OK so my wife has decided that maybe it might be OK for us to try to have kids, under one condition: there have to be a good set of names to choose from. This leaves me completely stumped, so I need help. All I could come up with is "Rollo" if it's a boy and "Laverne" if it's a girl.

Poopy Head

Doodoo Face

Basically anything that includes fecal matter and the noggin work.

My daughter's name is bukdow.

We made a list during preganancy and each added one name per day, when we reached the halfway point, we each crossed off one name per day.

It helped kill time while waiting for the baby to come.

We came up with some really good ones and some really bad ones. It's amazing where you will look for a name idea (on trucks, billboards, etc.) when you realize on the drive home that you don't have one to add to the list for the day.

Did you decide if you are going to find out the sex? If you have the patience to keep it a surprise, it's incredible.

Whoa whoa whoa. We haven't even decided to do anything yet and you got me out shopping for car seats and shit.

In all honesty, I like old-school European names like the names you see if you go back 4 or 5 generations on your family tree. For boys, I like "Ivan," "Oscar," and "Maximilian." I'm totally lost on girls' names, except that I am pretty sure I hate trendy names.

VLADIMIR

In all honesty, I like old-school European names like the names you see if you go back 4 or 5 generations on your family tree. For boys, I like "Ivan," "Oscar," and "Maximilian." I'm totally lost on girls' names, except that I am pretty sure I hate trendy names.

Good man.

We are like minded in this.

How about "Memo"?

Maximus should be your kid's first name (if a son).

None of this "Bryce Maximus" shit.

Maximus Swami does have a nice ring to it.

I'm totally lost on girls' names, except that I am pretty sure I hate trendy names.

Just don't name her Rain, Moon, Shine, Sleet, or Snow.

Agatha certainly isn't trendy.

It would have to be something that would seem weird on a poledancer.

What color are you doing the baby's room, Swam?

You can always go with yellow if you don't want to find out what you are having.

You'll really enjoy having a September baby.

Mercedes.

I know a girl named Lexus.

I know a girl named Lexus.

POIDH

http://www.fastcursor.com/vehicles/images/lexus-lf-a.jpg

I'm serious though, her name's Lexus.

You know what's a funny practical joke. Agree to try to have a baby and then get a vasectomy.

It's hilarious, you have sex all the time, and after a few months it's easy to convince the wife to try strange and new positions.

Mazda is a very pretty name.

You know what's a funny practical joke. Agree to try to have a baby and then get a vasectomy.

It's hilarious, you have sex all the time, and after a few months it's easy to convince the wife to try strange and new positions.

ANAL




Mercedes = girl
Ben = boy

Hopefully you end up having TWO.

I don't know ... maybe it goes in here.

Swami, you never told us if your wife wants something unique or trendy.

Big Swami,

Get one of those baby name books. Write down all the shitty names in that book that you would name a child (e.g. most of the ones posted here). Leave that book in a bookshelf for your child. Wait until they're about 10-12 years old and they find it. Watch them look at you funny for the next decade with "YOU WERE GONNA NAME ME LaGERTRUDE OR BAMCRACKER?!?"

My wife is "one of those" women. She has no idea what she likes, but she knows what she hates as soon as she hears it. Based on this, I can tell you so far that there will be no babies named after cars or cities (i.e. "Madison"). There will also be no babies named after Catholic virtues (i.e. Charity or Faith), and no overtly religious names (Rachel, Leah, Elizabeth, Mary, Madeline, Christina). I will keep you apprised of anything else I learn.

What about Primoz?

Swami, let me just put it this way: anything with "shawn" or "shaun" on the end is stupid.

What about Primoz?
I'm keeping that one in my pocket to spring on her when she's having a weak moment.

LOL who the hell names their daughter Charity?

What about Flip?

Well, if your real name is Glenn anyway.

This thread:

http://www.roadstar166.com/Candle%20Flame%20Animated.gif

I like Elizabeth.

Only because of Elizabeth Bathory.

*devil horns, but not in that lame ass Matthew McCaughnagay way*

LOL who the hell names their daughter Charity?
There's a lady named Charity Nebbe who reads the news on Ann Arbor public radio.

I like Elizabeth.

Only because of Elizabeth Bathory.

*devil horns*

ONE RODDDDDDDDE TO ASA BAYYYYYY

Are you a fan of Venom, Karl?

Yes.

