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View Full Version : LLTP: Keith is a master of spin



Glenn
01-23-2008, 04:14 PM
I seriously laughed out loud when I read the headline and the subhead.

They don't pay this guy enough.

:langlois:


No Problem
If you want to see teams with real troubles, look elsewhere

by Keith Langlois
Wednesday, January 23, 2008

There’s a myth around Detroit that fans are hopelessly addicted to the Detroit Lions. They are not. Addicted to sports, sure. Addicted to football, probably. But the Lions? Not so much

There have been three things in the past 20 years that have spared the Lions from complete abandonment. The first was Barry Sanders, who despite lacking the leadership gene remains among the three most exciting players ever with a football under his arm. The second was Ford Field. The prospect of fewer seats available in a remarkable new stadium drove ticket sales for the last few years at the Silverdome and spilled over, naturally, into the new building’s opening. The third is, well … it’s the NFL, immensely popular, taking even the weakest franchises along for the ride, and there are only 16 days a year where you have to really hand over your heart.

But there were many, many games over the years at the old Silverdome where 20,000 or more empty seats spoke an eerie silence, or when half the building was rocked by Packers or Bears fans.

The Pistons have recently hit something of a dry spell, enduring a rugged January diet of road games, and have lost three in a row and four of five, inspiring a low hum of panic in Pistons Nation.

As best I can tell, here are the Pistons’ problems, if the deluge of fan feedback I get via Pistons Mailbag can be trusted: Amir Johnson, not yet old enough to buy beer in Michigan, needs to play more. Rodney Stuckey, who a year ago was trying to carve up the defenses of Northern Arizona and Idaho State, needs to finish at the rim better. Chris Webber, whose knee betrayed him five years ago, ought to be signed as an upgrade over Primoz Brezec as the fourth (or sometimes fifth) big man. Lindsey Hunter, who was an NBA rookie when Amir Johnson was a kindergartner, holds the key to solving everything, if only they would let him. And Flip Saunders, apparently, needs to yell and stomp his foot more.

In my usual morning rounds, taking the temperature of other NBA franchises, here’s what I discovered today:

Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling, the NBA’s answer to William Clay Ford, is upset that his team is in last place in the Pacific Division and taking it out on coach Mike Dunleavy, who counters that the basketball side – in the wake of season-long injuries to star Elton Brand and point guard Shaun Livingston – engineered two trades to address their problems that were vetoed by the business side. Dunleavy, further, suggests that if the “changes” Sterling hints at means he’ll be fired, it would be the biggest mistake Sterling ever made – and that’s saying something.

The New York Knicks … well, I can pretty much stop there, can’t I? Today’s crisis involves Stephon Marbury, with speculation that because the Knicks haven’t given any timetable for Marbury’s return from injury that they’re really no more interested in his return than Marbury appears to be. For good measure, Larry Brown says when he coached the team the security guards spied on him.

Across the river, the New Jersey Nets are absorbing the comments from superstar and captain Jason Kidd, who, responding to questions about the team hovering around .500, said, pretty much, that no one should be surprised, because that’s what they are – a mediocre team. The subtext is that rumors have swirled for weeks that team president Rod Thorn is actively shopping Kidd and Vince Carter, who only last summer signed a four-year, $65 million extension that has the Nets on the cusp of eclipsing the NBA’s luxury tax.

The Indiana Pacers, who’ve become greatly practiced at the art of spinning really bad news, are awaiting the return of David Harrison, a fourth-year center who has had curiously little impact in his time in the NBA. This might be a clue as to why: The Pacers only recently learned Harrison had two strikes against him in the NBA’s drug testing program. They found out upon the accrual of Harrison’s third strike, which mandated a five-game suspension. Oh, yeah: Pacers star Jermaine O’Neal says the knee injury the team said will keep him out two weeks might really keep him out all season.

In Miami, where the Heat are less than two years removed from winning an NBA title that seemed to announce their candidacy for the next several, Pat Riley is sending out smoke signals that he’s ready to get out of coaching – again – and bemoaning bleak roster and salary-cap scenarios. Shaquille O’Neal, pushing 36 and just returned from an extended injury absence, is now on the shelf for two more weeks. Dwyane Wade, who can become a free agent in two years, mutters something about a “lose-lose” situation. The arena has been so full of empty seats lately, the team’s promotions department has struck a plan that gives out prizes to the lower bowl section with the most fans who actually show up at games.

