MoTown
11-01-2007, 12:32 PM
Here's a chance to predict anything and everything that will happen this season.
-Amir Johnson will be injured at least twice more this season, keeping him out of the rotation for the good part of the year.
-Steve Francis and Cuttino Mobely will find a way to be together by the end of the year.
-Penny Hardaway will be cut by December 15th.
-Stan Van Gundy will miss half of his games because of alerts on his iPhone about new "All-You-Can-Eat" promotions going on around the Orlando area. No one will notice because he will have an agreement with Ron Jeremy to coach the games when he is absent. Several restaurants will go out of business and Orlando will go into a recession.
-Shaq will have a great first half to this season. He will have a horrendous second half.
-The Boston Celtics will start off as the best team in the league for the first month. Then Ray Allen will get injured and Doc Rivers will be fired at the end of the season.
-T-Mac will miss 17 games because of his back this year. Carlos Delfino will miss 13 with a yeast infection.
-Kobe will not be traded... or maybe he will.
-Pau Gasol will start to tutor Darko. Darko will actually listen to Pau and try to become exactly like him. Darko will grow a beard to try to look like him, except his face will look like someone taped pubes onto it. That is where the Darko and Pau comparisons will end this season.
-Flip Murray will make me so mad at times during the season that I shit on the floor out of hatred.
-Jarvis Hayes will be in contention for 6th man of the year.
-Scott Skiles is a douche bag. (Not a prediction).
-Gil Arenas will miss at least one game this year for an injury he sustained while playing video games.
-The Bobcats will be respectable this year.
-Jackie Christie's husband will be picked up by some team before the playoffs start.
-NBA fans will have to watch as 17 new LeBron commercials are shoved down our throat before the playoffs start in April.
-Reggie Evans will star in an "Emerald Nuts" commercial.
-Daniel "Boobie" Gibson will have his smile punched off of his face before the end of the season. If not by a player, by a Pistons fan.
-Denver will have the best record in the West, but lose in the second round.
-Chad Ford and Keith Langlois will have a cat fight as to who likes the Pistons more.
-Sportscenter will lead off with the Suns, the Cavs, the Mavs, the Heat or Kobe 95% of the season. The only time the Pistons will be the lead story is when a Pistons fan punches Boobie Gibson in the face.
-Dwyane Wade will be referred to as courageous 4,794 times this season. 927 more times in the playoffs as they are swept in the first round.
-Minnesota will have the worst record in the league, but Al Jefferson will shine and become one of the games best young big men.
-All of these predictions will be true. Except for this one.
Got any others?
-Amir Johnson will be injured at least twice more this season, keeping him out of the rotation for the good part of the year.
-Steve Francis and Cuttino Mobely will find a way to be together by the end of the year.
-Penny Hardaway will be cut by December 15th.
-Stan Van Gundy will miss half of his games because of alerts on his iPhone about new "All-You-Can-Eat" promotions going on around the Orlando area. No one will notice because he will have an agreement with Ron Jeremy to coach the games when he is absent. Several restaurants will go out of business and Orlando will go into a recession.
-Shaq will have a great first half to this season. He will have a horrendous second half.
-The Boston Celtics will start off as the best team in the league for the first month. Then Ray Allen will get injured and Doc Rivers will be fired at the end of the season.
-T-Mac will miss 17 games because of his back this year. Carlos Delfino will miss 13 with a yeast infection.
-Kobe will not be traded... or maybe he will.
-Pau Gasol will start to tutor Darko. Darko will actually listen to Pau and try to become exactly like him. Darko will grow a beard to try to look like him, except his face will look like someone taped pubes onto it. That is where the Darko and Pau comparisons will end this season.
-Flip Murray will make me so mad at times during the season that I shit on the floor out of hatred.
-Jarvis Hayes will be in contention for 6th man of the year.
-Scott Skiles is a douche bag. (Not a prediction).
-Gil Arenas will miss at least one game this year for an injury he sustained while playing video games.
-The Bobcats will be respectable this year.
-Jackie Christie's husband will be picked up by some team before the playoffs start.
-NBA fans will have to watch as 17 new LeBron commercials are shoved down our throat before the playoffs start in April.
-Reggie Evans will star in an "Emerald Nuts" commercial.
-Daniel "Boobie" Gibson will have his smile punched off of his face before the end of the season. If not by a player, by a Pistons fan.
-Denver will have the best record in the West, but lose in the second round.
-Chad Ford and Keith Langlois will have a cat fight as to who likes the Pistons more.
-Sportscenter will lead off with the Suns, the Cavs, the Mavs, the Heat or Kobe 95% of the season. The only time the Pistons will be the lead story is when a Pistons fan punches Boobie Gibson in the face.
-Dwyane Wade will be referred to as courageous 4,794 times this season. 927 more times in the playoffs as they are swept in the first round.
-Minnesota will have the worst record in the league, but Al Jefferson will shine and become one of the games best young big men.
-All of these predictions will be true. Except for this one.
Got any others?