Georgina Blaha Swami

Doc.

I'm liking BAMCRACKER a lot.

Marideth

Jezabelle

I like the idea of oldschool euro names for boys. Too many names are too trendy and annoying these days. If you use a popular name, you probably already know someone with that name that is a douchebag.

Boy name: Darko

Thread ovah!

I say go with Biblical names:

Boy: Methuselah
Girl: Bathsheba

You could also go with Greek Mythology names:
Boy: Tartarus
Girl: Athena

Still not convinced?

Stick with the Islamic Names:
Boy: Khalid
Girl: Azra

I got great names just flowing - let me know if you need more help.

Swami, aren't you Indian? Give your son a cool Indian name.

There's a lady named Charity Nebbe who reads the news on Ann Arbor public radio.
She does more than read the news. I met her before she became locally "famous". She was a "roommate" (more like a commune-mate) of a friend of mine in A^2.

For exotic names from Ann Arbor Public Radio, go with Tamar. :)

Swami, aren't you Indian? Give your son a cool Indian name.
I'm not Indian. I just happen to know a lot about south Asia and I am a Buddhist.

However, I really do like Buddhist names like Visakha and Ananda. Can't talk the wife into those, though.

I like WTFDetroit as a name, actually.

Jasmine

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Nathan Detroit.

If I can't name a daughter Madison, I'm pretty sure I can't name a son Detroit.

Wisconsin is teh suck though. Michigan ... well Michigan just beat Florida.

Favre Wrangler Swami

Favre Wrangler Swami

I'm comfortable with that.

LOL

First name = Ann
Middle name = Arbor

My wife is 5 months prego. Girl. No name yet. I will propose some of these.

Wow, lots of action on a bullhit thread.
You want kids, you want to ruin your life, might as well give them a name that ALL THE OTHER kids can make fun of too. Something like "Harold Richard Swami" or "Fallotta Vagina Swami".
It doesn't really matter what you name them. You'll never utter those words again once you have to stay up til 4 in the morning because they're cryingmachines, or they have "the cholic", or they just feel like being themselves. Instead of saying something like "Please, little Ian (yes, you'll probably give it a modern gay name), go to sleep! Daddy's got to give a major presentation tomorrow, and if I fuck it up, we'll all be sleeping in a cardboard box behind the burger king on ten mile and hoover!", you'll be saying something like "Oh, mommy can't hear us? SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LIttle goddamm helpless freak! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CRY SO MUCH, BITCH?
Would you like me to carve your fucking eyes out FUCKTOOTH?! Oh God, why, oh WHY did I ever let my wofe talk me into having this little worthless fucker?"
And be prepared to think those wonderful thoughts right up until you finally tell the bastard that you are THROUGH bailing him out of jail, or taking care of her kids, or tired of them stealing money for drugs.
The WORST thing about having kids is that becomes all you and your fellow robotic Stepford Couples talk about. Ever. Period. Again. And you have to try to pretend you LOVE your kids so your friends can pretend to love theirs back at you, while the little thing that goes off in your head and makes you dizzy, and want to contemplate killing the next lying spineess guy who tells you "I love my kids! My son is on the team and he scored four goals. He got an A in social studies. His dick is bigger than mine."
Oh, you'll see. You'll be surrounded by pampers, diaper bags, strollers, car seats, baby shit, baby toys, clothes, and all you will see are the legions of others stuck in your predicament: Praying for first grade to roll around so you can stop paying $200.00 a week to some "Day Care" provider who is wanted for murder in Arizona.
And here's something even more fun: Every time you want to leave the house with your wife and "The Trolls", it will take three hours to pack up all the shit you need now that you have become a travelling circus. Oh boy, is THAT alot of fun. I know you go to the mall and make fun of the Stroller Army that takes over on Sunday. Doesn't it look like they have enough gear to support a party of 100 on a climb up Mt Everest?

So go ahead, do it. Shit, there's 7 billion people in the world, we sure could use three or four more!

