Go ahead and ask and I'll tell you why you're a douche bag and why I'd travel back in time and punch your pregnant mother in the stomach.

Dear -Q-,

Why am I a douche-bag?

Sincerely,

Mo

I am also interested in finding out why MoTown is a douche.

Dear -Q-,

Why am I a douche-bag?

Sincerely,

Mo

Well MoTown, that's a very good question and I'm glad you asked it. Allow me to explain.

You are a douche-bag because every time I look at one of your posts I am greeted by a near drug induced cyber trip into a crudely drawn version of David Hasselhoff's crotch that not only continues forever, but reminds me that much like that trip; your douche-baggery is also forever.

That is why I'm a douche-bag!

:emo kid:

I am also interested in finding out why MoTown is a douche.

Glenn, you are a douche-bag because you cannot follow simple instructions. Until I make a thread called "Ask NoQuarter why MoTown is a douche" you will remain a douche.

Dear NoQuarter,

I have two questions. First, am I living the high life? Second, why am I a douche?

Why am I a douche?

NoQuarter why you're a douche-bag?

I've known for quite some time that I'm a douche. My friends call me "VW" (Vinegar and Water) for short.
But the question is: why, oh WHY am I a douche? (No WalMart Wolverine references, please).

I would also like to know why I am a douche......

Dear NoQuarter,

I have two questions. First, am I living the high life? Second, why am I a douche?

Dear Big Swami,

You're a douche-bag because you ask stupid questions.

Why am I a douche?

E-ray, go immediately to your nearest bathroom, take a candle and journal with you, and cry about the harsh harsh world.

That should clear a few things up for ya.

:emo kid:

NoQuarter why you're a douche-bag?

You're just a douche-bag.

Lolzerpololzerpolzer. I don't think you know me too well, but that's ok. You can have another attempt.

Lolzerpololzerpolzer. I don't think you know me too well, but that's ok. You can have another attempt.

Is this the "ask NoQuarter how well he knows you thread"?

You're a douche. Move on.

OK![smilie=heatsmiley2:

I've known for quite some time that I'm a douche. My friends call me "VW" (Vinegar and Water) for short.
But the question is: why, oh WHY am I a douche? (No WalMart Wolverine references, please).

I couldn't clear my schedule up for the next 2 days, so a few minutes will have to suffice.

When you look in the mirror, do you see JUST a douche-bag or a douche-bag who's much too old to be on-line all day arguing with other douche-bags over which bullshit college is better than the other?

It's a fucking school. Last time I checked, some form of education was supposed to happen there. I was pretty sure the way it works is this:

highschool

grades

SAT's

decide which college has the facilities and programs you're interested in for the advancement of your education and future career

apply

go there

then spend the next 40 years arguing with the morons from the nearest "rival" educational facility why your decision was better than theirs based on a bunch of guys in uniforms running into each other.

spend the next 60 years of your life wondering why you wasted your money on said college when the shit job you're working could have been obtained just as easily by going to a community college.

Douche.

Bag.

I would also like to know why I am a douche......

Dearest Zekyl,

I know NOTHING about you. AS a matter of fact, I can honestly say I cannot recall a single post I've ever read of yours.

Therefore, you must be a douche-bag.

Well, the joke is on you. I didn't go to either school. In fact, I'm just a junior in college at the ripe age of 44. AND, I stay in the dorms with alot of hot chicks.
Plus, this is my student ID photo, and I bet I'm much better looking than you!

http://www.foxnews.com/images/1324/14_21_350_gibson_john.jpg

Well, the joke is on you. I didn't go to either school. In fact, I'm just a junior in college at the ripe age of 44. AND, I stay in the dorms with alot of hot chicks.
Plus, this is my student ID photo, and I bet I'm much better looking than you!

http://www.foxnews.com/images/1324/14_21_350_gibson_john.jpg

You're also a douche-bag because every time I read your name, I wonder what the fuck a "Zip Goshboots" is.

Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with you?

That's a rhetorical question. I don't actually want to know what's wrong with you or where the priest touched you as a child.

Dear NoQuarter,

why am I a douche?

P.S Is it your intention to overthrow the Emperor of Japan and install yourself as Shogun?

This appears to be a special cameo appearance of the Terrordome in the Off Topic forum.

^ What a douchey thing to say.

You're also a douche-bag because every time I read your name, I wonder what the fuck a "Zip Goshboots" is.

Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with you?

That's a rhetorical question. I don't actually want to know what's wrong with you or where the priest touched you as a child.

This is actually a big relief. At least I know the reason i'm a douche bag isn;t because of my walking around campus in stiletto heels and capri pants.

I was pretty sure the way it works is this:

highschool...grades...SAT's...

decide which college has the facilities and programs you're interested in for the advancement of your education and future career...apply...go there

then spend the next 40 years arguing...

spend the next 60 years of your life wondering why you wasted your money...

Douche.

Bag.


Hmm, my rudimentary arithmetic skills indicate that by being a douche bag I can live to be about 120 years old... and smell like strawberries. Fresh strawberries. On a summer evening.

Where do I sign up?

No Quarter, why am I a douchebag?

Dear NoQuarter,

why am I a douche?

P.S Is it your intention to overthrow the Emperor of Japan and install yourself as Shogun?

It depends on if you're from the Balkans and where.

and P.S.

No.

This is actually a big relief. At least I know the reason i'm a douche bag isn;t because of my walking around campus in stiletto heels and capri pants.

That's douchey?

Hmm, my rudimentary arithmetic skills indicate that by being a douche bag I can live to be about 120 years old... and smell like strawberries. Fresh strawberries. On a summer evening.

Where do I sign up?

You're a douche-bag for correcting my obviously exaggerated math.

Thanks for asking.

By the way, those of you who ask are slightly less douchey than the douche-bags who're too afraid to ask.

Congratulations.

To whom it may concern,

Why am I a douche bag?

-Matt

-Q-,

Am I the least douchey since I asked first? Is there any way I could shed my douchey label, or am I stuck with it for life? And should I be proud of it? Am I a douche for asking too many questions?

-Mo

Am I a douche because I won't look at that gross shit in the champagne room?

Am I a douche bag because I look at the Champagne room 20 times a day?

If I pronounce it as "doo shay" will I sound european and sophisticated?

You'll sound like someone who doesn't know what an accent aigu is.

Damn. I wasn't going for midwestern... oh well.

NOQuarter is a douche for not responding...