The Chicago Bulls, who came into the season riding the vapors of giddy optimism after pushing the Pistons in the second round of last spring’s playoffs, are the subject of trade rumors across the league. Besides the staple – a package of something to Memphis for Pau Gasol – the latest is akin to running up the white flag: Andres Nocioni and Thabo Sefalosha to New Jersey for three expiring contracts and backup point guard Marcus Williams. The Bulls would also love to send Ben Wallace packing, with news of Andrew Bynum’s eight-week absence in Los Angeles rekindling the notion that the Lakers might be interested in taking the nearly $40 million he’s still owed off their hands.

In Seattle, where the specter of the franchise being torn out of the Pacific Northwest and plunked down in the middle of Oklahoma – Oklahoma! – has hung like fog over Puget Sound all season, the few veterans of even middling value left on the roster (Wally Szczerbiak, Kurt Thomas) are grumbling that they’re just filler in a season-long lab experiment to test the viability of prized rookies Kevin Durant and Jeff Green. First-year coach P.J. Carlesimo, long ago slapped with the reputation of inflexibility, is again accused of being a grating presence. Szczerbiak said when he took it upon himself to be a vocal leader earlier in the season, Carlesimo told him to pipe down.

More good news in Atlanta, where coach Mike Woodson had to send his starting center, Zaza Pachulia, to the locker room when he took his displeasure with being removed from the Hawks’ most recent game over the top, prompting management to suspend Pachulia for one game.

We could go on. In Houston, there are those who think the Rockets are better off without Tracy McGrady. In New Orleans, a surprisingly good team is being viewed by a half-full arena every night. In Minnesota, where they purposely gutted the roster, there is growing speculation coach Randy Wittman will be fired.

The Pistons are among the league leaders in every relevant category. When it comes to real problems, they are, thankfully, well down the list.

Glenn
01-23-2008, 04:14 PM
Diversionary tactics are underrrated.

Timone
01-23-2008, 04:20 PM
I hate when people try to divert the attention from Brady and his ankle.

Timone
01-23-2008, 04:26 PM
Keith Langwah can swallow my Wang wad.

Glenn
01-23-2008, 04:27 PM
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y174/oobir/auburn_hills_keith.jpg
"The glorious Pistons dynasty will be victorious! Our generous leader Davidson would not taint the team with unneeded free agents or trades! Stuckey for MVP!"



(courtesy Mr. Oobir)

Timone
01-23-2008, 04:28 PM
Keith Langlois: The French Englishman.

Glenn
01-23-2008, 04:36 PM
The Indiana Pacers, who’ve become greatly practiced at the art of spinning really bad news,

I love how he just flaunts his talents with a supreme sense of irony.

WTFchris
01-23-2008, 04:37 PM
I stopped reading here:


there are only 16 days a year where you have to really hand over your heart.

Obviously he has no idea what Lions fans go through year round. We are temporarily diverted by Wings, Pistons and Tigers success...but then there is the combine, draft (our superbowl), training camps, FA period (where we waste all our money on other team's throwaways), etc. To say that there are only 16 days of heartache is rediculous.

Glenn
01-23-2008, 04:44 PM
I'm really digging this article.

I picture him saying, "Damn, how am I going to spin this shit in a positive manner? Wait, I've got it! I'm going to go and dig up as much shit as I can find about other teams. When the hanger-onners find out how bad other teams have it, "we'll" come out smelling like a rose! Brilliant, you are, Langlois, brilliant!"

b-diddy
01-23-2008, 05:02 PM
its a funny article, but i think his claim that fans are overreacting is cogent.

fans who have followed both the pistons and red wings really know what the regular season is for. i dont think there has been much revealed to make anyone change their opinion since the preason. if you thought we might win a championship, i dont see why you would think no now. conversely, if you were pessimistic coming in, we really havent won you over either, i'd think.

the big 5, no surprises.

lindsey is having his best year in forever in limited duty.

we bukdowed jordan into taking nazr, but i doubt expectations were there for him anyway.

max has probably over performed expectations, same with afflalo.

if you thought amir was gonna be a factor, you can atleast be glad to know that darko has added 15 pounds of muscle and has looked really great in practice lately.

really the wild card is stuckey. he hasnt been wade jr yet, but he had a huge step back. imo, he looks like a future stud that has rust and the usual rookie problems. but to me, stuckey is the only reason to watch the pistons this season rather than putting in game tape from the 200x season.