Congrats Herm

Wow, lots of action on a bullhit thread.
You want kids, you want to ruin your life, might as well give them a name that ALL THE OTHER kids can make fun of too. Something like "Harold Richard Swami" or "Fallotta Vagina Swami".
It doesn't really matter what you name them. You'll never utter those words again once you have to stay up til 4 in the morning because they're cryingmachines, or they have "the cholic", or they just feel like being themselves. Instead of saying something like "Please, little Ian (yes, you'll probably give it a modern gay name), go to sleep! Daddy's got to give a major presentation tomorrow, and if I fuck it up, we'll all be sleeping in a cardboard box behind the burger king on ten mile and hoover!", you'll be saying something like "Oh, mommy can't hear us? SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LIttle goddamm helpless freak! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CRY SO MUCH, BITCH?
Would you like me to carve your fucking eyes out FUCKTOOTH?! Oh God, why, oh WHY did I ever let my wofe talk me into having this little worthless fucker?"
And be prepared to think those wonderful thoughts right up until you finally tell the bastard that you are THROUGH bailing him out of jail, or taking care of her kids, or tired of them stealing money for drugs.
The WORST thing about having kids is that becomes all you and your fellow robotic Stepford Couples talk about. Ever. Period. Again. And you have to try to pretend you LOVE your kids so your friends can pretend to love theirs back at you, while the little thing that goes off in your head and makes you dizzy, and want to contemplate killing the next lying spineess guy who tells you "I love my kids! My son is on the team and he scored four goals. He got an A in social studies. His dick is bigger than mine."
Oh, you'll see. You'll be surrounded by pampers, diaper bags, strollers, car seats, baby shit, baby toys, clothes, and all you will see are the legions of others stuck in your predicament: Praying for first grade to roll around so you can stop paying $200.00 a week to some "Day Care" provider who is wanted for murder in Arizona.
And here's something even more fun: Every time you want to leave the house with your wife and "The Trolls", it will take three hours to pack up all the shit you need now that you have become a travelling circus. Oh boy, is THAT alot of fun. I know you go to the mall and make fun of the Stroller Army that takes over on Sunday. Doesn't it look like they have enough gear to support a party of 100 on a climb up Mt Everest?

So go ahead, do it. Shit, there's 7 billion people in the world, we sure could use three or four more!


fucktooth?

I liked Glenn's post more than skippy's.

OK so my wife has decided that maybe it might be OK for us to try to have kids, under one condition: there have to be a good set of names to choose from. This leaves me completely stumped, so I need help. All I could come up with is "Rollo" if it's a boy and "Laverne" if it's a girl.

That right there is the problem with American Society. I believe we're the only society that is chicken shit enough to let our women decide just about everything that is important. I've see this in my lines of work for the last twenty years. The American Male has become the American Mute. Afraid to piss the wife off, letting here make all the important decisions, and actually believing that old saying "If momma ain't happy...BARF"
Seriously, listen to or watch a Home Depot commercial. See what they have relegated men to: being bossed around by some cunt they fuck once or twice a year (unless she wants mor securit--er, kids).

I liked Glenn's post more than skippy's.

Of course you did. Your wifew would probably beat your ass if she even KNEW you were on this board, let alone reading the Art of Zip Goshboots.

My wife used to work the NICU (neonadal intensive care unit) at Hutzel downtown. She used to hear some pretty amazing baby names there.

Wow, lots of action on a bullhit thread.
You want kids, you want to ruin your life, might as well give them a name that ALL THE OTHER kids can make fun of too. Something like "Harold Richard Swami" or "Fallotta Vagina Swami".
It doesn't really matter what you name them. You'll never utter those words again once you have to stay up til 4 in the morning because they're cryingmachines, or they have "the cholic", or they just feel like being themselves. Instead of saying something like "Please, little Ian (yes, you'll probably give it a modern gay name), go to sleep! Daddy's got to give a major presentation tomorrow, and if I fuck it up, we'll all be sleeping in a cardboard box behind the burger king on ten mile and hoover!", you'll be saying something like "Oh, mommy can't hear us? SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LIttle goddamm helpless freak! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CRY SO MUCH, BITCH?
Would you like me to carve your fucking eyes out FUCKTOOTH?! Oh God, why, oh WHY did I ever let my wofe talk me into having this little worthless fucker?"
And be prepared to think those wonderful thoughts right up until you finally tell the bastard that you are THROUGH bailing him out of jail, or taking care of her kids, or tired of them stealing money for drugs.
The WORST thing about having kids is that becomes all you and your fellow robotic Stepford Couples talk about. Ever. Period. Again. And you have to try to pretend you LOVE your kids so your friends can pretend to love theirs back at you, while the little thing that goes off in your head and makes you dizzy, and want to contemplate killing the next lying spineess guy who tells you "I love my kids! My son is on the team and he scored four goals. He got an A in social studies. His dick is bigger than mine."
Oh, you'll see. You'll be surrounded by pampers, diaper bags, strollers, car seats, baby shit, baby toys, clothes, and all you will see are the legions of others stuck in your predicament: Praying for first grade to roll around so you can stop paying $200.00 a week to some "Day Care" provider who is wanted for murder in Arizona.
And here's something even more fun: Every time you want to leave the house with your wife and "The Trolls", it will take three hours to pack up all the shit you need now that you have become a travelling circus. Oh boy, is THAT alot of fun. I know you go to the mall and make fun of the Stroller Army that takes over on Sunday. Doesn't it look like they have enough gear to support a party of 100 on a climb up Mt Everest?

