where guys just find it hilarious, while women find it insulting?

I don't think shit is that funny, but I don't mind the smell of my own crap.

I think farting is gross though.

Then the correct answer is: that I'm an immature asshole.

No dude, you're MoTown.

Like that skit with Michael Rappaport on Chappelle's Show?
Aaaaahahaha, totally. Exactly like that.

I forget the place they were working at in the skit.

Pop-Copy?

When I take my dog out for a walk I usually just let her stop and shit on other people's lawns.

Anyone else let their dog do that? Even if you risk being shot after the person sees this happening?

Yep, that's the place. "Some of you may say, 'why would we treat our customers like that?' Because fuck 'em, that's why."

I must have absorbed Michael Rappaport in the PopCopy sketch into my subconscious forever.

When I take my dog out for a walk I usually just let her stop and shit on other people's lawns.

Anyone else let their dog do that? Even if you risk being shot after the person sees this happening?
I love you Mailman, but if you let your dog shit on my lawn you're going to catch a brick.

Swamizzle, I don't like the people around me. That's why I let my dog do it.

I have far too much respect and admiration for you to let my lab shit on your beautiful lawn.

If you haven't seen Dave Attelle's standup show on cable, he tells the funniest shit joke ever.

Dave Attell IS the shit.

I used to love watching Insomniac.

Post Pooping>Post Padding.

I am a better person due to your presence, MM.

And so is Kobe's Mexican wife.

http://img.coxnewsweb.com/B/03/55/25/image_225553.jpg

Chocolate, golden, or black lab, Karl? My parents have a chocolate lab, and when I'd watch it for them I used to be good at picking up the poop, but now I just take it for walks when its dark and leave it.

Bunch of savages.

Chocolate, golden, or black lab, Karl? My parents have a chocolate lab, and when I'd watch it for them I used to be good at picking up the poop, but now I just take it for walks when its dark and leave it.

Black lab.

I have to give my black lab these pills called "Stink Stoppers" because if I don't, two bad things happen:

1) He farts, and the noise scares him. He has become completely obsessed with the sounds coming out of his butt, and he has actually kept me up all night because he has gotten so wound up about his farts that he can't lay down. He does the same thing during thunderstorms so my wife has started calling these "fartstorms."

2) The smell OH GOD THE SMELL. He never made smells like this until he was about 7 years old, and now he drops the kind of farts that will make your eyes water.

My dog just sleeps in the bathroom and snores a lot. She whines a lot too.

Labs need to go Duck hunting and all WILL be cured.

http://www.hopkinswildlife.com/images/lab_dog_with_duck.jpg

One of my favorite things about hunting is watching dogs hunt. I love that shit.

I have a bunch of lab collector plates.

I have a bunch of lab collector plates.

New thread idea?

I'd poop at work, but that'd show I'd give a shit.