So go ahead, do it. Shit, there's 7 billion people in the world, we sure could use three or four more!
Ha ha, I knew this thread would get your attention.

Honestly, it really is about 50/50 right now. It might not happen at all. I'm cool with either way. I think I'd be a pretty great dad, and my wife has that "I want a child because I want to be a better parent than my mom was" thing going on. I'd feel kind of bad if we had elite parenting skillz and no kid ever got the benefit of it.

Caligula would be a cool baby name.

I still say Vladimir would be a tight choice.

Starbuck

BTW, it helps to have the last name to figure out how the first name flows. You usually don't want first names that end in vowel sounds in conjunction with last names that start with vowel sounds because it can turn into a mouthful. You usually don't want a longish first name in conjunction with a terribly-long last name. Subramaniam Langloislostlovechild is too long and scary a name.

Or you can laugh at how incongruous our choces are with your last name. :)

^ Very true.

I believe his last name is Swami.

Duh.

We have our second due on the Fourth of July. I have to find out boy or girl....just the way I am.

Picking names is one of the hardest parts of the pregnancy. We agreed not to even start looking at names this time until we found out boy or girl. I always had a hard time with associating the name with somebody I already knew and didn't like (I apparently don't like a lot of people). Then, if I came up with a name I liked, I would get "eehhh, you can name a dog that if we ever get one" as a response. I was equally brutal to her suggestions.

One suggestion I have to pass on is if you and your wife finally do come up with some names you like, don't tell anybody. It really sucks when you've gone through all of the discussions and book reading to find a name just to have a friend say, "really, you're going to go with that?". After that it's a swift punch to the throat and back to the book of 1,001 names.

My buddies name is Jim Roe. We tried to get him to name his kid Skid, but his wife would have none of that.

Sebastian would've worked.

My buddies name is Jim Roe. We tried to get him to name his kid Skid, but his wife would have none of that.

Wade V. would have been cool, too.

I have a desperate need for privacy on the Internet, so I really cannot express to any of you how horrible, unpronounceable, and utterly foreign my last name truly is. Suffice to say, I feel like we have free reign to choose whatever first name we want. Nothing is never going to sound good up against the last name.

Is it Polish?

Dwyane for a son.

Thread Over. Officially.

Wade V. would have been cool, too.

Ahhhh, I giggled. First time in a day and a half. Ok enough of the 'pitty me' sentiment.

Swami, would you consider "Tahoe" or does that violate the "no city names" clause in you and your wife's contract?

If you have a boy, name him "Sue". It worked out pretty well for Johnny Cash.

Dear Son,

I'm the sonofabitch who named you Sue.

Happy Birthday!

Love, Dad

This thread had me ROFL'ing.

"Ronald Stuckey Swami"

"Ronalda Stuckey Swami"

I should have it like they do in China, where the family names and personal names are reversed. Therefore my children would need to be named Big "X". Richard would be the obvious choice for a boy.

Aluminium.

Business.

Retard.

If you have a boy, name him "Sue". It worked out pretty well for Johnny Cash.


He named his kid Sue?

Wasn't his wife named June? Who the hell names their kids after months?

I'm going to name my kid February.

He named his kid Sue?





Oh boy...

Steve. It's a great all purpose name, not overly trendy but not overly classic either.

As for the suggestion that a really long last name should have a shorter first name, I disagree. With my 12 letter last name, if I go by Tom, it looks ridiculous. If i go by Tommie, it looks more balanced.

Now name your kid Steve. All of you. Even those with children already named.

Thank you.

Steve is a great name, but our friends have already named their dog Steve.

As for the suggestion that a really long last name should have a shorter first name, I disagree. With my 12 letter last name, if I go by Tom, it looks ridiculous. If i go by Tommie, it looks more balanced.
And if you went by:

Algonquinnissimo 12-character-last-name

It'd just be long. :)

We gotta know what Swami's last name is!

We gotta know what Swami's last name is!
Mxy is an Internet Detective. He knows already. But suffice to say, it's awful.

Can't be any worse than mine.

Mxy, SHARE so we can come up with some serious solid names for the kid

*bump*

this daily conversation is starting to drive me over the edge.....I'm about to cave

All right - we've agreed that we will probably start trying for kids at the end of the year. It may take a while. I'm so old that when I shake my dick, dust comes out. I can't imagine what my swimmers are looking like these days.

My wife is good with Ivan and Max for a boy, but she vetoed Oscar on the grounds that her stodgy old grandpa was named Oscar. For girls, so far we've only been able to agree on Lucia. Girls' names are much harder than boys' names. So many of them are genuinely terrible.

Amusing story: my wife's aunt (who's pretty young) just had a baby. For a long time the mom and dad knew they were having a girl, but they couldn't agree on a name. Dad wanted "Skyler." Mom wanted none of it (thank you black Jesus!). So they agreed on...

...Allegra.

Seriously.

My wife says if we have a girl we should name her Claritin.

May I suggest "Alfonso Ribeiro Swami"?

Swami, Big Jr.

Abigail

Lucia - pronounced Lu-Sha or Lu-see-a

My wife is good with Ivan and Max
Max would be short for Maxwell, or Maksim, or what?

Max would be short for Maxwell, or Maksim, or what?

Mad Max

Would he then eat himself?

He would burrow into the stomachs of pregnant mothers and eat embryo's. Clearly.

Max would be short for Maxwell, or Maksim, or what?
It would just be Max, I think. The uncles will probably refer to him as Maksym, because they do that. "Stan" becames Stanislaw, "Chris" becomes Krzysztof, et cetera.

Lucia would be Loo-see-ah. I also like Jane, but my wife does not.

Lucia is a beautiful name.

The uncles will probably refer to him as Maksym, because they do that. "Stan" becames Stanislaw, "Chris" becomes Krzysztof, et cetera.



LOL, you are such an Eastern Euro.

I find it to be way more fun naming a girl.

As the father of a girl, my job would be to keep her off the pole. A name can go a long way in that area.

They just make up their own once they reach the pole.

There can't possibly be that many chicks really named Cinnamon.

However, I don't recomend naming her Cherry.

Right. "Desiree" is pretty much out.

I know a girl named Desiree (pronounced DEZ-ER-RAE). She's fat.

I know this girl named Catherine. Its pronounced Catherine.

Lucia is a good one Swami. I think you're set for a girls name.

As the father of a girl, my job would be to keep her off the pole. A name can go a long way in that area.

How is baby mercedes doing?

Hello........."Seven" anyone?

Swami's life would jump the shark.

http://www.babynamesworld.com/

Good site. If you click through the tabs for a given name you can see how often people say it is mispronounced or misspelled. Also people with a given name will explain exactly how kids used their name to make fun of them in grade school, that was a big help for us.

Sorry I don't have anything witty to add.

Hello........."Seven" anyone?

lol...and shame on anyone who dosn't get it

Seven, or just 7?

The name I hate for girls the most is Sam (Samantha).

Hate, hate, hate it! Don't even know why.

I hate the name of any bitch who doesnt suck dick.

That's funny and I agree, but it isn't just about dick sucking. I hate any bitch who won't try anything new.

I hate any bitch who won't try anything new.
I dont, because they all are willing under the proper circumstances.

You rich?

That has nothing to do with it. Women are still people, still have hormones, and still have emotions. Even the coldest bitch at that. Not doing something for one guy doesnt make it off limits for another guy who can set them off right.

There's nothing a bitch won't do for ME.

I was saying, you know, in general.

http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/large/wigger-15344.jpg

Other names I don't like: Amanda, Cassie, Amber and Whitney.

There's nothing a bitch won't do for ME.

I was saying, you know, in general.



Who do you think you are, Chad Warden?

I can never be ABAP like C Wizzy.

Other names I don't like: Amanda, Cassie, Amber and Whitney.

:whitney500:

:whitney500:

FTW!!